C2 She Left

Zhang Jian, with his head bowed, comforted Ann Jue who lay in bed, “Don’t worry. If this herbal remedy doesn’t work, we’ll find something else. There’s always a solution. And if all else fails, we can go abroad. I’ll charter a private jet for you to ensure you’re comfortable and safe... Here, have a bite to soothe your throat.”

Ann Jue’s gaze was distant and detached, as if she were reluctant to eat. Yet, after a brief hesitation, she nibbled a tiny bit from his hand, barely managing that much. Any more would have been too much for her to stomach. Advanced liver cancer had caused her liver to swell, pressing against her stomach, making it impossible to eat without feeling nauseous. Many foods were off-limits, as eating them could lead to a build-up of toxins in her system, potentially causing uremia. Ann Jue was already experiencing symptoms of uremia, but she kept this from Zhang Jian. She knew that if he found out, he would stop at nothing to take her abroad in search of a sliver of hope, a new treatment.

But what good would it do? Ann Jue looked at the man she had once deeply misunderstood, feeling a twinge of bitterness and guilt. They were neither relatives nor had they known each other for long. His care for her was more than she could have asked for. She had no right to burden him further, and no amount of effort would cure her disease. It was better to spend her remaining days in peace, without struggle or worry. Once everything was over, Zhang Jian would gradually forget her and find someone worthy of his genuine affection to share his life with.

For her, happiness seemed out of reach.

"Do you still remember that night, ten years ago, when you talked about taking care of me?" Ann Jue brought up, her tone laced with a hint of mockery as she looked at Zhang Jian.

Zhang Jian’s brow furrowed, a touch of annoyance in his voice, "Why do you still bring up such old matters? I was clumsy with words back then, and I never intended to imply what you thought. You completely misunderstood me! I can still feel the sting of that slap!"

Ann Jue smiled faintly as she glanced at the spot where his finger pressed, feeling a similar ache in her chest.

Back then, Zhang Jian was all about profanity and money, decked out in gaudy gold attire, sporting a crew cut. He stood out in the hedonistic banquet hall. The first time they met, he bluntly asked her, "How much will it take for you to come with me?" Wasn't it obvious he was suggesting he wanted to keep her?

It took many years for her to understand that the man willing to offer her all his wealth wasn't trying to keep her, but rather, he wanted to spend his life with her. If only Zhang Jian had been more articulate, more refined in his approach, Ann Jue mused, perhaps she wouldn't have been so fixated on Duan Chen.

Lost in thought, she suddenly chuckled, "Zhang Jian, why are you so foolish?"

"Yeah, I'm the foolish one, and you're the smart one, smart enough to torment yourself into this state..." Zhang Jian's laughter was strained, and he couldn't bring himself to look at her face. His hands shook as he held the knife, "I've always said Duan Chen was no good, but you wouldn't believe me! You wouldn't listen, and now look where it's gotten you. Regretting it now, aren't you? Hmph!"

Resting her head against the headboard, Ann Jue nodded vigorously, "Yes, I have so many regrets..." But her deepest regret was not recognizing Zhang Jian's sincerity sooner. If only she had seen it even a month earlier, she might not have ended up in her current state.

She had spent a decade torturing herself into a cancer diagnosis, clearly something was amiss with her mind. Yes, she should ask Dr. Liu to check her brain as well, perhaps schedule an MRI. After all, it wasn't her money being spent.

Noticing her eyes closing, as if she were about to drift off to sleep, Zhang Jian stood up anxiously. "Jue, don't fall asleep now! I'm going to take you to the rose garden later, the one from the project I worked on. It's not far from here. You adore that new variety, the one with the black roses... Jue, Jue!"

Ann Jue thought to herself, "Yes, a visit to the rose garden sounds lovely, especially this time of year." But first, she needed to rest. She planned to wear the new white dress Zhang Jian had bought for her, the one he said was more beautiful than any starlet on television.

"Jue, Jue, please don't scare me like this... Get up, come on, get up!" Zhang Jian cried out as he held her, tears streaming down his face uncontrollably. He tried desperately to blink them away, but they only fell faster.

Tears dropped effortlessly onto Ann Jue's neck, dampening the Peace Jade Button tied with the red rope. The emerald Peace Jade Button glowed softly, its intense green hue seemingly deepening.

Ann Jue knew her old problem had resurfaced. She had only recently agreed to be his friend, and yet, at every opportunity, he would overstep his bounds. But she decided to let it slide, considering he had harbored a secret crush on her for a decade. Besides, with her gaunt frame, no one else seemed to care for her the way he did.

"Jue—you can't just leave me like this. I won't allow it, do you hear me? Why do you have to be so cruel to me?" Zhang Jian's cries were heart-wrenching.

Ann Jue wanted to shake her head to signal that she wasn't, that she was allowing him to hold her. If a hug wasn't enough, perhaps a kiss would suffice? Just the corner of her mouth, that would be okay. She was on daily injections, and her body reeked of medicinal fluids, even her lips tasted bitter.

But why had Zhang Jian stopped calling out to her? It was so unlike him. Then she remembered the potted plant he had given her, which had recently bloomed with bright red flowers—she wondered if he had seen it. And the passbook hidden in her study; it still contained thirty thousand yuan. With a little more money, she might be able to afford a modest burial plot in her hometown.

On June 3, 2013, at 2:23 PM, Dr. Liu gently broke the news to a despairing Zhang Jian, "She's gone."