C4 Shared Moments With Erinoi, and the Altar Server

[Shinai Indigo]

“I don’t want to attend your wedding ceremony. I do not want to be there in your wedding ceremony!” I shouted at my brother Erinoi. I don't mean it. I'm kidding around—in the mood to tease my own brother to get back on him from all of those mischief I received when we're still young, wild, and free.

He just laughed at my exasperation and put his hand on the top of my head to mess my hair. I slap his hand away from it and glared at him, wanting to bury him six feet under the ground. I cannot understand where he got this idea from. I do not think that horrifying idea was from sunshine- I mean Sunny. I don’t think she liked it. It is not her cup of tea. I am saying this-because I know her, her likes and dislikes. Because before she became Erinoi’s girlfriend- she is and will still be my girl friend. My bestie…

And this guy- took her away from me. He took his sweet time to flatter her with his words- and then snatched her. I glared at him and blew a hungry breath. Erinoi chuckles and kiss my forehead.

His plans are so out of this world. Erinoi is not normal. I bet he is planning his adventure to planet Mars to see his real family members.

That is so so unacceptable. His decisions are not acceptable.

He has the flair for unlikely things. Like come on- why would you decide to choose mint-green as something to represent you and your long-time girlfriend’s color for your wedding? Seriously-mint green? Where did it originated to let your wedding attendees wear suits and long gowns having it as a color?

That does not make sense just like mint ice cream. I do not like mint green nor the mint-flavored ice cream.

Mint-green. I puffed another angry breath after that thought. I can never look at the mint-flavored ice cream again without remembering him. I am insane for this- getting myself hooked to go back to the past whwn the word “mint” pop in my head. A mess-tight situation that already ended but the scars are still present. I refused to foresee the past experience as I closed my eyes and do the 4-7-8 breathing technique, I learned it last week. Figure out that I should give the technique a try— to lessen my nerving anger that keeps popping.

When I opened my eyes- Erinoi is still smiling brightly, blinding me with the shininess of his white teeth.

“I think you need to go see a doctor. You might have some brain injury because of the way you are acting.” I said half-joking. It sounds mean-but he is used to this way of my behavior. So, it’s good.

“I will take you with me then. You also need some help, Shinai.” Erinoi laughed loudly.

I rolled my eyes at him and threw the pillow that I recently grab out of the cushion.

“You are annoying. You need to get out of my room now.” I firmly said changing my tone just like how my mother will use that kind of tonality on me whenever she felt like bossing around out of nowhere to get me to do something that I do not even want to do. But always ended up doing it.

“You don’t need to use that kind of tone on me, Nai. You don’t do that to your older brother.” He teased. With his eyes beaming happily while looking at me. His way of looking at me is not surprising. He always looks at me like that. It is always the same look he had back when I was younger until now that I am moving towards the age of being an oldie. I don’t like using the term “old”- I prefer oldie since it has spice.

“You are still a baby to me.” He said softly.

He went to sat beside me, and then gaze to the picture frame that was positioned on the wall. I followed his gaze and stared at it too. I can see our happy smiles.

Erinoi’s hand was wrapped around my shoulder and my hand around his waist. We were wearing tees with the same design but in different colors. He wore the blue one while I had the pink tee. His other hand was holding a stick with a cotton candy on it and I was holding the pink plushie that he won while playing an arcade game. At the background was a big golden ferris wheel with little passengers riding on it. I can still remember how our aunt excitedly told us she wanted to take photos of us to be put inside my photo book. We looked really young back then. So happy. I was 8 and Erinoi was 15. And he wasn’t that much annoying unlike now.

“I am a grown up now. You can stop calling me that word.” I snorted.

“You will always be my baby.” He scooted towards me and planted a kiss on my forehead.

“Liar. Sunny and you will have your own baby on the near future. And you will change the course, the fetus that will grow inside Sunny’s womb will be your baby. And it will be your little prince— if it is a boy, a princess if Sunny will conceive a girl.”

“You will always be my baby sister. My princess. A blessing that changed my life for the better. One of the greatest gifts that was sent from heaven.”

I looked my brother with a frown on my face. I am in disbelief upon hearing his words right now. It is way more unbelievable than choosing mint-green as the chosen color for his wedding.

“I don’t believe you.” I frowned even more when I saw his smile widens. “Cheesy words won’t affect me. Especially if it is from you. Because you do not look like you mean what you are saying. Your words right now don’t match up with your past actions, Erinoi.”

He flicked my forehead and mess my hair again. It’s his favorite gesture. The one he always does whenever I am with him.

“You are my favorite person. My favorite more than mom and dad. And why do you even think that I don’t mean what I said, I meant it. Wholeheartedly.”

I hugged him tightly. Flashbacks started to appear in my head as I remember the revelation that change the life, I once knew A lie that turned out to be something really good.

(Flashback)

“He is not your cousin, Nai. Erinoi is your brother.” My father uttered without even trying to prolong his revelation.

My parents are separated. I did not grow up having a father by my side. He was absent during the time when my mom have me in her belly and he was still absent during moments where I was able to walk using my own two legs, during moments when I was able to talk, during moments where I fancy artistic things, during my birthdays, during holidays. He was absent. Not until one April afternoon, I woke up from my nap only to find guests whose faces were unfamiliar for me. They were smiling at me. I remember how I immediately went to go upstairs and to go back inside my bedroom when my mother spoke;

“He is your father, Nai.” No emotions can be seen in her face and she confidently blurted her words with coldness in her voice. Her eyes pierced upon the man who looks at me with such longing in his eyes. Beside him was a boy.

My eyes went to my mother, wanting for her to explain what was happening. It went to the man then towards the boy. I can still process the information that was given at me that I put my hand on my head because it started to hurt. I suddenly felt dizzy that I want to leave them and to go and drift on my dreamland because it is way more enjoyable being there.

“How do you get this big?” The man said. He paced towards me and pulled me to his embrace. His hug is too stringent that I want to pull away from him but I can see my mother gesturing to let him do what he wants. He patted my head several time and caress my hair.

“Are you really my father?” I asked him inconvertibly.

Skepticism flow through me. I wanted to say a lot of things to him but I didn’t add more words to be said to him. I am wanting him to explain things to me. His reasons behind leaving me and mom. I want to observe how he will be able to put his statement together so I can discern whether he’ll spread more lies or not. I wanted to know whether he did regret leaving us behind. Or does he ever think about us while he is living his own life.

“Yes.” His voice broke and all I can hear are his cries. He cried so hard that it was painful to hear it. He did not want to let go of the hug and he just cried on my shoulders. I saw my mom’s head shook lightly and I saw the boy smiled thinly looking at me and my father’s period of requisition.

I master the urge to say my question out loud because if I keep this within me, I will never gain any clarity.

“You are my father, right? But why do you left without saying anything? Why did you leave me? Why did you let Mom do the parenting alone instead of helping her and doing your part as a parent?”

The answer that I wanted that day was never answered. But one thing is clear, I am still glad it was never too late to know that my father does exist…

Things run smoothly after my father’s appearance. Too smooth as if he didn’t leave us in the cold. Mom and him didn’t get back together which is fine because if I where in my mother’s shoes I wouldn’t take him back too. I was looking at the two of them roasting each other in a playful manner and play fighting as if they were lovers that starred in a romantic movie. They were laughing about something I couldn’t understand and I am just looking at the two of them. Not even wanting to join them. I can feel the presence of someone beside me and I looked at to see who it is. It’s no other than, my cousin.

“Where are your parents?” I asked him.

“Don’t worry about them. They are doing well on their own.”

“Do they know that you are here— with him?” I puckered my lips to point at my father.

He laughed at seeing me do it. He then smiled at me warmly. “They know and they just don’t care.” He answered.

I move my head in a nod. I don’t want to ask him more questions because I don’t want to look that I’m too nosy. And besides-we just met each other for the first time. I don’t need to let him see the parts of me that is too lively.

“What about your siblings? My cousins?” I couldn’t help to add.

“There are three of them. I have an older sister and an older brother, Eunice and Scott. I am the third child after me is the youngest among us four, Willy.”

I looked at him and he still is smiling at me. He looks very happy. He must’ve loved his siblings that much because he is smiling this way.

“Your household must be fun.” I said diverting my gaze to look at my parents who seemed to lost in their own worlds. I wonder whether they even think that they have two people with them in the same area.

“It’s just a normal household.”

“You mean- a conventional household that is fitting in the eyes of the society. A household where it is made of a complete family.” I bitterly responded. I couldn’t help to say these words- maybe because I am jealous of the idea of having a whole family.

I can feel Erinoi looking. His eyes are attentively checking my face to look for something. I decided to met his gaze and he showed me a smile.

“I am here now. Consider me as a sibling, your companion to every adventure.” He said in an almost confident manner that he sounded like he had the strong belief with his words.

We grew together. He was always present during my birthdays. He will always be with my father whenever he will go to visit me. He will always check up on what I am doing. Always wanting to tell him everything that experienced during the weekdays. He told me; “Don’t leave any details, okay. I want you to tell me everything that made you happy.”

I can openly tell him about my secrets, and he was always willing to listen. A find a brother and a friend in him at the same time. I remember praying to God that I could’ve have him as an older brother, and he always assured me that not just because were cousins I would just stop myself in treating him as an older sibling. He will always tell me that he is my brother and that I will always treat him like one.

Of course- it’s not hidden. The guys that I liked before, he knows about all of them. And he was always invested with what I tell him. He was one of my number one cheerleader, pushing me to do something about me crushing on a guy. He will always laugh whenever I tell him I like someone and he will always say that, “You got that from me. You got our DNA. Our family are eagles eyeing their preys, you should capture the guy’s heart. Follow some of your brother’s amazing skills in swooning girls.”

Not until something that was hidden for a very long time was brought to the surface. A fight came between my father and Erinoi. This was the first time I saw him that angry. Rino rarely gets angry. He always had that smile on his face. But this time, it was different. He looks like he was about to do something that can potentially hurt my father—physicslly. I hid myself from their sight. I just stood there waiting about what’s going to happen.

“I’m done with the lies, papa. When will you ever tell her the truth? Nai deserves to know the truth- she’s my sister. I have obeyed you for so long, this is the only thing I ever ask for. Why won’t you give it to me?”

“Papa.” I was shaking while I was saying that word. I walk towards them.

“Nai.” They both said in unison. Panic is visible in their eyes.

“So, it is indeed true. That Erinoi is my brother?” None of them answered my question. “It is true isn’t it? That my doubts are right all along. For how long are you planning to deceive me? If I didn’t hear your conversation, I wouldn’t even have the confirmation that I have been eager to know.” I shouted heavily. “All I ever wanted is your honesty, Papá. That I will hear the exact words it from you. That you will tell me that Erinoi is my brother. But you didn’t. You got so many chances, Papá. And you, Erin. You knew the truth too. But why did you still choose to ride with my fathers lies? I-I thought you are my best friend? You’ve always wanted to know everything but me. This single truth- you can’t even share? You too even hid it from me.”

I was brought back to my current moment. My brother’s arms are still around me. A tear fell down my face.

“We’ve been through a lot.”

“And we’re strong enough to get pass it.” He added.

“So, as my good sister. Why don’t you partake in arranging your brother’s wedding?”

I let out a huge laugh. And went on hugging him more.

“Why didn’t you say earlier that you’re needing my brilliant ideas to be used for some good will, eh? Instead of making me mad about your idea of using mint-green to your wedding?”

“You take my words too seriously. I was just joking.”

My brother and I both laugh at ourselves. We both know why I loathe “mint green”. Once you hated something— it will be not easy to removed the hatred that you have upon remembering it.

“Alright. I’ll do it. I’ll help you and Sunny to have the best wedding time ever.”

My brother laughed and said; “That-is a music to my ear.” He kissed my cheeks and proceeded to hug me even more.

[The Next Day]

I went inside the church to talk to the priest for the details. My annoying brother pleaded to do it for the two of them since they’re off to have some alone time as a couple. And here I am waiting to have a talk to the priest.

“Miss.” I heard a manly voice that thundered inside the church. It sounds too manly. The type of voice that can make girls squeal in awe because it’s just to attractive.

I slowly looked back to see who it is and I saw a man who’s wearing a cassock. That black undergarment worn by someone who serves the church.

My expression turned sour upon seeing his clothing. It’s a waste. This guy is just my type. He looks like the lead character of a Korean movie. An oppa.

“Are you the head priest?” I asked without thinking about courtesy. I can’t fathom the fact that this guy is a priest.

“No. I’m one of the altar servers.”

My mouth formed into “O”. He looks at me strangely. Which made me close my mouth and showed him my smile. Hoping it will captivate him.

“I’m sorry. I’m not looking for a girlfriend. And I don’t like girls drooling at me during first meeting.” He cockily said in front of my face.

My eyes get bigger upon hearing him said his comment too confidently. I made a tsk. It really sucks because this guy looked so full of himself after he said his words. He seemed so proud, like he had achieved a higher accomplishment.

I can hear Jordan concealing his laughter to break out of his mouth and that made me angrier. I glared at him haughtily and he covered his mouth to avoid showing his laughter.

I move my chin up and walk away from the scene with my head held high. This is not something that should make me feel embarrassed. I managed to look back and gave the guy an eye roll. He was supposed to be on my list of my “handsome and cute men encounters”. Too bad he showed me some attitude…