C11 Life in the pack

. Life in the Pack

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I have had time to think while I lay on the hospital bed. It was wrong to wish for death. I may hate my situation, but I still have time, and nothing lasts forever.

As hard as it might be, I will make a life in the pack—a quiet life. Here, I might never be respected or loved, but I am not in a cage, and I can be happy by myself. I just have to make sure my wolf does not die. It will be her and me against the world.

Kaden has not returned to my room since that day, but there are two bulky wolves mounted at the door, making sure I don't harm myself. I have never actually harmed myself, despite the torture I faced in my former pack. This time, the possibility of truly losing my wolf shook me. I don't need a doctor to tell me that I need therapy, but how am I going to get it when I am still trapped in this pack? Werewolf mental health is not exactly treated as a thing in my world. Werewolves are naturally unpredictable, feral, and quick to anger, except for the broken ones like myself.

"Your vitals are good, Louisiana," Hannah smiled at me, and I weakly smiled back.

"When do I get to leave here?" I asked.

"Louisiana, though I am worried about your shifting, your body seems to have recovered. But I am unable to tell when the changing might happen again and if you will survive it," she responded.

"How can I survive it?" I asked. She could sense the determination in my voice.

She smiled widely before responding, "It would be easier if your mate is beside you to draw out some of the pain you will feel. I was already thinking of talking to the Alpha–"

"No!" I stopped her. I don't want Kaden's help. "Is there no other way?" I inquired.

Hannah's face contorted into a look of disappointment, and I already knew the answer before she said, "Louisiana, I am sorry, but this is the only possible method that I think would work."

"How exactly does Kaden take my pain? Would that hurt him as well?" I asked. Despite Kaden's apathy towards me, I did not want to be the reason why he would go through more pain.

"The Alpha will also go through pain, I will not deny that. But if the pain you would feel is shared between the two of you, it would not be as excruciating as it would be if you took it all by yourself, as you witnessed previously," Hannah explained.

"Oh!" I said weakly. "How does this work?" I asked.

"There is the catch. You both have to be mated and marked for this to work. It is the strongest bond, that is the only way," she confessed, and my eyes widened.

"Does the Alpha know about this yet?" I asked.

"No, I am going to inform him when I leave here," she replied.

"Don't tell him," I demanded. I know I am being foolish and risking my life, but I do not want Kaden to mate with me because that is the only way I will live. I do not want him to accept to do something that he will regret afterward.

"But, Louisiana–" Hannah whined, but I cut her off before she had the time to protest.

"The human doctors have this patient confidentiality agreement. I think that applies to werewolf doctors as well, since you doctors also attended the same school and took the same oath," I explained.

"But this is different. You are the Alpha's mate and would soon be a Luna. I would be failing the pack if I failed to save your life," she reasoned.

"I am a mate that would never be accepted and neither would I become a Luna of this pack. Hannah do you know my origin?"

"Yes, I do" she answered

"Then you know why I would not be accepted. I am the pup of the man who raped and murdered the previous Luna of this pack and her child. Do you think Kaden would bed me when all he sees in me is my father and his blood flowing in my veins? This sick mate bond is the only reason why he has not killed me and might not. So, do you understand why I refuse to let Kaden do this for me?"

"I understand, Louisiana. But as a member of this pack, I do not see you for your father's sins. You have suffered enough for a sin that was not yours. You are now living with the consequences of the punishment you have suffered and endured for three years. The Alpha might be angry now, but that does not change the truth. The truth is that he is your mate, and when he accepts that, the rest of the pack will as well," she explained.

"I thank you for your words, Hannah, but I will not change my mind," I was adamant.

"I am sorry, Louisiana, but I have a duty to my Alpha and to the pack. I will tell him," she too was quite adamant.

I hissed under my breath, and when I was about to push further, Kaden stepped into the room.

"Tell me what?" he questioned. He had heard Hannah's last statement. I immediately pleaded with Hannah with my eyes, but she was stuck on her decision.

"I have found a way to save her life and her wolf," she announced.

"How?" Kaden asked in anticipation.

"You have to share her pain, and for that to be possible, you both have to be marked and mated," Hannah dropped the bomb. Kaden's eyes widened.

"What!" He asked, completely stunned, while I just stared. His surprise soon turned into a scowl. He hated the idea just as he hated me. I could see it in his eyes. Maybe he would be the one to reject the idea, and then there would have been no need to beg Hannah to keep that information a secret.

"It is the only way, Alpha," Hannah said, as if pleading on my behalf. Was my life really worth saving to her? Or was it her nature and her career field that made her this way?

Anytime now, Kaden would reject the idea, and he would say no. I closed my eyes, waiting for the word to come out. I waited a few seconds, but the words I had expected never came. Instead, its opposite did.

"Yes, I will do it," he sounded, and it was like I was suddenly drenched with water. My eyes shot open immediately.

"What?" I was deeply confused. Why was he doing this?

"How soon do we get this done?" Kaden asked Hannah.

"Soonest, Alpha. The full moon is in two days, and the shift would come naturally. You both must have been marked and mated before that time if we are going to save her wolf and her life," Hannah answered.

"We will get it done tonight," Kaden announced, like it was the simplest thing to say in the world. Does my word not even matter in this? It is my own life and my wolf. I should have a say.

"Very good, Alpha. I will have her discharged for you to take her home," Hannah said. She smiled gleefully at me before exiting the room, leaving me to face Kaden.

"You don't have to do this," I said. "I know this is unbearable for you, but you can just reject me, and I will go and die somewhere in peace," I reasoned.

He glared at me. "All you care about is death. You had three years in your rotten pack to do so, but you did not. You want to die by my hands because that is what your family is set out to do, cause me pain. Your father first, and now you," he spat.

I was livid at his statement. "I do not wish you pain, Alpha. I wish to save you from it. You are repulsed by me, and when you bed me, you will regret it afterwards and feel guilty," I explained.

"You don't know how I feel," he spat.

"I am sorry."

"This will happen. You will live. This is not your first time, so it should not be a problem," he said.

"There is no problem. I have chosen to live, but..."

He cuts me off. "Very well, I will go now and make preparations. James will be here to get you." With that, he was out of the door, while I just stared at his retreating figure. This was going to be my first time, I was going to say.

****

James soon arrived a few minutes later after he left. He helped me up from the bed, although I was fit enough to carry my own weight, and then we left the clinic and headed to his car.

The clinic was a bit far from the pack house. When we arrived, I was already preparing myself to exit the car, but James did not stop. Instead, he drove behind the pack house to a modern duplex building before stopping.

"This is the Alpha's house," he clarified before exiting the car, and I followed suit. James led me into the house, and I was very much impressed with the interior, and then we went up the stairs to a room.

"The Alpha is inside," he said before leaving me at the door of the room. I gulped before I opened the door and entered the room.

Kaden stood by the window, staring out of it, but his breathing pattern made me understand that he was aware of my presence, though he was yet to face me. The room was beautiful, with grey and black-themed designs, except for the white linens on the bed, which surprised me. The room was void of any scent, apart from Kaden's and mine, and I was certain that nobody had been in this room. He hadn't brought his lovers here, and that brought a pang of happiness to my heart, but I quickly dismissed it. There were no romantic feelings between us.

"Take off your dress and lie on the bed," he commanded, still facing the window. I didn't argue and did as I was told. I knew this mating was not going to be that of lovers. It was just something that needed to be done to save me from the clutches of death.

Kaden soon joined me. He was still wearing his trousers, but his shirt was gone. I was bare as the day I was born, and I felt ugly. Some of my scars were visible on my legs and hands, but most were on my back. They were like scattered lines, and they probably couldn't heal because the whips were laced with wolfsbane. I hadn't received proper treatment after the flogging. Most of the scars were from the night of my punishment three years ago, while some were caused by Sean when I fought against his sexual advances towards me in the beginning.

I knew Kaden saw the scars. There was sorrow in his eyes, and it felt like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he captured my lips, just like he did in the clinic, only this time he was a little more aggressive. I struggled to keep up with him and find a rhythm. When his hands pinched my nipples, arousal set in. He left my lips and descended to the right side of my neck, kissing and sucking like a starved man. I struggled to hold back my moans, with a few slips here and there. I knew he was preparing my neck for the marking, but I was afraid to touch him, fearing that my touch would immediately repulse him. So, I held back my hands. He moved to my breasts next and sucked away. I hadn't realized his trousers were gone until I felt his member at my entrance, and without warning, he slammed inside me. This time, I couldn't hold back the pain, and I screamed out, tears running down my face. He froze immediately as he realized what had just happened. His gaze met mine, and he was surprised to find out that I was a virgin.

"I am fine," I said. He didn't have to feel guilty for not knowing. Most people in my former pack didn't believe me to be a virgin either. Sean was a loudmouth who spoke things that didn't even happen, and everyone believed him. I was the virgin whore of RedSand.

He searched my eyes for the truth, and when he was sure that I wasn't lying, he continued, this time slowly. He picked up the pace when he was sure I had gotten past the discomfort, and by this time, I was a moaning mess.

Kaden thrust faster and faster. Then his mouth went to my neck, and I felt his teeth sink into my flesh. There was a brief pain, but it soon passed. He urged me to do the same, and I sank my teeth into his neck. Instantaneously, I felt a surge of energy, and I was sure Kaden felt it too as he thrusted faster. I was so close to climax, but what he did next shook me completely.

"Freyaaaaa!" he growled as he pumped his seeds into my walls, forcing me into my own orgasm. My body shook from the ecstasy, but as the knowledge of what he had said registered in my head, I immediately felt ashamed and disgusted. He pulled out of me, and he must have realized what he had done as he turned his face away, got up from the bed, took his trousers, and exited the room, leaving me wallowing in pain. I had never felt so used as I did today. Even when Sean molested me, it didn't break my heart as Kaden's actions did, and I hugged my body as I cried.