C25 Twenty five

"Are you okay?"

I glanced at Mawi, who was leaning against the closed door. She's crossing her arms over her chest and looked at me softly.

I bit my lip and for some unknown reason, I found myself running towards her. With each step, it felt like a stab in the chest. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore due to the overwhelming heaviness of my feelings.

She immediately greeted me with a warm hug.

"I-I don't know," I sobbed.

I didn't know if I was okay. I didn't know if my tears meant anything. I didn't know what was happening.

I didn't know.

She tapped my back. "Shhh," she comforted me. "You're feverish, and you might get sick. Don't think too much right now, it might make you feel worse."

I nodded.

I didn't want to think right now. I'm scared.

"O-okay," I replied.

She guided me back to my bed. I also noticed her consecutive sighs.

"Don't go to class tomorrow,"

"I'll go," I replied.

"Just rest here," she insisted.

I shook my head. "I think I can manage,"

"Just rest here. Angel and I will inform your Prof. You won't be able to focus tomorrow if your head hurts,"

I pouted. "Okay," I conceded.

She gave a faint smile before walking towards her own bed.

I closed my eyes slowly and immediately opened them again. I couldn't sleep right away because questions were swirling in my mind.

I looked at the white ceiling and drifted into a slight daze.

What if in an instant, I lose Cyrus because he found someone he loves more? What if in an instant, time turns and his feelings for me change?

What if in an instant, I'm no longer here?

What if he's back with her?

What about me?

My gaze landed on my ringing cellphone. I was about to get up to pick it up when Mawi stood up.

"I'll get it," she said.

"Thanks,"

She nodded and handed me the phone before turning away, so I buried my face in the pillow.

Our picture with Cyrus flashed on the screen.

I smiled with a bitten lip. I swallowed hard to keep my voice from breaking.

"Hmm?" I managed.

I felt like crying again. Can you please Cyrus, calm me down?

Can you please explain to me what's happening?

"Are you going to sleep?" he asked.

It felt like a stab in my heart again with his still cool voice.

Is he really Cyrus?

"Not yet... I can't sleep,"

Because of the questions in my mind. Because of my suspicion towards you that I hoped wasn't true. That you're not with Akia because she's the one you love more. That it's her again and not me.

"Good,"

Silence enveloped us again. I was barely able to move. What's really going on? Why is it like this? Is he implying that he's going to leave me?

"Have you eaten?" I asked.

Even though I have many questions about him and Akia that I want to ask, I didn't because I don't want to.

I don't want to wake up to the reality that I'm... that I never really was.

"Yup, You?" he returned.

Seems forced.

I couldn't take it anymore. I started crying again.

"Yes,"

Another round of silence in our conversation today.

Won't he even explain?

"By the way,,"

"Ah tomorrow--"

"I won't be able to pick you up tomorrow or the next day, there are things I need to take care of, Sorry, Yoreh," he said.

"Cyrus, Can you please help me to fix my things?"

My lips gaped at the phone when he hung up on me.

Fixed her things? What? Why is he fixing his things? Is he going to stay at Cyrus' hotel? What are they going to do? Damn it.

He's not Cyrus! No! Cyrus wouldn't hang up on me. He always begged me to hang up first! That's not him! No! Damn it!

He didn't even call my name the way he called me. He didn't even explain to me.

He didn't even notice that I was hurt, that I am hurting.

He didn't even say his breathless 'I love you'.

I angrily typed.

To: My Sun.

I love you.

I waited for minutes to receive his reply. He couldn't have fallen asleep already, right?

But it's been an hour, and there's still nothing. Not even a dot.

That's not him! I hope not... But... It's him, but he's not the Cyrus who said he loved me.