When he opened his eyes again, it was already afternoon and the sky was darkening slowly. Looking to the ceiling absentmindedly for a while, Long Zhua's eyes started to regain their focus and was getting watery.
Now that he understood why he was in Turkey and had a different face. Although this was the most bizarre thing happened to him in his whole life, he didn’t even think about this at all. The new memories he received from Kaan Özkan was much more important right now.
Kaan’s life was not the most miserable nor pitying he had seen before. There were many people whose life much more miserable than him, he knew that and he personally heard or seen them. But nonetheless, he started to crying up a little.
When he saw Kaan’s memories in first person view, he also basically went through them. Long Zhua was feeling like he lived a second life altogether and when he woke up just now, he even started to doubt his own identity and confused whether he was Long Zhua or Kaan Özkan.
When he compared his life with Kaan’s, he felt ashamed. Although he was genius and succeeded almost everything he had done in his life, he was lazy as hell. He didn’t have an ambition nor pursues in life. Although he was strong, he didn’t fight for more. He didn’t do anything but had it all. As for Kaan, though he could have it all, he lost everything. His life took 180 turn when he lost his parents.
He could have had a girlfriend or friends. He could have been going to the university without worrying about bills and food. He could have been first in his studies across the school if he wasn’t going to the work till the late hours or could have been hanging out with his friends instead of working.
Maybe they were similar in one thing and that was, they both lost their youths. One of them was just didn’t want it and the other one just didn’t have the leisure.
‘What a pity…’ Long Zhua sighed and closed his eyes again.
Seeing an ambitious and hardworking man forced to lose his everything, Long Zhua felt bad and unfair. What’s more there to say? The guy even lost his body to him. Even though Long Zhua didn’t know how this is happened, and it was unintentional, still, it left a bad taste in his mouth.
Long Zhua thought that he should do something to repay Kaan for giving his body to him or else this feeling of guilt and being in debt to someone really was going to eat him inside out. After thinking for a while, he thought that he must take care of his sister like a real brother as a substitute of Kaan. Yes, this looks feasible. Although she is 19 this year, she was still a kid in the perspective of Kaan. Looking after her until she got married was a good idea, or so he thought.
Although he thought that this was a good idea, he felt like it wasn’t enough. He was doing it for the sake of her sister, what about Kaan? Long Zhua felt like he should do something for him too. Something on his name. Getting rich? Maybe. However, although Kaan coveted money, it was all for his and his sister’s better living conditions. After he died, how can he feel being rich?
Having a girlfriend? Nah… It was like having myself a girlfriend. Besides, this is also not something Kaan can feel. A dead can’t love someone, right? Killing the guys who extorted and beat him up? Well, this is also not looking good. After dying, what grudges and vengeance are there?
Banging the most beautiful girl he saw? Hmm… This… This looks alright. Although he can’t feel the pleasure of having sex, the act itself is about body. Since nothing else but his body left in this world, Long Zhua thought he should do something while using Kaan’s body. Though this idea seemed okay, it was a pain in the ass actually.
Think about it, in order to fit the found girl in ‘most beautiful he saw’ criteria, he must search for Kaan’s memories to remember who was the most beautiful one among them. Even if he found it, he can’t just go and say “Hi, can I bang you? You are the most beautiful girl I’ve seen.” Right? That’s why, before having sex, he must woo her and make her his girlfriend first. This was a very long story, and honestly, Long Zhue is not a man who can flirt. In fact, he also hadn’t have any girlfriend in his whole life.
Looking for an escort or alike? Hmm, this is also not feasible, because in Long Zhua’s opinion, an escort might be beautiful or sexy, but the most beautiful one should be nonexistent. Although this is a baseless opinion, he didn’t feel like he can find it in any time soon. Even if he found one, she must be working for extremely rich people or high-ranking officials. With his current identity, it seems impossible.
Anyway, there is still many more years ahead. He can act according to circumstances in the future. It’s not like he must repay this debt of gratitude immediately. He noted this on a corner of his mind, and opened his eyes again, but this time they were filled with excitement!
Yes, excitement! Thinking about a new life, a new future, a new identity, he felt so excited that he started to tremble! Finally, finally he can get rid of his previous shackles and start anew. He can finally graduate from being a good guy! The promise he made to his master was like a maggot that never leave him! He had been so fed up that he lost being himself. Yes, he lost being himself. He didn’t know his own personality. Outside world knew him good guy and a justice bringer but… But he didn’t give DAMN! He didn’t care who’s going to die or who is crying. He grew tired of bearing so much people’s expectations. It is all began with “Hey! Somebody! Stop him! He kidnapped my purse!” and escalated to “Who’s going to save us from terrorists?!” His all life was never ending “good guy” loop.
“Fuck! Fuck all of you! I’m finally free! HAHAHAHA!”
Long Zhua never felt this happy before. His eyes were shining like he found a million dollars on the road. University? How is the campus life I wonder? Working in a normal job? Never did before. Having a sister? Having a relative? My first time!
The future life ahead was so bright that his breath was in disorder and his heart beating very fast. A new life! A new page! Although he felt guilty about possessing someone else’s body, he couldn’t care less. Besides, when he remembered the doctor saying that he wasn’t supposed to wake up, his guilt diminished significantly. When Kaan hit his head to the rocks, his brain was dead, or was going to die probably. Wait… He wasn’t supposed to wake up?
“Oh! You're awake!”
It was the nurse he saw this morning. She still looks silly and immature but this kind of liveliness and silliness was very pleasing to the eyes.
“Um… Yes, I woke up just now.” Although he didn’t know Turkish before, after his memories merged with Kaan’s, he naturally has the ability to understand and speak the language.
“How is it possible?! The doctors said you weren't supposed to wake up anymore! But you just woke up this morning and all the doctors were surprised. You were a vegetable basically you know?! After you fainted again, we re-examined your brain and your condition was not improved at all! It got worse in fact! How can you wake up again?” Said the nurse very excitedly.
Listening silly nurse’s words, his back was sweating profusely. What? Vegetable? Worsening condition? Now that I think about it, back of my head hurts slightly. Also, it’s tamponed and bandaged, I guess. There was a feeling of a lump there.
“Hey! Don’t scare me! It just hurst a little. Call the doctor here! What a scam! Am I not awake now?! What vegetable?!” Said Long Zhua angrily.
After listening Long Zhua’s reprimands, the silly nurse ran off like a frightened rabbit. She probably gone to call doctors.
Long Zhua was filled with very mixed feelings currently. There was anger, loss, uncertainty, anxiety and more. “Am I going to die again?” was the question he was asking himself right now. It was like a bucket of cold water splashed on his head. He dreamed his new future life just now but that stupid nurse said he was supposed to be a vegetable? No way! I can’t accept this. I just fucking died. How can I accept dying here again so soon!
Approximately 5 minutes later, the old doctor and silly nurse came in the ward again. The doctor was looking to him his brows furrowed. And for a whole minute he didn’t say anything. The bastard made Long Zhua so uneasy that he couldn’t take it anymore as opened his mouth.
“Hey, gramps, that silly nurse behind you said I’m going to be a vegetable. She’s lying right? How can a nurse understand something profound like brain functions? Not to mention a silly nurse like her, right?” Long Zhua looked at to the doctor pleadingly.
The doctor said nothing and kept looking to him quietly. This made Long Zhua so angry that his face started to turn red.
“HEY! YOU SAID I’M SILLY JUST NOW?!” After 10 seconds later she got understand that she was insulted.
“That’s not the point! Fuck!” Looking to the angry nurse whose face flushed red, Long Zhu felt both angry and amused at the same time. How can there be a nurse this much stupid in a hospital? He started to doubt this hospital’s authenticity.
Old doctor opened his mouth finally.
“We shall re-examine your brain and talk after we check it. Although it’s unlikely, there might be a hope to your brain healing itself. When you first came, it was clogged with blood so much that we couldn’t even see the brain damage in MRI. After a very long operation that we could see what is the damage on your brain. And conclusion was that your brain had close to zero activity. So, you should understand why we said you were supposed to be in vegetative state.” Said the old doctor gravely.
Listening to what the doctor said, Long Zhua’s brows also furrowed. Although he had medical knowledge that might rival to the doctor in front of him, he also couldn’t understand what happened to his brain right now. Normally, if a person gets a serious brain injury, that person should be in coma, so that brain can heal own its own. But if the person has very severe brain injuries though, they may move from coma into a vegetative or minimally conscious state. However, sometimes patients with very severe brain injures may not enter coma state naturally and those patients are placed in a medically-included coma using a drug like propofol which is used in anesthesia to try to allow the brain heal itself.
Long Zhua knew all of this and he found his situation similar to last group. Maybe he couldn’t enter coma state himself. But even if he couldn’t enter coma state, he shouldn’t be awake right now. A person with a traumatic brain injury like himself couldn’t even dream normally, let alone talking and thinking. So, when doctor said he was supposed to be in vegetative state, he understood it completely. However, he couldn’t understand why he is awake now currently. According to what the doctor and nurse said, his condition should be worsening. ‘Could it be something related to my soul transfer?’
“Alright, let’s check the brain again. But I want to see the results too.” Long Zhua said to the doctor seriously.
The doctor couldn’t understand why he wanted to see his own results but he agreed and went to prepare the procedures.