C13 Jealous

ANTARTECES

“She’s beautiful,” Antarteces stated, but her eyes were glued to Knight, her eyes shows the sorrow and hurt that only she can feel, looking at the man who is looking at the woman whom he loved.

“Yes, she is more than that word,” he responded and a smile on his lips, a smile that you can’t even define. Those were the smiles that Antarteces expect to see but she sees those smiles because of her, Ysabella.

“Are you happy now?” she called for and Knight didn’t mention a word instead a smile was written on his lips, that was enough answer to her question.

“Tomorrow you bring her back to her room, she’ll wake up as if everything was a dream or maybe. She is too smart to think all of this was a dream. This is enough for now and when the day comes that I will take her, we are on our empire,” he replied and Antarteces fixes her cloth mask in her mouth, she wanted to bite her lips to prevent the tears from wiping away her eyes.

‘You are the one I will die a thousand times for,’ she thought phrases that remembered her the day that she was waiting for him.

‘I chose you, and I will repeat the action over and over. A million times over. I feel incomplete without you. Every time I look at you, I feel love and inspiration coursing through me. How destiny writes fates, I see, you want her Knight, but she doesn’t want you, I am here for you but you wouldn’t want me. You taught me to dream fearlessly, and love limitlessness, though you didn’t know what love is. You don’t know the meaning of love Knight, you only know the definition but not the truth of it.

The true enemy of love is when emotional indifference takes command of logic; for only when love takes command of logic can it can make excellent choices. Love in command of both our higher logic and our primitive drive is humanity’s hero-mode.

Even though Ysabella is still in the state of unconsciousness, she could feel her surroundings. She wanted to open her eyes, but it was just too heavy to open it no matter how much she tells her mind. She wanted to move her feet and fingers but she can’t even feel them, not even a muscle. But Ysabella could sense that they are people talking but she cannot even heard it. She could sense that they were in a dreary place or a room. Even in her state she had felt relax that she somehow thought odd and scary how on earth that she would feel relax in her state now? Her heart beat was at rest. The air moved like cool water and the aroma of scented candles infused her far more deeply. It was intoxicating her, as if she was calm and perfect, which makes her worried.

She wore a red dress that made of soft, satiny fabric that hugs her curves and her it showed half skin of her breast, her paled porcelain skin embraces that ominous light of the room. Knight can’t help his self not to touch her delicate soft skin. He left a mark over her healthy breast, he left a love bite after that. He leaves her a mark that will remember him, she was his.

“Ysabella,” he breathes and slowly bend down his head and touch her lips with his. Knight placed a kiss on her lips which makes Antarteces stands from where she was sitting and slowly walks away from the scene that was slowly ripping her heart away, nothing is more painful than that scene to her eyes.

***

FLASHBACK

The winter time has passed in its somber majesty, having brought us skies of richly marbled greys and trees so elegant in their bare beauty. Those chilly days for calmness and reflection are waning and a fresh energy rises. Antarteces lets her eyes flow from tree to tree, noticing the buds ready to open into the light, to be as green flags in the ever-warming wind. The crowd has a life of its own, the vibrant clothes shine in the morning light and the people move like enchanting shoals of fish. There is chatter between sellers and buyers. It’s busy for sure, but the hustle and bustle brings a life to this capital.

She feels the energy, she loves the vibe, and then she wants to find a quiet tree in a quiet spot to feel peace of mind once more. Yes, a peace of mind doesn’t suit her personality because of what she is, a paying woman. But she is just a person who wants calmness in life and nothing to worry about, but that won’t do.

“I love you”, she blurted as she put her hand up and feel the heat of the sun. Those are the words she kept secret, she wanted to tell those words to him, Knight, but that would be a crazy idea and maybe if she would tell it to him he will immediately leave her.

“It’s spring, he told me to wait for him. And now look at me silently praying and waiting for him, who am I kidding? Wake up Antarteces, you are such being a nobody,” she whispered into a thin air and sighed until someone speaks up which startled her from her place. She spun around and her heart skips a beat. There she saw the man who had taken her heart away, whose the reason why her breath stops and her world stops spinning around, if this is love she is doomed. Meeting him was a fate, being his pastime was a choice. And falling in love was bound to happen. He was the one who paints her world.

He was the one she will die a thousand times for.

“Are you waiting for me my doll?” his deep voice asked and Antarteces was still bewildered that alas Knight was here, in front of her and she can’t believe that he was smiling. That smile is the prettiest thing she would have seen in a while, for it extends to his eyes and deep into his soul. She just wish those smiles meant for her and not that woman. His smile was one of happiness growing, much as a spring flower opens. She could see how it came from deep inside to light his eyes and spread into every part of him.

***

“Where are you going?” Knight asked which cause Antarteces to halt.

His voice was just so irresistible that Antarteces wanted to slap herself, why did she stop?

“Get some fresh air and a drink, I think you two need a privacy,” she answered and leave without waiting for his response. It’s not anymore important.

'My heartbreak is grief that comes in waves, grueling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It is a shard in my guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges will dull. You're still hurting me Knight and I don't like this feeling.'

For Antarteces that was the most heavy footsteps she had ever felt in her entire life, every step she makes her heart shattered into pieces and pieces until none of it left. She wants to cry but she would not again shed tears, her life looks even more miserable if she does that.

My heart was pounding and I can even feel an ache gripping in my heart that I cannot explain the reason why. I don't understand why I am feeling this. I again had this dream that I feel like I belong. I feel like I am that woman dressed like a man. But why? It looks like real.

I wipe the sweats that brimming in my forehead and sigh. I also notice that my pillow were soaked. I touched my face and it was wet. I was crying? Yes, there were tears in my eyes.

"I must be crazy? I must be sick," I uttered and look at the window. It was the middle of the night and I am sure of it even I am not looking at the time. This date is full moon and I can see clearly the moon shining through my window. It was beautiful but it was treacherous one to see.

It is like I had seen it before but it was impossible. How could it be? Moon have no difference, who am I kidding? Maybe I am like this because of the stress that I am at. I have been so stress up lately because of the studies and works for short financial problem and I am too shy to open up to them. I've been a burden to them everyday, they fed me and they also just slip my contribution here in the apartment so it is better of at least just keep this to myself. I will be fine.

"I will be fine."