C17 My life is worthless

ANTARTECES

The sun was shining and the laundry is calling me. I sighed as I see my clothes. I can only count my clothes though. I walk where the basket of my clothes and smiled.

"It's okay you can keep going Antarteces. Maybe in the next day or in the future you will be walking through your closet and picking a new style to wear for your every day work. But that would put a lot of work in washing clothes huh," I uttered and pick up the basket. I decided not to use the washing machine for I will just waste electricity and just add up some bill. And I don't want to burden them upon paying bills.

Upon washing the clothes I suddenly remember that strange guy. I admit he is a good looking and looks so masculine but he looks strange. Maybe he is a new resident here huh.

I can't stop thinking about him lately even though I get myself busy. I was working in Jollibay while he is in my head and I can't even concentrate. What was wrong with me we just barely talk but his eyes were so mesmerizing and now he occupied of at least fifty percent of my brain. My weak and tired brain that I used every day to think of how to survive myself in every day life.

I sighed as I finished washing my clothes. I get a pail of water to wash the detergent in my clothes before I get to dry it.

I was humming so I don't get myself bored while working. I am alone now here in the apartment. The others decided to go back to their home because their parents told them and also they misses them. And I was the only one left here. Christmas is coming and maybe that is also the reason why I am feeling lonely and kind of sad. My heart aches as I imagine myself celebrating the Christmas in my room and sleeping. I wish I could just jump the date skipping the Christmas itself.

I can't help but to think how pity of me. I pity myself for being in this kind of situation. Normal people would get to excited in this coming Christmas especially in preparing delicious food, gathering with families and friends, exchanging gifts and welcoming until twelve in the evening and greet each other with a Merry Christmas.

A tear escape in my eyes which I immediately wipe it away using the back of my hand. I hated myself. I hated my situation. Why? Why do I have to feel this way everyday? Not even a single glimpse of happiness and tears of joy in my eyes. Is this what my fate is? I this what my life is written all about? I want to know if I even have the progress making out there in my life until I am old or until the end of my life or I am stuck being how miserable and every single day of struggling just to survive for a day.

"Why did the two of you left me?" I muttered under my breath as the wind blows my hair. I am referring to my biological parents. Why did they left me? I was just a baby but they left me. Do they not want me and decided to get rid of me? Am I now that lovable even I was just a baby? What do they see in me that time? A burden? A jinx? My life was already written even I was not yet born, huh.

Is that how poor my life in the eyes of the above? Wind blows in my hair and I tucked some of loose hair in my right ear as I closes my eyes. I smiled as to what I have thought. If God is against of my good fortune then how about the underworld? The devils maybe? Yes, I maybe a crazy girl right now thinking and maybe a miserable and desperate one but there is nothing to lose if I got to question it to myself right?

I love books and one day I got to touch this strange book that got my attention. I was interested. The cover that as supposed to be the title of the book was blank but as you flip some pages you got to see what the book is. It was all about the gods. The title of the book was GODS and it mesmerize my brain and eyes and got the excitement to read it. I don't know why but really it connects into my life. I didn't read about the angels and god above. What I read was the underworld.

It says that you can sold your soul or get your soul into a contract and in exchange of your soul is that you can wish for what you have desired in life. They will give a due date for them to collect your soul. I was in deep thought of that thing. The god above gives you no choice but just to live and keep going while the underworld gives you a choice but in return was more terrifying to accept. Could it be true? But if it is then are there or at least one person living here experience this thing and just waiting for her or his dues? If it is there I want to meet him. I want to talk to that person before the last day of his or her life. I also have seen movies about angels and devils. Devils who lure a person to do such things for them. Words that cannot be resisted by a human especially if talks about the money. People are easily baited when it comes to money. Wealth excites the blood of the human. It sparkles their eyes and then agreed in the end without them totally imagining what will going to happen to them. If you are normal and can think straight you will come into a straight point that you can't bring your wealth when you die. All of your money will be meaningless but come to think of it the desires of the human. They are not thinking of how will things work in the end. And in the final point of your life you will see your destination that you have agreed on.

"Nevertheless, my life is worthless so I'd rather sign my life into death. Come and take me."