C4 CAGED

It took a moment for the day's event to flood into my mind. I began to shiver as I made stumbling steps to the sitting room. Grandma was standing with her long cane in her right hand and her left hand resting on her waist. Her stance was that of war. There was an ugly look on her face as she stared at me. Ma Suzanne was standing at one side with her head bowed.

Immediately I walked in, Ma Suzanne quickly locked the doors so there would be no place of escape. I couldn't blame her. She was doing what grandma asked of her. She was only a worker and so had to obey her boss.

"Yes, grandma. " I answered timidly.

"Beatrice! Suzanne told me that you came back home 4:22 pm instead of 4:16 pm. What were you doing with the remaining six minutes?"

My lips began to quiver. I didn't know what to say.

Grandma had gone as far as calculating the distance from my school to her house and vice versa. She made sure I left the house twenty minutes before assembly to meet up with assembly according to her, coming very early to school would give chance for plain chatters. So I came to school when the assembly was on and left immediately the closing bell rang.

It was for this same reason grandma accorded only a minute to meet my driver when the closing bell jingles. Everything was calculated. One minute for me to get into the car and fifteen minutes to get home; in total sixteen minutes. Nothing more and nothing less.

I racked my brain for what to say but when I couldn't find anything else to say but the truth, I told her even when I knew she wouldn't believe me.

"Lies!" Grandma screamed at my face. "How many times have I asked you not to lie to me? How many times?"

"I'm not lying, grandma. " I said wearily.

"Shut up!" The cane flew swiftly to my back and I yelped in pain. Tears fell off my eyes immediately as I rubbed the spot in which I had been hit.

"You were talking and laughing with your useless friends. Do you think you can cook up some stupid stories then serve it to me? You think I don't know your tricks?"

My head seemed to increase immediately I heard her say that. What friends did she think I would have after all she had done to keep people away from me?

It was true I rebelled against grandma during my primary school days by speaking with friends despite all her warnings but as I grew older, I deemed it wise to abide by her rules. I only got pains and injuries from disobedience - Grandma never relented in beating me black and blue each time I flouted her order. She was still very young and healthy and could still run after me if I tried to escape so there was no point flouting her laws.

Seeing that she didn't want me talking to anyone even the goats and hens that bleated and cackled all day, how then did she expect me to have friends? I couldn't even speak long sentences any more. I had lost my ability to socialise for crying out loud.

"I wasn't talking to friends," I replied calmly. "I don't even have friends. The gate was locked when I arrived. You can ask - " I stopped myself.

"So you've grown so big that you can look me straight in the eye and lie to me? Ehn Beatrice? I'll show you. . . I'll show you that you can't do this in my house. If you want to go out with boys then you better do that in your mother's house. No matter how I try to teach you, you keep showing me that you're truly the child of your mother. You want to go through the path your mother took right? You want to destroy your life. Well, not in my house."

She grabbed me and threw me to the ground. My eyes darted to Ma Suzanne as I pleaded with grandma. Ma Suzanne kept her head bowed and she refused to look at me.

The whips came down slowly and then it increased like heavy rain. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to ease the pain but I couldn't. Grandma was an expert whipper.

Each stroke landed on the same spot and I felt my skin tear. The pain was unbearable. I could hear myself screaming and pleading but grandma continued her assault on me. I wobbled and danced around yet grandma never missed that spot. I tried to concentrate on something else other than the pain but I couldn't. I could never get used to the pain. I had received grandma's whip since I was a kid but the pain of each flogging was ever new. It was like a new person was flogging me each time. The pain destabilized me. It messed with my thinking.

Finally, it stopped and I curled into a ball as I sobbed quietly.

"Get out of my sight! " I heard grandma say.

With the little strength I had in me, I stood up and walked into my room. Any delay after she had asked me to get out resulted to more beating so I made sure to stand up immediately she finished her beating.

I sat on my bed and hugged myself as I cried. My body was on fire and I could feel the huge welt on my back.

Some hours later, I heard my name and I sighed heavily. It was grandma. I walked into her bedroom. I stood by the doorway with my eyes on my feet. Grandma walked to me and held my hand. She guided me to her bed and sat me down. I knew what she wanted to tell me. It had always been the same thing each time she punished me.

Each time she punished me, she spent hours explaining to me the depth of my crime and how such behaviours could ruin my life. She told me of her undying love for me and how she would never hurt me.

Speeches like these messed with my thinking. It left me in confusion. Her words melted my heart and cleared any hatred I had against her. It found its way to my heart every time. It made me feel grandma was right and therefore, I couldn't hate her.

I couldn't hate my mother also she was my only hope for a better life. It was true I would have been much happier if I was born legitimately but I still had faith in her to live happily with family just like the one she had. There were countless videos of happy moments captured in her phone and I watched them often though she never liked me watching those videos. She kept her phone away from me prior to this reason but I found a way to watch them anyway. With tears in my eyes, I envied the great love showered on my half-siblings by both parents. They had the opportunity to go wherever they pleased while I was locked in the house locked from the world.

Since I needed someone to blame for my misfortune, I blamed my absent father. I heard he was sent out of the country by his parents immediately my mother got pregnant and my mother never set her eyes on him again. I didn't even know his name.

My driver told me the next day that he had spoken to the gateman about the severity of what he did and the gateman promised to open the gate immediately the bell rang. I was grateful and I smiled broadly at my driver