C16 I couldn't calm down

"Alpha," she mumbled, nodding to herself. "I can see that. A leader. Natural born. Got that vibe from you. Approachable..." Her lips curved again. "I don't know enough about you to make that judgment. And arrogant?" She lifted the wine, pausing when it reached her mouth. "I can see that.

Oh, she's good. A lesser man would be a wet puddle on the floor by now. But I wasn't a simple man. And she'd have to try a lot harder than that to get me in the palm of her hand.

"Now we're talking," I said. "Would you like to order dessert?"

"After carbonara? Isn't that asking for trouble?"

My lips curved. "How about coffee, Angel makes the perfect espresso."

"Sounds great to me. Anything more and I'll have to get out of bed in the morning."

Eager to prolong his company, I waved Angel over and ordered the espresso.

"What are your plans for after Albuquerque?".

He took his time answering, sat back in his seat. "I have no idea. Just doing what I have to do, taking care of family duties." He sighed, regret in his eyes. "After that, I guess you could say the world is my oyster."

"The world?" I inquired, not liking the sympathy his solemn explanation aroused in me. My instincts were telling me something wasn't right. Added to Mary's assessment of Lara's behavior , there was more to it than met the eye.

"Well, the States." She smiled. "But I don't know where life will take me. I guess I'll have to see. What about you, what are your long term plans? I guess you've already put down roots."

I nodded, puzzled by the sudden desire for my long-term plans to include her. Her laughter, her jokes, her wit, her body under my hands. Making love to her every morning and every night.

My wolf howled with pleasure.

Shut up, my friend.

"The village is my home, yes." I waited for Angel to place the coffees before us. Once the man left us, I continued, "I feel like I can breathe here, and no matter what happens on my life's journey, I'll always have this at the center."

"That's lovely."

"It is. The city has been mine for a long time. I guess I'm lucky in that respect. I'll do everything in my power to protect it." I held his gaze, letting it sink in. He didn't look away.

"I don't blame you. You have a wonderful place here. I'd do anything to protect it, too."

"Is that true?"

"Yes, it is."

I gulped down my coffee, needing its warmth to combat the growing lust welling up inside me, and asked, "Do you have a boyfriend, Lara?"

"I wouldn't be on this date if I did."

I smiled at the bitingness of her response. "No. I guess not."

"Do you?" she asked. "Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Wife?"

I shook my head. "Not anymore. And I still don't have a wife. I prefer less complicated relationships. But with you, I think that would be impossible."

"And why is that? I'm not complicated."

"Oh, but you are. You're not a woman a man can taste and stay sane. You're a mystery. A puzzle to be solved."

She wrinkled her nose at that. "Maybe you should tell my ex-boyfriends."

My wolf growled fiercely. I had to drop the empty espresso cup for fear of breaking it. "It's not your fault you don't have enough self-esteem to meet the man you deserve. The vicious cycle always starts somewhere."

She took a sip of espresso, leaning back in her chair as she studied me. "You know shit about me.

I didn't mean to insult you. I just meant that when a person doesn't think they're worthy of someone, they tend to look for less."

"That's okay," he sighed. "You're probably right. Most women sell themselves short in a world like this. For a lot of men, if you're not pretty enough, thin enough, or smart enough, they don't notice you. If you're too pretty or too smart, they'll notice you, but for the wrong reasons. If you're too tough or too independent for them, they won't be able to stand it."

"Those aren't men, honey. They're idiots."

She laughed. And it fucked me up that even her laugh could turn me upside down. Only a partner should be able to affect me so deeply. And I knew she wasn't my partner, so what the hell was this?

"Give yourself time, Paul." He lifted his mug. "You're acting like a nice guy now, but the inevitable will come."

"And why is that?"

"When your wife gets fat and gets a stretch mark or two. When she loves you too much or puts you in danger of her affection and you can't stand her light, you'll walk away, becoming the same, said idiot ." He took a sip of his drink.

It's a cynical attitude to have about the male species," I smiled. "Aren't women just as bad?"

"Not with the right man."

"And who would be the right man for you?".

He stared at me, implacable. "One who tells the truth."

A grimace came to my lips. "One must tell the truth to demand it, my dear. And what human can claim to be one hundred percent truthful?"

"There are some lies we can't help but tell," she whispered. "What lie do you tell yourself at night when you're alone in bed?"

"Come to my bed sometime and maybe you'll find out."

She sketched a half-smile. "You're soft. I'm still trying to determine if that's a good thing or not."

Not liking how the energy had changed, I changed tactics and looked at the clock. "How about you finish your coffee and I'll walk you back to the inn? It's getting late."

Disappointment flashed across her face, and I was glad. She didn't want to leave either, and I had taken the lead again.

"Thank you.

"The pleasure is all mine, Lara . To the last drop."

Lara

I couldn't calm down.

Last night, Paul had tied me in so many knots I could barely see straight.

I wanted to call my uncle, to hear his voice and reaffirm that I was doing the right thing. But I didn't.

There was no way out. No one I could turn to. Spencer had a gun pointed at his head, and if he screwed up, Scott would pull the trigger. I had no choice but to go through with it.

And besides, even if it was Lara Swan , the woman who had been stranded in this quiet town, she wouldn't trust Paul nearly as far. He must be in his thirties and, in a small town with few women, he would surely have picked someone to settle down with by now.

On the other hand, if I had met him by chance, I would have taken advantage of it and slept with him, keeping my heart out of it. And why not, he had good moves. And if he had sex the way he kissed, then I'd be in deep shit. But he also had a hidden agenda, and he didn't strike me as a man looking for love. He probably had women throwing themselves at him, stroking his damn ego.

Groaning to myself for harping on about the slippery son of a bitch, I grabbed my purse and jacket, unable to stay in the room any longer. I had left Rose a note last night, telling her I wouldn't need breakfast this morning.

I intended to go into town, visit the library and maybe go to the coffee shop. Even if Mary wasn't there to talk, I wanted to be around people. The talk would quiet my thoughts and the guilt that was floating around in me like poison.

Using Mary's car to get around, I started at the hardware store-too late for breakfast, but too early for lunch. And after last night's meal, I could skip breakfast while I bought some groceries. Maybe even borrow a book from the library.

Tim , the store owner, had a decent selection on his shelves. Not that I could opt for the paint set as I was craving, but I found a sketch pad and a range of pencils I could use. Doodling would help me pass the time.

Tim, the charm, had set up a bill for me, assuring me that I could pay it before I left. He wouldn't take my money when I tried to give it to him. He was all charm, unable to help me enough. His kindness warmed me in a way I would never have thought possible. She also spoke highly of Paul , and the guilt grew.

Soon she would take him away from them. From the city.

Stop. I walked toward the library. You'll help him get back. You won't see him fall.

The small consolation rang false to my ears, so I pushed him down and continued my tour of the town. Even without tourism, they kept the town modernized and well kept. The library itself, a granite building with a slate roof and architectural twists reminiscent of the past, had sash windows, shutters and arched doorways, carefully maintained with manicured surrounding gardens.

I made my way through its cardinal red doors and felt the warm embrace of shelves and shelves of books bringing me home. I took a moment to appreciate it all, no longer gripped by loneliness. If only for a moment.

Sansa , the head librarian, cordially introduced herself and gave me a brief tour of the three-story building. She left me in the section that included the history of Woods Creek. She spoke proudly of her heritage, so much of which was evident in the framed pictures of the buildings and the documents stored in glass cases. He told me to take my time, look around, and that Mary had called earlier to confirm that it was okay for me to borrow any books from his card. I could hug that mechanic. But first, I dove into the small town's history, its deeds and old books.