C19 I can't do this

The melancholy in her voice made the guilt simmer in me. Maybe she's not a money-hungry bitch.... The wolf in me growled at me for calling her that, but I ignored it. Self-preservation came first, and until I knew what Lara's intentions were, I would not give myself over to her wiles as my damn wolf had already done.

We reached the creek, and the expression on Lara's face at the sight made something unfold inside her. She had told the truth about the creek being something meaningful to me. It was there that I decided the place was perfect for my plans; where I first looked at the land and felt it as my own. I had called it by my birth name, as a way of remembering who I was before I had to change my identity to keep Scott at bay.

"This is beautiful." Lara smiled, her eyes drinking in the view of the rich evergreens set before the snow-capped mountains of the landscape. She would capture it through her artist's eye.

She smiled, turning and seeing a part of my soul. "Now I know why you keep this place off the map. The connection here to the beginning of it all, all of us, what we are. It's raw, exposed, but not in a vulnerable way. It knows its place."

"So do I," I said, frustrated at how it made me reel, unbalanced. How dare he? How fucking dare he come here, to the land I had tilled for myself and my people, threatening every acre with his actions. "Lara, " I growled, wanting to shake her and throw her in the creek. My hand shot out and grabbed her by the arm, and my world went into a spiral. I pulled her to me, wrapping my arm around her and holding her close to my chest. I wanted to punish her, to hear her scream, but then I saw her eyes, which told a million stories, spoke of a thousand wounds, and I choked.

"Lara," I whispered, hooking a finger under her chin.

She swallowed hard, inviting me in, and I thrust, crashing my mouth against hers with such force and desire. Call me a bastard, but I had to have her, taste her. My tongue probed deeper, wild, seeking a promise of more. He gave it to me, wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed his body against mine.

With my legs against hers, I scooped her up in my arms and lowered her to the ground.

I laid her down against the grass and kept poking at her, devouring, because I was fucking hungry for her. I took as much as I could, wanting more, craving it as my wolf urged me to hunt and take it all.

My fingers brushed her neck, her arms. Desire, a treacherous longing, pulled and pushed, swirling to a point where I wanted only her.

Lara's hands went down to the front of my shirt and she crushed it between her own, clinging to me. I reached down and undid the buttons of her jeans. The warmth of his skin soothed me, but I wanted more; my fingers yearned to touch the core of the burn. I slid my hands under the fabric and rummaged under her panties, eager to find her entrance.

"Lara, " I whispered again against her mouth, kissing her, touching her, my fingers wet with desire as I slid them in and out, probing her center. She moaned. I licked and sucked on her lower lip, swelling it, making it mine, never ceasing to rub and caress her clitoris.

She lifted her pelvis in demand, and I slid two fingers inside her, deep, rubbing the sides. In and out. In and out. She moaned. I licked her neck, nipped her a little, finger-fucking her as she moaned my name, riding her hard as she clutched at my shirt.

I was going to fuck her. I had to fuck her. I wanted to feel that tight, wet pussy around my member , leaving me dry as I moaned her name.

But suddenly she stopped moving and pushed herself against my chest.

Paul." A tear escaped her. "Paul , stop."

I frowned, realizing he meant it. Seeing his tears, I reluctantly pulled my hand away.

"I can't do this," he whispered.

Of course I couldn't. She wasn't here for me. She was here to sell me out and I had tricked her.

I backed away. She stood shakily, trying to fasten the buttons on her jeans.

"I'll walk you back," I said through gritted teeth, the mixture of lust clinging to my member like a vise and her betrayal stabbing my heart, a diabolical cocktail.

"No!" he blurted out, taking a few steps back. "I mean, I'll be fine. Thanks for today," he muttered, turning on his heels and running along the creek.

"Damn it!" I pounded the ground with my fist, my feelings tugging at me like a goddamn survival rope. All the while, I was drowning in her sensations.

Her smell. The wetness of her pussy at my touch. The way she clung to my shirt, silently begging for more as she lifted her hips for me. Then, nothing. Just emptiness and deceit.

This wasn't just a game anymore. We were playing with fire.

The only problem was, who would be the first to put it out before we both turned to ashes?

Lara

They'll go back to town, only slowing down so as not to attract attention.

Squeezing the car door, I barely kept my sanity, not recognizing the wetness between my legs, the pounding of my heart or the longing for Paul . I got into the car and drove to the inn, relieved to see that Rose wasn't there when I parked and entered the lobby. She was probably out, tending to her flowers.

I took advantage, shivering, and ran upstairs to my room, hastily closing the door behind me before letting go.

I slumped against the door and slid to the floor, sitting down against the fluffy carpet. The tears came fast and fierce. I tried to tell myself, but my heart wouldn't let me. Something had been woven between us, something not visible, but tangible, and it had happened from the moment we met.

Paul undressed me with a look. He made me vulnerable. And if it hadn't been for the lie between us and the horrible act I had yet to perform, I would have let him fuck me, fuck me senseless, in the place that bore his name, a place he held dear.

Wiping away my tears, I reached for the pencils and pad I had brought from the store. Once I opened the wrapper, I allowed myself to pour out everything I felt onto the page.

My heart ached. I let my guard down and the pain settled in my chest.

Emotion poured out and sang, urging me to lose myself in my work.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I held them back. It was all nonsense. All of it. My uncle had gotten himself into this mess because he couldn't see beyond his own nose, always thinking of himself and how he could use me to his advantage. And now this.

But he took you in.

The pencil sketch changed shape, deepening on the page during the collision within me between my past and my present.

A vivid memory entered my mind.

"That asshole did that to you?" asked Spencer , pointing to the bruise on my wrist. A gift my boyfriend had given me for refusing to sleep with him.

"It's okay, Spencer ."

"It's not okay." He yanked open the trailer door. "I'll wring the bastard's neck."

"No," I pleaded, chasing after him. But through my tears, I couldn't follow him. Dejected, I followed him across the field, through the trees and into town, my pleas unheard.

Spencer entered the engine room. Embarrassment flooded my cheeks as I could do nothing but follow him helplessly, sticking to Spencer as he pushed his way through the crowd.

"You!" he yelled, grabbing Pete Slim by the neck , shaking him before slamming him against the wall.

"Uncle Spencer , no, please!". I grabbed his arm and he let go of Peter . But he stuck a finger under my boyfriend's nose.