C164 Grievances

Yee Fann stood leaning against a tree. He took off his sunglasses and looked at Qin Shu carefully. "Did you know? You have changed a lot over the years. If I had recognized you at first glance when we met again, we wouldn't have ended up like this. I wouldn't have let you suffer so much. In fact, I went to see you after the college entrance exam, and more than once. I asked your classmates and teachers, and they told me that there were a few students in their class with the surname Qin, but Qin Fen was not in their names. I waited in front of your classroom door for the class to start, and then I waited until the end of the class, but I did not see you. Then my parents took me on a trip, and when I got back to school it was already summer vacation, and I'd been around your house, but every time you wouldn't let me take you home, so when I looked at that familiar place, I didn't know where to find you. I might not have had such complicated feelings about you, but I wanted to say goodbye and leave a way to contact you."

Qin Shu took out the lollipop in his mouth, "You went to find me? When?"

Qin Shu did not know about this. He had always thought that after graduation, the senior would forget about him. He had even gone through a lot of trouble. He thought that Yee Fann was annoyed that he had been pestering the senior all this time, bringing him breakfast, and even asking Yee Fann to take him home in the afternoon. So, as soon as he graduated, Yee Fann immediately got rid of him.

"Just a few days after my exams. I don't remember what day it was, but it must have been close, because I told you before I went to the exams that I'd pick you up from school when I got back from my exams, until you were off for the summer, but I didn't find you, and in the end I couldn't wait because my parents were taking me on a trip." Yee Fann didn't expect to be separated from Qin Shu for seven or eight years. Otherwise, he would have delayed for a few days and continued to wait.

However, there were many things that could not be predicted.

"It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you my real name, but I was new to junior high, and I wasn't used to the new class, and every time my name was mentioned there was a roar of laughter. You were such a hero to me when you saved me and watched you beat away those ruffians, and I was afraid my name would make you laugh at me like they did, so I made up a name. Now that you mention it, I understand that I didn't lie to you about anything except my name. I was sick the day of your college entrance exam and took a week off from school." It never occurred to Qin Shu that Yee Fann had missed him because of his illness. Yee Fann had promised him that he would pick him up from school after the college entrance exam.

Yee Fann's college entrance exam ended in June, and their summer vacation only began in July. But Yee Fann hadn't shown up for a month from the time he got back to school. He never thought there would be so many reasons for this.

"So it was my fault. If I'd told you my real name, you'd have found out where I was and waited for me, wouldn't you?"

"How could I blame you? No one has been through what you have been through, so they can't understand how you feel. I was the one who didn't keep my promise to take you home, but I couldn't refuse my parents to take me on a trip so that I could relax after the exam. Well, we are reunited, aren't we? I have made mistakes again and again. I don't want to make any more mistakes, so please give me a chance." Yee Fann was clear that no matter who was right or wrong in the past, he couldn't go back in time and make up for his past mistakes.

All he could do was to catch this person in front of him and stop him from making any more mistakes.

"So, you came to confess to me because you knew I was Qin Fen?" If that was the case, then that was the last thing Qin Shu wanted to see. Back then, Qin Fen had grown up and he was now Qin Shu. If Yee Fann changed his opinion of him because of the good impression he had of him back then, then Yee Fann would still like the Qin Fen in his memory.

"I'm not a pedophile. You were twelve." Yee Fann didn't think he would like a twelve-year-old child like a beast, "But I have to admit that you existed in my memory for a long time, and I still can't forget about you. I even compared everyone who came close to me with you. Besides, I only found out that you were Qin Fen after confessing my feelings to you a few days ago, so I'm sure that I like you more now than I like my former junior brother, Qin Fen. The combination makes me want to cherish you even more. "

" How can I believe you? You didn't recognize me when we met again. Don't you have a bad impression of me? You think I lack a man, and I have a purpose to get close to you. Why do you still like me? " Yee Fann's liking still made Qin Shu unable to believe it. He had heard too many hurtful words from him and lost his confidence.

Seeing that Qin Shu didn't trust him and was panicking, Yee Fann was afraid that Qin Shu would run away from him again like last time. He quickly went forward and hugged him. He tried his best to tell Qin Shu his feelings, but Qin Shu still didn't understand. Yee Fann really wanted to cut open his heart and show him.

Yee Fann held him tightly, trying to make his heart feel the distance between them. "Actually, I really want to know why, but I just like you. No matter how bad my impression of you was before, I just like someone who makes me feel bad, and I selfishly want to have him to myself. No matter what kind of person you are now, I want to love you."

Qin Shu felt the corners of his eyes swelling, and his heart ached. He buried his head in Yee Fann's shoulder and said in a trembling voice, "Senior Yee, I'm not a rotten person. I'm not the young master of a bar. I didn't go around seducing men. I've liked you for a long time. I like you so much that after so many years, I can only accept you in my heart and no one else. That day in the bar, I didn't go with just anyone. I went home with him and slept with him. Because it was you, I recognized you at a glance. There is indeed a purpose for entering Anton. There is only one, and that is to get close to you. I want to tell you again and again that I am Qin Fen, but every time I meet your eyes that are filled with disgust and coldness, I feel afraid. I want to give up again and again, but every time I make a decision, it is cruel to myself. Why didn't you recognize me before? Even if you said that you only saw me as your junior brother and didn't like me, I might have given up. I wouldn't be in so much pain. "

Yee Fann stroked his hair, comforting him as he used to do when he was unhappy. "I know all this, I know everything you've done for me. I'm sorry, it's my fault."

"I don't want to hear sorry." Qin Shu suddenly pushed him away, grabbed his collar with both hands, and stared at him with red eyes. "I want you to kiss me."

Once, Qin Shu took the initiative to kiss Yee Fann, but he refused. Now, the only thing that could confirm Yee Fann's sincerity and make him feel at ease was this simple kiss.

When Yee Fann took his face in his hands and kissed his sweet lips without hesitation, his uneasy heart settled down like a ship that had sailed into a calm harbor.