C34 Chapter 34

VIOLA

I leave Lara’s office and take the subway home. I can’t stop thinking about Rick. How can the world be so small? Where is the justice in this world, I wonder? I meet the most gorgeous man in the world and we almost get it on before he tells me how skewed his views of love, relationships, and marriage are. Then, when I meet him again, he tells me he’s seeing someone. Why not me? Then in a matter of weeks, he goes from seeing someone to getting married?

I can’t believe it. I’m angry. It’s as if the universe keeps rubbing him in my face. You like him. You want to see him. You want to be with him. You can’t have him.

I’m so distracted in my thoughts I can’t find my keys. I search for them in my bag. My digging and scratching get more and more frustrated as I near my door. I’m so busy looking for my keys I don’t see him.

“I think it’s harder for men to find things in a woman’s handbag. We all agree those things are magical with endless bottoms, but I’ll try if you let me.”

I stop digging. I know that voice. What is he doing here? I give up and straighten meeting his eyes. I hold up my handbag and he takes it.

“I don’t normally dig in women’s handbags,” he smiles.

I say nothing but look away for a moment. Then he fishes out my keys and holds both the keys and my bag out to me. I take them both.

“Thanks.”

I brush past him and unlock my door. I step inside and he follows me but I block the entrance. “Sorry, did you want to come in?”

He stops. “I was hoping we could talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I say.

“C’mon Viola. Let’s just talk. Please?”

I look at him and then finally I sigh and leave the door open as I turn away and drop my bag on the floor. I kick my shoes off as he closes the door.

“The living room’s in there. I’ll put the kettle on and be back in a moment.”

I don’t wait for his reply but enter the kitchen, fill up the kettle and turn it on. Then I head to my bedroom and get changed. I’m so happy to get rid of my formal clothes and feel like I can breathe once I’ve got a pair of white shorts and tank top on. Then I return to the living room where Rick is looking at the ornaments on the shelves.

“Are these yours?” he asks when I enter the room.

“I told you this place is temporary. Do you think they’re mine?”

Rick shrugs and his face flushes red.

“Did you come to talk or appreciate the interior decorating?”

I sit down on a single-seater sofa and Rick takes his place on the three-seater opposite me. I pull my legs up onto the sofa and I see his eyes run over them quickly.

“I guess you know I’m getting married,” he says.

“I do.”

“I wanted to tell you when I got engaged. I thought it would be the decent thing to do.”

“Why? I’m not an ex-girlfriend.”

“I know. I don’t understand why. When I gave it some thought I asked myself the same question. I mean we’ve never actually dated so I couldn’t understand why I thought I should tell you. I even thought of inviting you. I don’t know why.”

“I wouldn’t have come,” I say bluntly.

“I thought so but… why?”

I smile despite myself. “If you thought I wouldn’t come why ask why?”

“I’m curious,” he says.

“Because of who you’re marrying,” I say.

“You know Christine?” Rick asks surprised.

“When you work in the industry you know the people that work in it,” I reply.

“You don’t like her. Why?”

For a moment, I’m tempted to tell Rick but then I decide not to. What happened between me and Christine has nothing to do with Rick.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s got nothing to do with you and her. I’m not going to say anything to try and change your mind. My differences are business-related. They’ve got nothing to do with her romantic life. And quite frankly your life has nothing to do with me.”

I hear the kettle switch off in the kitchen and get off the sofa. He watches me as I do.

“Coffee?” I ask.

Sure,” Rick nods. I head for the kitchen. He follows me and I get a fright when I realize he’s followed me.

“God, are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“No. Sorry. I just thought I could maybe help you.”

It’s just coffee,” Viola says as she brushes past me to the fridge. The kitchen is small and I’m in the way but I prefer to stay. She brushes past me with the milk and I catch her scent a second time. It’s intoxicating. She finishes with the milk and holds it out to me. “Care to put it back?”

“I don’t normally dig in woman’s fridges,” I reply.

She sighs and brushes past me again as she returns the milk to the fridge and I inhale her scent again. Then she stirs the coffee, leaves the teaspoon on the counter, and picks up one cup. She motions to the other. “That’s yours,” she says.

I step closer to where my mug is steaming away on the counter. I don’t reach for it though. I’m frozen, looking at her. She’s shorter than me and she’s barefoot which makes her even shorter than me right now. She looks up at me. Her eyes are asking, “What?”

I don’t answer but I drink in her scent and meet her hazel eyes. My eyes take in every feature of her face. Her eyelashes are long and her eyes innocent. Her nose is perfect. A little button nose, perfectly round. Her high cheekbones make her face look longer than it is but even so it’s perfectly proportioned in my opinion. Her lips are full, and just begging to be kissed. I want to kiss them and I remember the first night when I kissed her. I long for that moment again.

She holds my gaze and studies my face too. She swallows nervously.

I’m mad. I’m angry. He always does this to me. My inner voice says if he makes you angry, why are you standing here so close to him?

Shut up, I tell my inner voice. I am close. Too close. But I don’t want to move away. This is my kitchen, after all. My apartment. Well, not mine, but you know what I mean.

He’s gazing into my eyes and he’s close enough that I notice his eyes studying my face. They settle on my lips and I swallow. I lick my lips nervously before his eyes move down over my body.

I take my coffee and turn away. I move around the small island in the middle of the kitchen and head for the door. He watches me go and then picks up his coffee and follows me.

I lead the way to the living room and I’m pretty sure his eyes are on my ass. Why did I wear these shorts, I wonder?

I remain standing as I wait for him to sit down. He takes his seat on the sofa where he sat before. I should sit down on the single-seater where I sat before but instead, I sit down on the opposite end of the three-seater he is sitting on. I pull my legs up onto the sofa as I did before. I’m more comfortable that way.

His eyes follow my honey brown legs.

I know immediately I’ve made a mistake but I don’t want to fix it as much as I know I should. I don’t know why Rick is here. I don’t know why I let him in.

Deep down I know I’m lying to myself. I do know why I let him in. I do know why he is here, even if he doesn’t know it but I think on some level he does know.

“I’m sorry for everything,” Rick says at last. “I’m sorry for how our first night ended. I’m sorry I had to be the one to take legal action against you, I’m sorry I didn’t persist in contacting you, I’m sorry I…”

“Will you shut up?” I say.

He stops talking and looks at me.

“There’s no need to apologize. It’s all in the past. We can’t change it.”

“But you seem so angry with me. Every time we meet. I upset you. I can understand the first time we met, but the other times…”

“The other times…” As I start to say it my inner voice launches a screaming bout in my head, no, no, no! But it’s too late even as I realize it and I know this time my inner voice was right. “The other times had nothing to do with anything you did…” I trail off knowing I shouldn’t say more.

“What? What is it then?” he asks.

I look at him and sip my coffee trying to avoid answering. His eyes are fixed on me. He slides closer and I know I better answer.