C38 Chapter 38

VIOLA

We finish the meeting and we finish our coffee, but neither of us gets up to leave. We sit looking at each other making awkward small talk.

Rick finally decides to venture down the path we’ve been avoiding and I know it’s time to leave.

“Viola…”

“… don’t,” I cut him off. “Please. My job is to see you get married and that’s what I’m going to do.” I pack up my things and stand. “I’ll be in touch. Send me your guest list.” I turn and make my way to the cashier. I pay for our coffee and leave without looking back.

I hasten away from the coffee shop as I’m overcome with sadness. Tears well up in my eyes and run down my cheeks before I can stop them. I have no idea why I feel like this. I have never spent any decent amount of time with Rick to know if we might even be compatible in the long term. All we shared was a passionate moment at a wedding and then again at my apartment. It’s nowhere near enough. So why do I feel this way? Why am I crying my eyes out as if I’ve just lost the only person I’ll ever love? Why do I keep getting pushed back to him? Finally, my pace slows and I halt.

My inner voice whispers guiltily, you love him, don’t you? Why? How can you know? Do you want to go back? It’s all it takes. I turn around. I’m already two blocks from the coffee shop. I begin walking back.

I don’t care.

I’ll be honest with Rick.

I’ll be honest with myself.

I’ll lay my heart at his feet.

I begin to jog and then I’m running. I arrive at the coffee shop and pause for the briefest of moments before pushing the door open. The cashier looks at me. My makeup’s ruined but I don’t care what a mess I look like. I look to the table where we sat. It’s been taken already.

“He left already,” the cashier says guessing why I’ve returned.

“Thanks,” I sniff. I back out and close the door. My eyes sweep the street but I can’t see him anywhere. Well, that’s it. Let it be.

I walk back the way I’ve come and wipe my face trying to clean my make-up as best I can as I head for the nearest metro station. Go home and get this finished.

Lara is away from work for a long time. I run the business and keep her informed about the most important aspects only. I won't trouble her with the day-to-day running of the business. She doesn’t need to know about it. James isn’t improving at all. He’s been moved home and Lara has had changes made to their room to accommodate the care that he needs. It’s just too expensive to keep him at the hospital even though her business is doing well.

Lara tells me multiple times that I’m a blessing for her and that she doesn’t know what she’d do without me. I tell her not to worry. I’m only too glad to be able to help her.

Rick and I communicate via text message and phone calls mostly. It seems we’ve both agreed it’s best to stay away from each other. When we speak it’s purely business. There’s no small talk at all. Neither of us will open the door to any more opportunities for weakness. As the wedding nears though, there is one last meeting that I have to have with Rick. It can’t be avoided.

I’ve started working from Lara’s office since I think it’s more practical. I can communicate faster with her team and Sabrina this way.

Rick can only make it at seven in the evening. We planned to meet earlier but he has a last-minute meeting with a client that delays him.

I order pizza delivery because I’m hungry. I don’t know if he’s eaten but I order extra for him just in case he’s hungry. The wedding is just over a week away and this is the final meeting to confirm everything.

I finish my pizza and go through my notes again. I want to keep the meeting as short as possible. I pour us each a cup of coffee. As I do so I don’t hear Rick enter the office. He approaches me from behind and speaks when he’s right behind me. I shriek in surprise and turn, spilling the coffee all over his shirt and suit.

It takes me a moment to recover and then I lay my hands on his shirt. I can feel his strong chest under it. The shirt is hot and I realize the coffee must have been scolding.

“Oh, God. I’m so sorry!” I exclaim. Lara’s office has a mini kitchen and I grab a cloth, wet it under the tap, and then quickly start to wipe furiously at Rick’s shirt making it even wetter. The coffee stain lightens in color but the wet spot spreads as his shirt absorbs the water.

“I’m so sorry,” I exclaim again. By now his shirt is mostly soaked through and I can see the dark patches of his nipples. That and his muscles outlined against his soaked shirt are making me weak.

“It’s okay,” he says softly at last and covers my hand with his. It strikes me how small my hand is compared to his. I raise my eyes and meet his gaze. I’ve been avoiding it until now. And now it’s too late.

My eyes search his. I don’t remember much except that I’m on my toes in the next instant, kissing him. He doesn’t respond for a moment but then he reacts, and it’s not what I expected. He pushes me away. As he does so I hear a woman’s voice.

“You fucking skank!”

I look from Rick to the voice and I feel the blood drain from my face. It’s her. My worst enemy. Lara’s best friend. Christine. What is she doing here? The wedding’s supposed to be secret. My inner voice answers sarcastically, so you think because the wedding’s supposed to be secret you can kiss another woman’s man? You’ve really put your foot in it now.

I think I must look like a ghost. That or I’m about to burst into flame with shame.

Christine approaches rapidly and slaps me. Not once but twice, thrice…

I bring my hands up to protect my face.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Christine shouts. “I always knew you were from the wrong side of the tracks. When I’m finished with you, you’ll be back there and you’ll never make it back to this side. Even if you do, I’ll see to it that you don’t drag your trash along with you. Now get out!”

I drop my hands and look at her and then at Rick whose face is red.

“Get out!” Christine shouts.

I run and grab my bag and leave Lara’s office as fast as I can. It’s only when I’m in the elevator that I cry. I cringe and castigate myself. What the hell did you think you were doing? Fear rises in me and I feel sick. I know I’m done for. My career is finished. I have betrayed Lara’s trust and if she has to choose there’s no question about the choice she’s going to make. I want to vomit right there in the elevator. I wish I could go back and fix what I did, take the moment back. I pull out my phone and unlock it. I think it’s better if I tell Lara myself. She doesn’t need to hear this, not with her problems. She trusted me and I betrayed it.

I leave the building and call a cab. I get in the back seat and look up Lara’s number. I dial her number and wait anxiously for her to answer. She doesn’t answer.

I start typing a message and then decide a voice message will be better.