C4 "Trust and Turmoil"

She wasn’t really happy with the way things were going between them, because she knew God wasn’t happy with her, but she was just madly in love with the guy, she will say. So there was nothing her weak self could do. “What if something happens and he dumps me” she often did ask herself that period, but just the thought of it would send shivers down her spine, and she would end up saying “GOD FORBID”.

He was equally her neighbor that period, which really made the closeness irresistible and there really wasn’t a way she could avoid him.

Bella, her best friend, was also not helpful when she finally confided in her, but she really didn’t blame her, because she equally wasn’t experienced even though she behaved like a big girl……“Is he cheating on you?” she had asked Jane. “No” she replied. “Is he stingy?”. “No”

“Does he hide anything from you?”. “No”

“So what’s hard in rewarding him with your body, it’s not as if you are losing anything, moreover you aren’t a virgin anymore, and even if you stop having it with him from now till you die, you still won’t be a virgin again, free yourself and enjoy it” she had advised, while Jane stared at her and said nothing,

She kept on thinking and pondering on that statement she uttered. She has won her weak-self with that, and she agreed with her cause the mistake has been done already (peer influence).

But then the more she gave Jackson her body, the bolder he became in demanding for more and it just looked as if he was trying to have it all before graduating, which really astonished her. She knew she would still be there for him no matter where he went, but she guess he didn’t trust her and she never knew he had other plans in his mind as he turned her into a love making machine.

It soon got to a stage where she couldn’t take the rubbish act anymore, and surprisingly it led to there first fight.

As these memories flashed back in her mind, her body shook as she cried deeply.

The memory really was so painful cos it was the first time a guy laid his hands on her.

It all happened one fateful evening when they were together in his room, he carried her on his laps and started his foolish act on her. “Baby you smell nice” he said to her while she blushed, and truthfully Jackson really is a master of sweet words which he always used on her. (That was her greatest weak point)

“What is it baby? Sit up” he said as he drew her hand in order for her to sit up but she refused, which left him extremely surprised. “what is the matter?” he asked “I can’t do it” she replied, and he smiled.

He was surprised, he asked why? “I won’t cos i don’t like it” she said arrogantly, while he stared at her as she got up from his bed and dressed up. His eyes burned furiously as he watched her.

“Baby why are you so selfish?” he finally asked,(what a foolish statement she wondered). “You are the one very selfish all you now know is this rubbish act, just see how skinny you have become” she replied with a hurtful tone, which really was a big mistake and it earned her two powerful slaps on her face while he held her jaw and stared at him in shock and disbelief…OMG!

She stared at him angrily and in shock for a while, before rushing back to her room in tears.

“Baby I’m sorry” she heard him apologize as he followed her but she shut her door and locked it before he could enter. She really was so hurt that day cos she never believed Jackson would ever lay his hand on her.

Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she remembered how she felt that day. “Why am i even remembering all these?” she asked herself as she cleaned my eyes, but then it was her feelings for Lawrence which was bringing her past experience back to her head, and she had no control over it.

She soon heard a steady knock on her door, which brought her out from her thoughts. She immediately composed herself as she went to open the door and when she opened it, there stood Lawrence with a smile on his gentle face, and he peered into the dark room.

“Are you still sleeping? It’s almost 7:45pm” he asked while Jane forced a smile.

“Actually i wasn’t even sleeping ” she replied as she yawned, switched on her bulb and allowed him in. He entered, looked around for a while before staring at her again. she tried to hide her face by looking down, but his sharp eyes noticed the dull face and red eyes.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked seriously and with care, while she sat on her bed and looked away, he was soon beside her and he held her hands tenderly.

“Please what is it, maybe i could be of help?” he asked, while she forced a smile. “Don’t worry it’s nothing” she replied, but he just shook his head. “I don’t believe you, moreover nobody cries over nothing” he insisted. “Lawrence it’s nothing serious, i just remembered someone i used to care for” she explained and he smiled. “OK, I now understand, so where is he?” he asked but she just gave him a blank look.

“Why do you want to know?” she asked back as she rolled her eyes, which made him to smile and shrug. But then her retort didn’t put him off, instead he drew closer to her and looked into her eyes.

“Sweetheart a problem shared is a problem solved, moreover sharing your story with a friend sometimes helps to reduce tension and bad feelings, and i equally promise to share my own story with you when you are done with yours” he said to her fearlessly, while she looked at him silently as she battled within her mind whether to share her secret with him or not. she thought to herself that no matter her feelings for him, he still is a boy and might use it against her in future, but the way he stared at her really showed that he cared and the sparkle in his eyes were very real and filled with love. Her eyes melted again and she burst into tears while he held her in his arms and consoled her.

“It’s okay baby” he said with his gentle voice, and truthfully she didn’t know how she felt that moment cos it has been a long time a guy held her in that manner.

His arms were comforting and she really felt like sleeping in them when he held her, but then she equally didn’t want to appear vulnerable or weak to him and so she managed to control and keep herself in check by drying her eyes.

“It’s okay everything happens for a purpose, what are you going to eat tonight?” he asked, while she said nothing. “I have soup, i can make garri for you” he said, which made me to laugh.

“Thanks Lawrence, you are a nice guy but don’t worry, i will drink tea with my biscuit” she replied, while he shrugged in resignation.

“Don’t worry once I'm done with my night bath i will come and spend an hour with you” she said to him, when she finally composed herself and stopped her tears that evening. He stared at her as if he was reading her mind through her eyes.

“Do you promise? Cos i can’t wait to hear your story?” he asked, while she smiled and nodded.

“Yea i promise” she replied, before he stood up and left in order to give her space to take her bath.