C3 Sorrow

How could I...

How could I have forgotten my own brother's death anniversary...

I remembered it before I fainted in school.

Maybe I lost track of time for a moment when I passed out and stayed two days in the hospital.. but that ain't ever be the excuse..I'm so dumb ugh! I should die..I should die!

So, that's why Oliver was acting like this. Now, I'm even disgusted with myself.

Cole...

Cole and Devin were best friends since they were kids, resulting in me and Oliver to eat and play together when we were young.

They were both 20 years old when they passed away in a car crash, which was reported to be as drunk driving. Cole was the driver at that time. I didn't know how to react to that. As far as I know, Cole wasn't such an irresponsible person.

His existence towards me, was like a mother who died after my birth. He filled the gap of my heart which needed a mother's love.

Oliver hated me to the guts for it, for my brother killing his brother. It all happened when I was in the hospital at that time. I couldn't remember well, but my dad told me that I fell from a tree.

A long time had passed.. I still remembered Cole and Devin's faces. Devin would come over to play games while annoying the hell out of me. He was a good friend and a good brother to Oliver, taking him over whenever they hang out and taking us along when they went out to eat.

After all, I couldn't change Oliver's opinion about me and Cole taking away his brother from him since Cole was the only one who was reported to have the alcohol in his system.

There were so many things I didn't understand, yet I had no idea whom to ask either.

My house and Oliver's were just two blocks away, so we had already arrived while I was lost in my own thoughts. I went into the yard absentmindedly when I realized my dad's car was already here. He was early today.

"Dad?" I called out as soon as I stepped into the house. Uncle Joe, our housekeeper, came out and greeted me, "Aria, you are back."

Uncle Joe was my father's age and he had been here since I was very little. So, we were very familiar as I regarded him as my uncle. "Uncle, where's dad?"

That was when I heard the sound of glass clinking from the dining room. "He's in the kitchen."

I strode into the kitchen to see my dad sitting in front of the round table, with a glass and a bottle of whiskey on it. I sighed heavily, seeing him like this made me feel a dull pain.

"Dad?" I called out in a low voice.

He turned his head and gave me a small smile, "Aria, you are back?"

"Dad, how much have you drunk already?" I asked and sat beside him.

"Not much, I just got back." Yet, I could see the bottom of the whiskey bottle. Thank god, it's not a big one.

"I will accompany you." I said, taking another glass from the side.

"Aria, what-no. You are not allowed to drink." He pressed my glass, and spoke in a stern voice.

"Why not? I'm almost 18!" I argued back.

"What does that have to do with anything? It doesn't matter if you are 18 or 30, you can't drink." He took away my glass and gripped the bottle tight.

I laughed at that.

"I'm sorry about this..." he started, his voice a bit slurred, "I just... I guess I still can't accustomed to the silence in the house whenever I come back. It's like the most important part of me has been ripped away from me and I..I still can't face it well." It was only on these types of days he would be like this and I blinked repeatedly to keep my tears in.

"I'm sorry, Aria. I know that I haven't been a great father to you all along..I have been distracted and.."

"No, dad. It's fine, I understand..I understand everything." I interrupted, my voice trembling slightly. He had lost his wife and his son in a short period of time. I know nothing could make up that loss, that empty void in his heart. I know he wanted to be here for me, but his scars hadn't healed yet and there was no way he could be there for me, at least mentally. It was okay even if he was out, working all day. It was okay if there was less interactions between us. I was just thankful that he was hanging on.. for the sake of himself and for the sake of me. I wanted him to be happy, but I don't know how to help him besides being there for him.

"I just want you to be happy and live well," I said in a low voice. In fact, my voice came out as begging, begging him to hang on. I was afraid that I would lose my only family suddenly when I woke up one day. But, I know that he was strong enough and that's what I was relieved about.

"The same goes for you, too." He gave a grateful smile at me and rubbed my head before standing up and wobbled towards his bedroom.

"Have you caught em?"

"Fucker, hurry up! We are dead if boss knew about this."

Who? Who is this? Why is here very dark? I can't see anything.

"We.. the kids over here. Find a way to tell..little shits..this. I will kill em if..don't-" So familiar.

"Ahhhh mmh." Suddenly, a boy screamed as if he was in pain.

-I know that voice. That voice is...

Oliver?

It sounded like Oliver's voice. What's going on? I moved my body in panic, trying to get up from the chair I was in. How was I suddenly on a chair? But, my body couldn't move, it's like I was bounded by something.

"Ahhhhh" The scream continued to echo in the pitch-black place I was in.

'Wait! Stop! Don't hurt him!

Somebody help!' I screamed but only the muffled voices reverberated in my ears as I struggled.

At that moment, I felt the sudden strike on my back and the cold and hard surface of something chilled into my bones.

My body began to shake violently as if something or someone was grabbing me and at that moment, I screamed in pain, "Ahhhh!"

The sight which met me before my eyes was my dim room in which some sunlight rays could be seen through my curtains. My head was ringing and there was some murmuring voice beside my head. I turned my head to see our housekeeper, Auntie Gina, staring at me with concerned eyes as she called my name, "Aria?"

"What happened..." my voice came out in a hurried breath.

Helping me to prop myself up, Auntie Gina touched my sweat soaked forehead and said, "I guess you had a nightmare. You were screaming and so, I came to wake you up."

"I was hearing voices."

"It's okay now, it's okay." Her soothing voice comforted me nonetheless.

"Will you go to school today?" She asked.

"Um..yeah. Has dad gone?"

"Yes, Mr. Johnson left early this morning. If you are going, you should start preparing yourself or you might be late."

I nodded, "okay."

At that moment, my phone rang on my bedside table and I took it to see who it was. It was none other than my dumb best friend, Clara, calling me. Now, you have the nerve to call me.

"Who is this?" I spoke in a flat tone.

"Sorry about yesterday. I wasn't in my right mind." Her voice was low as she replied.

Now, I was getting worried. "What happened? You and Alec both didn't come to school yesterday."

Clara and Alec were both my best friends who betrayed me and seemed to 'elope' together yesterday.

I heard her sighing in frustration and said, "It's a long story. By the way, are you okay? I remember what today is. Will you come to school?"

"Yeah, I will."

"Okay, see you there then." Then, she hang up the phone.

Sitting on the bed, I wondered if Oliver would go to school. Most likely not. I remembered he took a day off on this kind of day. I wanted to accompany him, but..I didn't want to make his day more devastated.

I didn't know if it was my subconscious, knowing what day today was, but I felt some kind of dull pain in my heart. I breathed in the oxygen heavily once before exhaling it in a huff. Then, I got up to start preparing as I took my pajama off in the reflection of the mirror.

Then, I turned around to go into the bathroom when I saw my back in the mirror out of the corner of my eye. The skin on my back was littered with old scars and the remnants of faded bruises while there was an old deep, shallow scar in the left side of my back. They were all the scars from the time when I fell from the tree. I fell directly into the bush where there were sharp sticks sticking out. I traced my fingers onto my ugly looking skin and couldn't help thinking that why the hell did I climb onto a tree at that time.

You deserved it. I rolled my eyes at myself in the mirror.