C8 FEELINGS: UNREQUITED LOVE

…

"Why is it whenever you walk out of the door, my heart breaks into tiny little pieces, my energy dipping way colder than the Antarctic ocean, and I get this gnawing feeling at the pit of my stomach, telling me, reminding me, killing me, and mocking me with the fact that even though I always see you, that even though you are always here, it doesn't means that you'll ever be mine....

"What does it feels like to express true pain, heartbreak that felt like it had vowed to crush you, it was a feeling that I knew too well"

….

CATHERINE P.O.V

…

"Why did you ever tried to act tough?"

"Look at what you have done now you fool!"

"What freaking demon possessed you to yank his hands away?"

With more unhelping, self blaming thoughts finding it way up to my mind, I looked at him guiltily as he helped me up from the floor, as well as himself. Helping me up from the glassy titled floor, my shaking dull shaded green eyes darted to his face immediately, before popping widely, as I saw how the side of his forehead was bruised, more like cut, with a smear of his red blood, that was all because of no other person but me.

I was the cause of his bleeding, I alone was the cause of his pain, yet I wanted him to treat me right..."In your fucking dreams"

I heard my mind mockingly whisper to me, as I felt a sick and guilty feeling in my stomach that was keen on making literally pass out, but not out of fear like I would have before, but it was rather out of the pain, and pure torture that I felt as I saw his blood, even though I wasn't the one that was bleeding.

"Sir, madam, are you alright?" Coming sharply from the side, a group of workers came rushing over to us as a result of the tragic embarrassing fall, but what ended up to be the most strangest thing was how he ignored all of his workers concerns curtly, only to focus his gaze on me, and direct the question to me instead.

"Are you alright?"

With his dark shaded blue eyes fully focused on me, before using it to inspect my body for any bruise or cut, he said concerningly, more like innocently that to say I felt like I was daydreaming, and stuck in another dream state was an understatement, rather all I found myself doing was popping my eyes out and lifting my eyebrows up in an awfully tensed way, that I knew and needed no one to tell me that my face would have looked like a perfect lost startled cartoon, cause hearing him actually say that felt like I wasn't the one that he was referring to.

I would have just easily told and convinced myself that the only reason he had said that was because of the presence of his workers and in order to keep the act, but deep down, I didn't wanted to believe that, rather I had actually wanted to stay in my fantasy and make-believe that his words were genuine, and maybe it was because I was tired of killing myself by reminding myself that to him I would forever remain as a trash.

No, I wanted to live in the lie, or should I say little joy, but in the end it didn't last, rather the worst part of it all was that I didn't realize that I had frozen in that shock dreamy manner until he placed his left warm palm on my face to bring me back to life

"I asked you if you were alright, but I guess you are...you clumsy idiot!" Directing his words to me, this time he said, more like swore at me silently in a pissed frustrated tone, that made me immediately realize just how irritating I was being to him.

"What are you doing you fool, can't you see his hurt"

Hearing his pissed remark to me, my inner conscience whispered to me as I finally brought myself out of my frozen state, before immediately looking at his face, and at his stained forehead

"You are bleeding"

Shifting my gaze back to his forehead, before looking back at his face, I said stating the obvious, before realizing that it was stupid and only made him more pissed off, but before I could change my words into something less dumb, he moves closer to me, and grabs my hand tightly, before pulling me away from his employees who had been standing idle and watching our show all along.

Where he was taking me to?, I had no clue about, rather all I knew and suspected was that wherever he was taking me to, the outcome would be him yelling and lashing out at me, and I wasn't wrong when I said that, cause immediately he took me a secure away from everyone place which happening to be a secluded little office room, all I could do was watch as he pulled me inside, locked the door shut, before shifting his cold gaze back to me

"Tell me "Mrs. Ash", what do you think of yourself?" With his full gaze back to me, he said without sparing a moment, and emphasizing the word "Mrs. Ash" with pure disdain, contempt, and irritation, that it made a lump immediately gather around my throat. But like he have always been, he was less concerned about my shivering state, rather he was back to his cold hearted way, that stopping his awful piercing words to spare me was not a word in his dictionary.

"I asked you a question!" Bringing me out of my scared thoughts again, this time he started to move closer to me with every single word that came out of his lips, that it felt, more like it was clear to me that he was getting more furious and angrier than ever before, a anger from the demon, a anger that I wanted no part of, and to say that he had been swallowing all his rage within himself from the moment we landed the ground was an understatement, rather it felt like he was going to explode, and I?, I was sadly always his target

"Tell me, do you really think that I don't know that you love seeing me lose it?"

He yells, makes tears swell up in my eyes, and moves another step forward

"That watching me bleed gives you pleasure...?" And then again, another step that I come in contact with the awfully cold wall, but this man didn't stop, nor did he ever for once reconsider that all of his words kept on wounding me badly, cause it was nothing but accusations and lies.

Yes, it was true that I yanked his hand away from me because I was angry, but I didn't mean for him to come tumbling down the stairs with me, and ever getting hurt, even though he has always been cruel to me like this, but in the end, no matter how I tell him that, I already knew he would never believe me, rather it might only had more fuel to the fire, and make it more hotter than it already was.

"NO!, I would keep my mouth shut" I tell myself, so in the end, I kept on enduring his cruel words that always kept on killing ever single life in me.

"Do you really think this is funny, huh?" With his dark eyes glued on my shaking ones, he moved a step closer to I that was literally praying that the wall should open and swallow me up, but even though my legs kept on trying to get away from him even though I was in a dead end, and even though my eyes were misty with another round of hot tears that kept on making my cheeks red with blood, still and more like strangely and somewhat foolishly, all my attention kept on drawing back was the side of his forehead that was smeared with his slowly drying blood, that in the end, and despite his words that were capable of breaking any human being into crumbs, seeing his forehead repeatedly made my lips do something that I rarely and mostly never do anytime he was this mad: I parted my lips, and hesitantly and slowly spoke back to him

"You...Mr. A...Ash, you...your head is bleed...bleeding"

Parting my lips, and trying to get out of my fearful shell, I said, rather I stammered to him in hope that it could calm him down, but all he does as soon as he heard me utter the words out to him, was scoff out frustratedly, before locking his dark shaded blue eyes even more intensely with mine.

"Tell me Mrs. Ash, aren't you the one who caused this at the first place?" Raising one of his fingers up and pointing it on the side of his forehead as if to lay emphasis, he said looking at me as he frowned his lips, and squeezed his face more pissed than ever, that made me conclude that no matter what I say, all it does is make him mad with boiling fire, that I couldn't be able to extinguish.

"I...I..." Realizing another burning reality, I started to stammer as my illness started to act up again, cause up until this point, I haven't been able to successfully take my drugs, and the saddest part of it all, was the more I wasted time, the more worst it becomes for me.

"Maybe today is the day you'll actually finally die Catherine" Mockingly, my mind said to me as sweat drops kept on dropping from my head....

"You don't know how much I hate you Catherine"

…And instead of him to have at least a little bit of sympathy, instead those words were all I heard from his reddish lips, as if wanting for me to not only feel the emotional pain, but also what it actually feels like to burn. He said.... he yelled mercilessly hitting his right hand on the wall, to the extend that the tears that I was trying so hard to prevent from dripping, began to flow helplessly down my cheeks, that I had to close my dull green shaking eyes to stop them from flowing even more, but as soon as I opened them back, my teary now puffy eyes back diverted to the side away from the demon's gaze, and I see a box of first aid kit, and realized that it could be my only way out...