Hate Me/C10 Broken
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Hate Me/C10 Broken
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C10 Broken

My phone has not stopped ringing so I decide to pick it up.

Initially, I love Rema a lot. I mean a whole lot, but I don't swoon over him like some of my friends.

I usually sing why by Rema because I can and I handle the high parts well. Although I sing what doesn't make sense where I don't hear or understand what he is saying.

Although, right now, at this very moment, the lyric of the song sinks into my heart like butter on hot bread.

The song suits my mood perfectly so I leave my phone to ring one more time.

Then I pick;

Faith's voice comes blaring through the speaker and she sounds tense and worried.

"Girl, where have you been? If you wanted to give someone a heart attack, did it have to be me?" She screams into the phone.

I can perfectly picture her speaking through her teeth and her silly expressions and gesticulations as she always does when frustrated.

This image warms my heart and causes me to give a little chuckle.

"I am at the football field." I simply reply.

"What? Since when did you become a football fan? And What are you doing? Tryouts there alone with the teacher? " she replies both jokingly and in astonishment.

"Well, a few minutes ago, I was sure I was gonna love football even more than I currently do, but right now, sitting here... I have just realized how much I hate the sport. " I reply and give the most hearty laughter I could muster.

I do love football to an extent. I mean having four older brothers can't go to waste in a girl's life.

I am a Manchester United fan. My lock screen saver is their logo and my favorite catchphrase is their slogan; 'The red devils'

And if Victor had told me he felt for me the same way I did for him, I would have loved football much more.

But right now, I'm not so sure I'm ever gonna come near a football field. At least not this one and that too not at night.

"You know girl, sometimes I don't get you. You're a living puzzle. "She replies.

"Hmmm. Living puzzle ey? Now, that's a new one. " I reply this time laughing from the heart.

"Okay. Edna and I would be there soon. Just give us a few minutes." she says

"Oooh. Take your time, no rush. " I reply with a smile although I know she can't see me.

No doubt. Being with the girls would make me feel better, but I want to fully absorb every single detail about this moment.

From the sudden heavyweight, I feel in my chest, to the dryness in my throat, to the chirping of the crickets, to the desire to cry but lack of tears, to the replay of Victor's cruel words in my mind, to the wet grass due to the night's dew, to my trembling hands, to the cloud of embarrassment looming over my head.

To question if I was able to mask my pain well enough, and finally to the rate at which my heart is beating.

I want to savor it all. As I had just allowed what I shouldn't have, to happen and Faith's words and warnings did come to pass.

I remember this one time when we art students had a free period and we were all talking before a teacher called me and I took about five minutes to be done running the errands.

Feyi later told me that Victor put all forms of discussion on hold till I returned, and then I remember his first day and how he kept holding my hands and all...

It just makes me wonder why led me on if you didn't feel the same? Why all those acts of jealousy when I got too close to other boys?

It's something between us both as we never let anyone see us or understand the little games we play with each other. Like what I did to Nathaniel on the bus... And he to Silvia and other girls.

It was a game plan and the end goal was to crush, hurt, and embarrass me?

I am drawn out of my Reverie by Faith's voice;

" What are you thinking girl? You didn't even hear us coming. " Faith asks and states.

"I guess I was just thinking about football," I reply with a smirk and look up at her.

She takes one look at my eyes and despite the darkness, she knows something is wrong. What a best friend.

She and Edna sit on both sides

"Jade, are you alright? "she asks me.

"Sure... Why are you asking? "I reply whilst looking into the darkness far ahead.

"Well for one you are talking strange and your eyes are glossy. You have been crying. "She states

"I'm cool babe... I'm just in my feelings." I lie.

For some reason, I don't feel like telling her what just happened today. I can feel the heat in my chest... And I feel a wall of tears build up in my eyes.

They know I am not alright and not willing to talk so Edna pulls me into A tight, warm polar bear hug. She is quite huge so she is the perfect cuddle buddy.

I let my guard down and I just let the tears flow. My sobs are audible.

"Darling, are you truly okay? " Edna questions.

"Yh I am. " I replied between sobs.

"You know your crying right? "Faith questions more like she's stating.

"Yh... I do... I am just glad I've got great friends like you guys." I reply.

I didn't tell a lie, I am indeed grateful to God for bringing them into my life. That's why I am crying... Coupled with what Victor just did to me.

"Aww. " Faith replies and joins mine and Edna's cuddle. Making it a group hug.

After a few minutes of endless rambles from all three of us, we decide it's getting cold and we should get going into our hostel.

As we are walking, we are almost at our hostel when I sight Victor's gang.

Silvia isn't there. Probably sleeping In her room already. Victor is talking before he sights me. He takes a brief pause but keeps talking as though didn't see me.

Our eyes meet and we do not break eye contact. Even after we have passed him, I still turn around to look at him and he is still staring at me.

The lights at the entrance of the hostel are very bright so he must have seen my eyes and known I was crying.

Faith, Edana, and I reach our room and I head for the bathroom to take a shower.

I love water to the point that it somehow helps wash some of my pain and lift some of my problems.

While in the shower, I think about the night and all Victor said.

Just like there was a recorder in my head when he said it, his words flood my mind over and over and just keeps coming.

I thank God I did not have an attack when he told me this.

It would be the most embarrassing moment of my life if I collapsed and started gasping for air in front of my crush after told me he feels nothing for me.

When I come out of the bathroom, I change into my pajamas and join Edna and Faith's discussion.

After some time, Faith looks at me and asks in a commentator's accent and voice.

"Baby girl, you've got something on your mind you wanna erase and shake off? "

"Yeah, " I reply with utmost honesty.

"Then y'all should get ready to meet my friend. He has a lot of older siblings but I chose to bring him cause I knew he would be meeting Lil innocent kids like Jade tonight," she says still maintaining her commentator's voice.

Edan and I give each other puzzled looks as we both have no idea what faith is talking about or up to.

"Don't be confused, my dear friends... A grand guest deserves a grand entrance. " she continues her commentator stunt and gesticulates like one introducing an act in a circus show.

Edna and I sit patiently and I for one want to see where this is headed.

Faith walks towards her bag and dips her hand into it;

"Ladies and gentle girls..." she giggles at how odd it sounds and Edan as well as I can't hold back our laughter.

"Can you give a round of applause for... Mr. No worries" she says as she drags a very captivating bottle from her bag.

Edna's face brightens up and she increases the way she is clapping while I just stare in astonishment.

It's alcohol. On the bottle is the name 'Lamb $ Watt Cherry Brandy' Carefully scribbled on the bottle amongst the other writings on it.

I have never drunk alcohol before. For one I am scared of how much I would reveal when drunk, as I have managed to bury a lott of emotions and dirty truths at the buttom of my heart, and drinking alcohol, might just make them resurface and I don't want that... At all.

Then... I fear getting addicted to it cause if I get relief from it once, I'm sure I'm gonna go back to it. Over and over again as there is almost always something wrong in my life.

Faith looks at me and tells Edana, loud enough so I could hear.

"Look... The little girl is weighing her choices. "

I roll my eyes and reply;

"Faith, you know I don't drink alcohol so don't even try your luck."

"Oh, I am already trying my luck and you should just... I don't know... Come out of your shell and stop being a big baby. I mean... It's not even black label or Baileys Delight.. " she replies.

I lay on my back and let my head hang off the foot of my bed so I could see them.

" No, thank you" I simply reply.

"I know there's something on your mind, and this would help wipe your worries away, but boo... Your choice... You're missing out. " she says as she draws two plastic cups out of her bag.

Yup... She came prepared.

"Just one shot won't hurt sis. If you don't like how you feel after that, you can drop it. We won't force you." Edna says as she looks at me with puppy dog eyes.

I know I can stand my ground if I want to, but truth be told, I want something to help me. Help me block out Victor's words from my head and sleep better.

"Okay. " I finally give in.

"Now you're talking! " Faith remarks and pulls out an extra plastic cup from her bag.

Yup... Well prepared.

She pours a shot into each cup and we take one each.

I cringe as I bring the cup to my nose as the smell reminds me of menthol spirit.

I can feel as its heat burns down my throat, through my chest, and into my stomach. I like this sensation... And I feel like a part of the heaviness in my chest earlier has been burnt through.

I ask for another shot and then Another and before I know it, I've had seven shots.

While Edna and Faith have only had two each.

My eyes are lazy, but I feel so energetic and I want to use up all the energy in me so I can get some sleep, but with this much vigor and life in me, I can equally stay awake till tomorrow morning.

I walk to my bag and pull out my ballet wear but without the tutu. Then I take one of Edna's hoods. I'm sure she would not mind.

I feel like dancing but if I play songs here, I would wake my two friends who are on the floor sprawled over each other.

The weather has drastically become cold again. This harmattan weather comes with a lot of surprises.

I am drunk but I still know my friends need cover from the cold. Hence, I grab a bedsheet and place it over them.

I walk to the door and I feel a bit giddy when I take hold of the door handle, but I soon come back to myself and walk out of the room.

I use my key to lock the door from outside as all of us have our keys to the room.

I stagger, drag my feet and crash into things till I reach my destination. Which is the camp display hall.

I have been given a key to the hall so I can go there whenever I want to and no one except the teachers can stop me.

I encounter no one on my way to the hall as it is very late and everyone has most likely gone to bed.

I wonder if Victor can have a sound sleep after what he just did to me or if he is equally not able to sleep and is trying to wear himself out so he can sleep.

I insert the key into the keyhole and open the door. I then drag the key out and stuff it in my pocket as I walk into the hall and slam the door behind me.

The camp display hall is like a cinema. With the same chair arrangements but the only difference is; in place of a big screen, there is a big mirror and the two LG. Flat-screen televisions. Hanging at both sides of the room so people can watch the performance of those on the stage.

I walk down the stairs and straight to the stage.

The room is soundproof so no matter how much noise one makes inside, you can only be heard outside if the door is open.

There are no windows but rather fans and air conditioners.

The only lights left on are those meant to brighten up the stage and I do not turn on the lights as I love the way the rest of the room Is dark.

The darkness gives me some kind of confidence and so I leave the room the way it is.

I climb onto the stage and take off Edna's hood. Revealing my ballet wear which is tightly hugging my body but is still flexible enough for me to perform stunts in.

I sit on the floor, adjust my ballet shoes and do a few stretches.

When I get back on my feet, I sway back and forth as the effect of the alcohol is still strong in my system.

I turn on the MP player and connect my phone.

Like I said earlier, I am not a pretty good dancer but I still try my best.

I choose the song I want to dance to and This Is What You Came For By; Calvin Harris ft Rihanna fills the air.

I love this song and for some reason, it feels like the right song for my current mood and vibe.

I want to feel confident and happy although I'm shattered and hurt.

I honestly don't know how to start or what to start with. So I just let the alcohol take over.

I can feel it run through my veins.

My moves become and more violent when I hear Victor's words re-echo in my head...

I dance this way to try to shove his words to the back of my mind or better still block them out.

I have no idea what I am doing, but my body Is bending in ways I never knew it could.

I feel like I am possibly working on a hiplet.

Tears stream down my face as I dance. I'm dancing with anger and I am just trying to make myself forget what happened.

I can still feel the alcohol's presence strongly In my system.

Towards the end of the song, I throw a backflip and land on a split.

A stunt I never thought I could pull and know will never try when sober.

I stop dead in my tracks when I hear someone give a round of applause from the dark portion of the room.

I gulp as I had not imagined or thought anyone would be watching me during this display of madness and emotions through dance.

I remain in the spilt position waiting for the person to show him /herself.

My heartbeat intensifies as I anxiously wait to see who has just witnessed my display.

I have a sigh of relief as Nathaniel comes into the light.

He is still clapping and looking at me in utter disbelief.

I know I have to get up for courtesy's sake but the alcohol is taking over and wants me to remain on the floor. So I stay put.

He climbs onto the stage, walks up to me. Standing beside me and looking down at me ;

" you never told me you were such a good dancer." He says

" I never knew I was " I reply amidst pants as I try to steady my breathing.

" So was that a hiplet you were working on? "He asks

" I don't know I guess that's a question for the alcohol to answer " I reply lazily closing my eyes and feel the alcohol burn in my system.

It feels like a little candle has been lit in my abdomen and I love the fiery Sensation I get from it and the warmth is just another level of satisfaction.

"Do you still want to dance? " He questions.

"There's still enough energy in me for one more dance. " I reply as I open my eyes to look at him.

Our eyes meet and he doesn't break eye contact which just makes the whole situation a little awkward so I close my eyes back and he smiles. He walks towards the MP player and picks up my phone;

" what's your password? " he questions.

" Jaina " I reply.

no one knows Jaina is my password I haven't even told Faith.

The truth is, although I am fighting with Dina, I miss her company a lot.

Jaina was our code name. Formed by us when we were in Junior year one and I held onto it even though we are fighting.

That's why I used it as my password. Initially, I won't have told him that is my password but the alcohol is beginning to make me speak and that's just what I feared. Speaking irrationally. The alcohol has started pushing words out of my mouth.

I try my best to remain silent and only talk when I'm being spoken to.

" Jaina, hun? what's that? " he interrogates.

"It's the combination of mine and Dina's name." The alcohol answers for me again.

I have got to get a hold of myself else tonight might be a nasty Moment of Truth for me.

"I thought you guys are not on Talking terms." He is becoming too nosy and pesky. Something I would have addressed if I wasn't drunk.

He knows I am intoxicated and is drawing out as much as possible from me.

I would address that when I'm sober, but right now the alcohol has the upper hand so I just answer any question he asks me.

" Yeah we are not on talking terms but truth be told, I miss that bi*ch a hell lot. I really do miss her company and the good old times.

So I chose to keep the effing password as a memory. Just a random act" I reply with my eyes still shut.

The room falls silent and all I hear are his footsteps coming towards me. I Open my eyes to find him standing above me.

All ah wanna say is pls vote and comment y'all... Aider Cares💓✌💝

Stick around for the updates💖💖

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