C2 His Woman

A tear dripped from my eye. Cedrick was now gone out of my sight. Umalis sya na parang wala kaming ginawa, na parang wala syang kasama.

Pinilig ko ang ulo ko at pinunas ang luha. Nag-iinit ang dibdib ko at par

Why am I crying? Am I expecting more to him aside of sex? No. You should not Sherin. Who are you? Who are you to complain? You are just a pleasure woman . . . Who can not ever be loved by anyone else out there.

I got up from bed to dress myself. When I was done, I went back to the bedroom to take a bath. I walked through the terrace of the second floor, I was stepping slowly and from here, I had a great view of the living room where Cedrick and Elise are staying. They were currently sitting on the couch, having a sweet and nice conversation. Side by side at the same time, facing each other sweetly and thickly.

I simply observed them, they honestly had fun talking, it was so visible to their faces. They are not official yet but I know that Elise had feelings for Cedrick.

The two of them had their sweetest smile while staring at each other, which was the one I have never had before. My mom used to say, fairy tales are true, I wanted to believe that they are true. I badly want to believe it because with the extreme pain of life was giving me, it seems like I just wanted to live in my imagination. Where… I could only experience pure pleasure and happiness, and far from sorrows and never-ending tears.

From where I was standing, I could still hear their laughter. Envy welled up in my chest as I listened to their conversation. I wonder what it feels like. How does it seem to be cared for? The feeling of being loved? Because, at the exact time I'd lose my family, I gone lost my loved ones… I lived with only fear in my chest. Pure pain. Drowned by Agony. No love, no laughs, no fun at all. Just sorrows. That's it.

I took a deep breath before walking towards my own bedroom. I went straight to the bathroom and immediately showered myself with the cold streaming water after undressing myself. The water flowed through my body, making me close my eyes in so much comfort. Somehow, I breathed a sigh of relief at the comfort it caused.

My tears dropped down my cheeks while taking shower. Still thinking about what happened earlier. Why is this happening to me? Why am I hurting? Shouldn’t that just be none of my business? Maybe this was because… Cedrick left me inside the room like he doesn't care at all. But of course, he will do that. In the first place, I knew that he really did not care for me at all.

My chest was still heavy from what had happened minutes ago. We're both lusting for each other's body but he just abandoned me like a trash. The pain, embarrassment, was on my part, but I have to accept it because… who am I to argue, right?

I'm just a woman destined for those greedy people, for hungry flesh. Ever since our house burned down, my life had no destination at all. I lost my property as well as my parents. They were all… consumed by fire.

I'd sometimes hate my family for leaving me alone on earth. But they did not aim for it.

My life almost lost its direction like a car losing its control, but when Cedrick and I crossed paths, I started to move forward. And unfortunately, it brought me to my darkest point. I may have money, but I'll lose my dignity. Contradictory to what I am wanting in myself in the future. He offered me a help and I accepted it immediately. But everything he gave me, it always had a return. Exchange is always expected.

I gave my body to him several times every night. I let him hold me, peek at my clothes to see what it hides inside, and I allowed him to undress me. Because he said… he will take care of my studies. When we first had sex, it hurt me, but I wanted to study, I wanted a bachelor's degree, I wanted to have a house. I want a shelter. I wanted a good life.

So despite the guilt inside my chest, of the touches every night… I endured it all. By the time I graduate… I'm leaving here. That's all we talked about.

By now, I'll let my dignity dropped down.

I will give him the satisfaction he wants. The pleasure.

At the very beginning, I made it clear to myself that I would only give Cedrick delicious food, which is myself. I will also hinder myself from falling in love with him despite the beauty he possesses.

I admit, Cedrick damn looked like a walking heartbreak. He had this broad shoulders, hard muscles, wide chest, tall, and absolutely handsome. Oh, I forgot to say, his penis turned me so on. He was giving me the most unforgettable night when our body collide that's why there's a part of me that could not make a complaint. I admit, I loved sleeping with him.

He was like an ice cream in the fridge when you are on a diet and it's summer.

That is why I was so scared to fall for him because I knew he wouldn’t return it back to me.

It was just pure sex and lust. No love mentioned.

After showering myself up, I turned it off and wrapped myself in a towel. I went out of the bathroom while ruffling my hair with a white towel. When it went dry, I took the lotion and rubbed it around my body. I also started getting dressed so that I could take care of my requirements in school.

Tomorrow, I will go out of the house to enroll in the school I am going to study at. I am studying for my second year of college at a prestigious school. I never thought Cedrick would invest so much money for my studies. Public Universities are enough for me, yet, he insisted to enroll me in a prestigious and extravagant University. And that just shows how rich he is, he doesn't care about the large amount of the tuition fee there. The payment seemed to be like the price of a coffee in a cheap vendo machine. A coin.

I wore penguin shorts and a white shirt from the closet. I can say that I have a better life here rather than before, so maybe, I should just stop complaining. That's right, I won't complain anymore.

Maybe I'll just accept that a happy life isn't really destined for me, because even if I tried so hard to turn the world upside down… my won't change. It won't change at all.

I put some powder on my face to freshen my mood. I sprayed some perfume, and it smelled like cherry. After that I proceeded over to my mini table and then pulled up the chair and sat down. I slowly opened the laptop and checked the website of the university I was going to attend.

I have also prepared things that I will take tomorrow. Starting with the birth certificate, two by two pictures, good morals, and other important papers.

In the middle of the preparation, I felt hungry and touched my stomach after hearing it growl. I pulled the chair using the back of my knees and stood up, walking comfortably out of the room. Upon stepping in the hallway, I met Marta, we smiled at each other. She's kind.

She knows what Cedrick and I are up to, it's a good thing that she is not the type of person that will going to judge you right away.

As I descended the stairs, I could already hear the cheering voices of Cedrick and Elise. She hasn't left yet. She came here at three o'clock in the afternoon, it's already seven o'clock in the evening yet she's not leaving. Is she going to sleep here?

When I reached the ground floor, I was about to go straight to the kitchen to get food directly but I heard my name. "Sherin!" It was probably Elise' voice. I felt nervous in an instant. Why is she calling me? Why does she needs?

Despite the nervousness I felt, I turned up to her. I flashed an embarrassed smile. I could hear every throb my chest did as I waited for her to continue. Cedrick and I were very close now, and I noticed his hand was placed on his woman's thigh. I tried to take my eyes off his hand. My heart clenched.

"Why?" I asked politely. She seemed nice, so I should act nicer.

Cedrick was five years older than me. But it actually looks like Cedrick and I were in the same ages. Well, in fact, he is really older than me.

The woman smiled so sweet at me. "You're so pretty. You're Cedrick's cousin, right?" She asked. I couldn't answer her for a few minutes because of what she said. Me? Cedrick's cousin, huh?

I glanced at the man next to him in astonishment. He smiled at me meaningfully and because of that, I got what he meant. He might have told Elise that I was his cousin. He made an excuse so I could still stay here.

I smiled broadly that could reach my eyes to convince her. "Ah! Yes! He's my cousin. Almost like my older brother. Yes, Cedrick and I were cousins." I laughed slightly.

Elise lips rounded. "Ugh! I'm glad I've met you. He's not telling me he has a cousin. I thought he doesn't have any relatives here anymore. He just told me that he has a female cousin but he did not happen to introduce you to me." She said,

I smiled awkwardly again. "Ah, yes, about that, I just moved here last day. I'm going to study here. Last week, my parents passed away because of a car accident. I came from the US. I moved here so I could be able to continue. You know, their death wasn't expected. I'm almost out of depression. And I am so glad here's my cousin Cedrick to take care of me," I said then switched my sight to Cedrick who was sitting next to her.

"Yeah… that's actually the reason," Cedrick nodded anxiously and I almost laughed in my mind. He doesn't know how to act! If this is an audition, he will definitely not be accepted!

I pointed to the kitchen over my shoulders. "You guys want to eat? I am about to cook. I just thought of you guys wanting some foods."

Elise' eyes lightened up. "Oh, you know how to cook?!" She asked in surprise.

My brows met in confusion. "Yes? It was easy to cook." Is this how cooking deals to her? Is cooking hard? It's not either.

"Haha, I hope I can say that too." She shook her head. I just laughed at her. I won't be surprised anymore. She grew up rich. Maybe even holding the lid of the pot every time she eats it was their assistant to do for her. I bet she has people in all her doings. She has people in everything.

"Okay, I'll go on," I said and went straight to the kitchen. Tumakbo na ako dahil parang hindi ko na kakayanin ang kabang unti-unting namumuo sa dibdib ko.