C12 What He Didn't Say

Peter's car stopped outside Alex's apartment.

Neither of them spoke for a few seconds.

Alex stared through the windshield, watching the street ahead.

Peter finally broke the silence.

"You really meant it?"

Alex didn't answer immediately.

"Meant what?"

"What you told Sierra."

Alex looked down at his hands.

"Yes."

Peter studied him.

"You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not."

Peter let out a quiet breath.

"Alex."

"I said what I needed to say."

Peter shook his head.

"You looked like you were breaking apart while you were saying it."

Alex looked away.

"That doesn't change anything."

Peter was quiet for a moment.

Then he said, "You know she really cared about you."

Alex gave a quiet scoff.

"It wasn't even a week."

Peter looked at him.

"Still."

"It'll fade."

"You don't know that."

Alex opened the car door.

"She'll get over it."

Peter watched him step out.

"You're really going to convince yourself of that?"

Alex paused.

"It's better that way."

Then he walked inside.

---

The moment Alex opened the door, he heard his sister from the living room.

"You're back early."

Joan looked up from the couch.

She had changed out of her work clothes and was eating from a takeaway container.

Alex glanced at her.

"Yeah."

She studied his face.

"Everything okay?"

"Fine."

Joan frowned slightly.

"You don't look fine."

"I'm just tired."

Alex walked past her.

Joan watched him disappear down the hallway.

She knew that look.

She had seen him trying to hide how much his health was affecting him before.

She set her food aside and waited a few minutes before going to check on him.

She found Alex sitting quietly in his room.

He was staring at the floor, lost in thought.

Joan leaned against the doorway.

"Bad day?"

Alex looked up.

"Something like that."

She walked in and sat beside him.

"Is it because of everything going on?"

Alex knew what she meant.

His health.

He looked away.

"I don't know."

Joan was quiet for a moment.

"You don't have to talk about it."

"I'm fine."

She gave him a small smile.

"You don't have to say that with me."

Alex sighed.

He rubbed his hands together and stared down at them.

"I'm just tired of all of this."

Joan's expression softened.

"I know."

"I hate that everything feels uncertain."

"I know."

He didn't say anything else.

Joan reached over and gently squeezed his shoulder.

"You don't have to figure everything out today."

Alex looked at her.

"And you don't have to pretend you're okay every second."

A faint smile appeared on his face.

"You sound like Mom."

"That's because Mom was usually right."

He let out a quiet laugh.

Joan smiled.

"Whatever happens, you have us."

Alex nodded.

"Thanks."

"Always."

She stood up.

"Now eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask."

Alex shook his head.

"You're annoying."

"And you're still my brother."

She left the room.

Alex sat quietly for a while.

Then his thoughts returned to Sierra.

The way she'd looked at him before he left.

The confusion in her voice.

I really thought we could work.

Alex closed his eyes.

He had wanted to tell her that he thought so too.

Maybe that was the worst part.

He had imagined what it would be like if he stopped keeping his distance. If he let himself stay close to her. If he allowed things to become something real.

But every time he imagined a future with Sierra, another thought followed.

What happens when you're not there anymore?

That was the question he couldn't escape.

His health had already changed the way he looked at the future.

There were things he couldn't promise.

Things he couldn't control.

And Sierra deserved someone who could give her those promises without wondering how long he would be able to keep them.

Alex looked toward his phone.

There was no message from Sierra.

There couldn't be.

They didn't have each other's numbers.

Somehow, that made the distance easier.

She couldn't call him.

He couldn't call her.

There would be no messages tempting either of them to change their minds.

Peter was right about one thing.

Sierra had cared about him.

But it hadn't even been a week.

It would fade.

Eventually, she'd move on.

Eventually, she'd meet someone else.

And maybe one day, what happened between them would become nothing more than a brief memory.

That was what Alex wanted for her.

At least, that's what he needed to believe.

He stood by the window and looked outside.

She would be fine.

She would forget.

It wasn't even a week.

It would fade.

Alex repeated the thought until he almost believed it.

He hadn't rejected Sierra because he didn't care.

He had rejected her because he cared far too much.

---

Sierra's new apartment was still a little unfamiliar.

There were boxes stacked against one wall and a few things she hadn't found a place for yet, but she didn't mind.

For the first time in a while, the place was completely hers.

Emily sat on the couch with her shoes tucked underneath her, scrolling through her phone.

Sierra walked out of the kitchen carrying two cups.

"Here."

Emily took one.

"Thank you."

Sierra sat beside her and pulled her legs up onto the couch.

Emily glanced around.

"So this is the new place."

"Yep."

"Not bad."

"That's all I get?"

Emily looked around again.

"It's nice."

"Better."

Sierra took a sip of her drink.

They sat quietly for a few moments.

Emily looked at her.

"You know, you actually look more relaxed."

Sierra shrugged.

"Maybe because nobody can tell me to clean my room anymore."

Emily laughed.

"Give it a week."

"I'll manage."

"I'm sure you will."

Sierra looked around the apartment.

"It feels weird."

"What does?"

"Being here alone."

Emily nodded.

"Give it time."

Sierra smiled faintly.

"I think I'll like it."

"You will."

Emily picked up a cushion and tossed it lightly at her.

"Now, important question."

Sierra caught it.

"What?"

"What are we eating?"

Sierra stared at her.

"You came here to eat?"

"I came here to support you."

"By eating my food?"

"Exactly."

Sierra laughed.

"You've always been very supportive."

"I try."

The two of them continued talking, jumping between random things—work, the apartment, plans for the weekend, and whatever else came to mind.

For a while, Sierra forgot about everything else.

She leaned back into the couch and smiled.

Maybe starting over wasn't going to be so bad.