C2 The Morning After
Sierra woke up the next morning with one thought already waiting for her.
Alex.
She stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before pulling the blanket over her face.
“No.”
She wasn't doing this.
She had spent three years building a life that didn't revolve around him.
One evening wasn't going to change that.
Sierra sat up and reached for her phone on the nightstand.
There were a few notifications waiting for her, including a message from Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: You got home okay, right?
Sierra smiled faintly.
Sierra: Yes.
The reply came almost immediately.
Elizabeth: Good. And don't overthink yesterday.
Sierra stared at the message.
Too late.
She dropped the phone onto the bed.
How had Elizabeth known?
Actually, she knew exactly how.
Her sister had always been annoyingly observant.
Sierra got out of bed and started getting ready for work.
She tried to focus on ordinary things.
Her clothes.
Breakfast.
Her bag.
Her schedule.
But every few minutes, her mind returned to the same moment.
It's good to see you.
Alex had said it so simply.
As though three years hadn't passed.
As though he hadn't been the person who once told her they couldn't be together.
Sierra stopped while fastening her watch.
She frowned.
Why was she thinking about that now?
She hadn't thought about it in months.
Maybe longer.
At least, not consciously.
She shook her head and continued getting ready.
Today was going to be normal.
She needed it to be.
---
By the time Sierra reached work, she'd managed to push Alex to the back of her mind.
Or so she thought.
She sat at her desk and opened her laptop.
Her phone buzzed.
Samantha.
Samantha: So.
Sierra stared at the message.
Then another came.
Samantha: How was yesterday?
Sierra typed:
Sierra: Fine.
Three dots appeared.
Samantha: That's all?
Sierra: What else do you want me to say?
Samantha: Maybe something about a certain person.
Sierra sighed.
Sierra: No.
Samantha: I didn't even say his name.
Sierra rolled her eyes.
Sierra: You didn't need to.
Samantha: Exactly.
Sierra smiled despite herself.
Samantha had always been like that.
She could read Sierra better than most people.
Sierra finally typed:
Sierra: It was awkward.
The reply came quickly.
Samantha: Obviously.
Sierra: I haven't seen him in three years.
Samantha: I know.
Sierra hesitated.
Then typed:
Sierra: He looked the same.
She stared at the message before sending it.
The moment she did, she regretted it.
Samantha replied:
Samantha: You noticed?
Sierra locked her phone.
Conversation over.
She wasn't giving Samantha anything else.
---
The day passed faster than Sierra expected.
Work helped.
There were emails to answer, documents to review, people asking questions, and enough little problems to keep her mind occupied.
By lunchtime, she was beginning to feel normal again.
Then Elizabeth called.
Sierra answered.
“Hey.”
“Are you busy?”
“I'm at work.”
“I know. I just wanted to check on you.”
Sierra leaned back in her chair.
“I'm fine.”
“I didn't ask if you were fine.”
Sierra frowned.
“You literally just did.”
“No. I asked if you were okay.”
“That means the same thing.”
“It doesn't.”
Sierra smiled.
“You and Samantha have been talking.”
“Maybe.”
“Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth laughed.
“Okay, fine. Samantha told me you were acting weird.”
“I'm not acting weird.”
“You're definitely acting weird.”
Sierra looked around her office.
“I'm working.”
“That doesn't mean anything.”
Sierra sighed.
“Can we please talk about something else?”
“Sure.”
There was a brief pause.
Then Elizabeth said, “Alex asked about you.”
Sierra went still.
“What?”
“He asked how you've been.”
She didn't answer.
Elizabeth continued.
“I didn't tell him much.”
“Good.”
“Why?”
“Because there's nothing to tell.”
Elizabeth was quiet.
“Sierra…”
“What?”
“You don't have to pretend with me.”
Sierra looked down at her desk.
She didn't know what to say.
She wasn't even sure what she was pretending about.
Maybe she was pretending she didn't care.
Maybe she was pretending that seeing Alex hadn't reopened something she'd carefully closed.
Or maybe she simply hated that, after three years, he could still make her feel uncertain.
“I have to get back to work,” she said.
“Okay.”
“And Elizabeth?”
“Yeah?”
“Don't talk to him about me.”
There was a pause.
“Okay.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Sierra ended the call.
She sat quietly for a moment.
Alex had asked about her.
It shouldn't have mattered.
But it did.
---
That evening, Sierra went home expecting the day to finally be over.
She changed into comfortable clothes and made herself something to eat.
Her apartment was quiet.
Peaceful.
Exactly how she liked it.
She had just sat down when her phone buzzed.
She looked at the screen.
A number she didn't recognize.
For a second, she considered ignoring it.
Then she opened the message.
Hi, Sierra. It's Alex.
Her heart stopped.
She stared at the screen.
Three years.
Three years without a message.
And now—
She read it again.
Hi, Sierra. It's Alex.
Nothing else.
She didn't know what to do.
Why had he messaged her?
What did he want?
She placed the phone on the table.
Five seconds later, she picked it up again.
She typed:
Hi.
She stared at the word.
It looked stupid.
She deleted it.
Typed again.
Hey.
Deleted that too.
Finally, she settled on:
Hi, Alex.
She sent it.
The reply came almost immediately.
I hope I'm not bothering you.
Sierra frowned.
You're not.
Another message.
I wanted to apologize for yesterday.
She stared at the screen.
Apologize?
For what?
Seeing her?
Talking to her?
Or—
The past?
She typed:
You don't have to apologize.
Alex replied:
Maybe I do.
Sierra's fingers stopped over the keyboard.
She didn't know what to say.
Then another message appeared.
There are some things I'd like to explain.
Her heart sank.
There it was.
The thing she'd spent three years wondering about.
The explanation she had once desperately wanted.
Sierra stared at the message for a long time.
Then she typed:
What things?
The typing indicator appeared.
Disappeared.
Appeared again.
Then nothing.
A minute passed.
Then two.
Finally, a message appeared.
Not over text.
Sierra frowned.
Of course.
Alex was still making things complicated.
She put the phone down.
A few seconds later, it buzzed again.
Would you be willing to talk to me sometime?
Sierra stared at the question.
Three years ago, she would've said yes without hesitation.
Now?
She wasn't sure.
She looked around her quiet apartment.
She had built this life without him.
She had learned how to be okay without answers.
But now the answers were standing right in front of her.
And maybe she deserved to hear them.
Sierra picked up her phone.
Okay.
She sent the message before she could change her mind.
Alex replied almost immediately.
Thank you.
Sierra locked her phone and leaned back against the couch.
She should have felt relieved.
Instead, she felt nervous.
Because whatever Alex wanted to tell her, she had a feeling it would change something.
She just didn't know what.
And somewhere across the city, Alex sat staring at the same conversation, knowing that the explanation he'd avoided giving Sierra for three years was finally coming.
He just wasn't sure he was ready to give it.
