C19 Jason

Presumably, when Chelsea admitted Kevin was taking off, I presumed he would have left soon after graduation. However, the bastard is still here. It’s been two fucking months since graduation, and the fucker still hadn’t left yet.

Chelsea made a major fucking mistake by leaving her cell phone at our house. Considering, I become angrier with each text message I read between her and Kevin.

This evening, Chelsea had informed me she was going to her mother’s house, though the text messages between her and Kevin prove otherwise.

Clearly, Kevin had messaged her and invited her to dinner, forcing her to feel guilty for not spending his last day here with him.

Of course, Chelsea being the kind-hearted woman she is, she stumbled right into his trap.

Earlier, I invited her to come with me to my mother’s house, though she refused. I figured she would have wanted to come to spend time with our sister and her father. Still, she refused.

Chelsea claimed she wasn’t feeling good, but I realize now that’s a lie. Obviously, she wanted me to leave so she could take off with him.

Without thinking twice, I pour a glass of ‘Vodka’ and gulp it down straight. As soon as I finish my first glass, I pour another glass, hoping to soothe my temper before she wanders through our front door.

However, it isn’t working.

I attempt to stand tall, yet my body feels a little wobbly. Accidentally, her cell phone slips between my fingers and crashes to the floor.

The longer I look at my wife’s phone, the more I realize this is the only piece of device that keeps her and Kevin connected.

Without delay, I stomp her phone until it shatters into pieces. Seconds later, while I’m still standing in the middle of the floor staring at her phone, the door finally opens.

Promptly, I twist my neck to watch as Chelsea walks in and closes the door quietly. She probably assumes I’m sleeping since it’s one in the morning, and all the lights are off.

So, I flip the light switch and realize her eyes seem puffy. Plainly, she’s been crying. However, I don’t feel an ounce of compassion for her, “Wanna explain to me what the fuck you were doing with him all night?”

She gasps since I had taken her by surprise, “Not really, Jason. I just want to go to sleep.”

I lift my chin angrily, “Not until you give me an answer.” I demand.

She places her pocketbook down, “I’m not in the frame of mind for this shit tonight.” She storms up the stairs and leaves me standing there.

Hurriedly, I follow behind her and take hold of her arm, “You lied to me.” I shout louder than I meant to. Rapidly, she twists out my grasp.

“Jason, I’m tired of this,” She lowers her head, “Every time I do something, you think I’m fucking someone else.”

“I don’t think you’re fucking someone. I think you’re fucking him.” I holler as I backed her into the wall. “It’s always fucking him and always will be him.”

She tilts her head up, “I’ve told you countless times I’m not fucking him.” She pushes at my chest, “And, you never fucking believe me. I had dinner with him, Jason. Dinner.” She shrieks, “Not a fuck fest.”

I slide my hand up her arm and grip her around her neck, “You didn’t tell me you were going with him. You hid it from me, Chelsea.” I squeeze her neck a little tighter, “Why would you hide it if you had nothing to hide?”

She twists her body until she yanks herself from my hold, “This is why Jason.” She chokes, “Every time I mention, speak, or visit my family, you accuse me of fucking Kevin.”

Speedily, she rushes toward the door of our bedroom, “I’m leaving.”

“Secrets Are Lies,” I state blandly, tossing her words back at her.

“I’m leaving Jason. I can’t do this with you anymore. It’d be different if I were hiding secrets, but I’m not.” She sighs, “I thought I loved your jealousy, but it’s becoming too much. I’ve told you so many times that Kevin would always be in the picture because he’s family. In fact, you knew of Kevin long before you and I dated and married. Moreover, I realize now you will never accept him. My family will always be a part of me whether you like it or not.”

The truth is, I’ll never approve of her leaving me. I’ve told her several times I would never let her go, and I meant it.

Speedily, I jerk my wife by her arm, attempting to draw her into me, but she fucking fights me. Still, I keep my grip tight, refusing to let her go. In truth, I refuse to tolerate her walking out of my life. “Stop, Chelsea. I’ll never let you go.” Usually, she stops, but this time she doesn’t.

She fights me.

She slaps me.

She claws at me until she’s breathless.

When I notice her breathing return to normal, I attempt to pull her into me again, “I can’t keep living my life worrying about what you will think, Jason. I won’t be tied down, terrified to breathe because I have to worry about you thinking I’ve fucked somebody else. I’ll always love you, but this isn’t what I want.”

“Where the fuck is this coming from?” I inquire as I tug her toward me.

Instantly, she jerks back and loses her balance, falling to the floor. “It’s too much, Jason. I can’t do it anymore. If I had known the married life would have been like this, I wouldn’t have signed.” She weeps into her hands, “I’d rather be your friend Jason instead of your wife.” She sobs.

Angrily, I punch the wall, putting my fist straight through it, “It’s because of him, isn’t it? Did he fuck you tonight like he does his other bitches and made you believe you’re in love?”

She leaps off the floor and smacks me across my cheek, “This has nothing to do with him and everything to with us. That’s our fucking problem now, Jason. Why can’t you see that?” She takes her wedding ring off and places it on the dresser, “I want a divorce.” We were doing so fucking good until that prick came in the middle of us.

“I’ll never let you go,” I state again, hoping she understands how much she means to me.

Only, she doesn’t. She attempts to dart away from me, but this time I don’t let her go.

Sternly, I yank her into my arms and toss her onto my shoulders. Then, I seize the wedding ring off the dresser and toss Chelsea onto the bed.

Promptly, I crawl over her, not giving her a chance to move. Instantly, I hold her hands above her head, “Don’t you ever take this ring off again.” I declare furiously as I slide the wedding ring back onto her finger.

At once, while she is at my mercy, I plant my head into her neck and breathe her in.

No doubt, I recognize I have jealousy issues, but I’m so fucking scared of losing her. Everybody I knew who married had divorced.

Both of our parents are cheaters, and both have divorced. Obviously, I don’t want to end up like them. The only way I know how to prevent that from happening is to keep my wife close.

I can’t promise to control my jealousy because I love her too fucking much. Moreover, I don’t understand the change in her lately or in me for that matter.

Angling my head to the side, I kiss on her neck and work my way to her lips. Rapidly, she turns her head, “Sex isn’t the answer, Jason.”

I keep her hands above her head, “No, but it shows you how much I love and need you.” Gradually I take my free hand and slide it up her dress and rub her clitoris, slowly taunting her. “Do you wish it was him you married instead of me?” I am powerless to stop the jealousy and the questions that are flowing freely from my mouth.

I need for her to assure me she hadn’t slept with him.

I need her to reassure me I’m the only one she wants.

“Stop, Jason.” She whimpers.

“What’s gotten into you?” As I lay over her and observe her carefully, I recognize she looks tired.

“You, Jason. You’ve gotten into me.” She rips her hands out of mine and places them on my cheek, “I don’t wish it was him I married. And, to answer your question, no, I didn’t fuck him. But, how many times will I have to tell you that in order for you to believe me?” As I stare into her eyes, I realize she really is tired.

How the fuck do I control this impulse to fucking have her all to myself before I chase her away?

How do I learn to put my trust issues to the side before losing the one person who means the most to me?

As I roll off her, she bounces off the bed and rushes downstairs. Naturally, I follow her. “Is that my phone?” Chelsea bends down and plucks her broken phone off the floor.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” I offer. At least if I buy her a new phone, Kevin won’t have her number.

Her lips drew back in a snarl, “All we do is argue and fuck, Jason. I can’t do this anymore. If you really love me, you’ll let me go.”

It’s because I love her; I won’t let her go. Why can’t she understand that?

“I’ll do better, Chelsea.” I make promises I’m incapable of keeping. At this moment, I’ll do or say anything to stop her from leaving me.

I can’t guarantee her I won’t be a jealous prick since that’s something I can’t control, but I can promise to show her the world as long as she remains by my side.

Without delay, she grabs her purse and heads toward the door. I clutch her arm, “If you think I will let you go so you can run into his arms, you have another thing coming.”

“Him. Him. Him.” She yells, “That’s all you fucking think. Hence, the reason we’re in the situation we’re in now.” She yanks out my fucking hold and slams the door shut, and walks away from me.

I remain here suffocating in sadness, alone.

She fucking left me.

She’ll be back.

She has to come back because I can’t fucking live without her.