C7 CHAPTER 07: A Shoulder To Cry On

KATE’s P.O.V.

If only I can count the bucket of my tears... Maybe that wouldn’t sound absurd at all right after what happened to my friendship with Claire. I can’t even remember how it all started. Me loving Gabriel and him loving my bestfriend.

For a moment, I thought I was the one. I thought he likes me back now that Claire isn’t hanging out with us anymore. But I was wrong. So wrong. I shouldn’t have let myself be driven by these weird feelings.

Now I realized it. Maybe Gab just hang around with me for he was left with no choice, since I was just the one who can lead him to Claire. Sadly, as time passes by, he knows that I wasn’t planning to tease him to Claire or even help him get close to my bestfriend.

“You’re here... I was looking for you for apparently an hour now... Also, I almost check every place around our campus.”

I turned my gaze around, and I saw Elijah standing a few meters away from me while his hands is in his pockets. I’m currently at the rooftop of the highest building here in school. I decided to stay here for I know that no one in their right mind would stay here and cry alone like what exactly I’m doing right now.

“Elij...” I wiped my tears away, afraid to look vulnerable in front of him.

“What are you doing here, Ms. Frias? You’re not planning to jump or do anything suicidal, right?” he asked, worried.

I bitterly laughed at his statement. As if I have the courage to do so. Just facing a guy makes me feel nervous, so what more jumping out of the tallest building here in our school. And besides, I don’t want to die here if ever.

“You’re a lunatic. Do you really think I want our schoolmates to see my body dripping off with blood while my flesh and bones are out?” I asked, forcing a fake smile.

He laughed, before looking at me with his worried eyes again. He came closer, and I just let him. I’m too tired to complain nor to scold him for getting too close to me.

“That’s quiet a description, huh?” he asked, chuckling.

“Yeah. I got it from watching and reading horror stuffs.”

“That’s nasty.”

“Do you honestly think that it was nasty? What I saw earlier... That... That was the nasty one...”

“Hey... Cheer up, girl. There’s so many other guys out there... Like me.”

“What?”

“Me? I mean, guys, like me... I’m a guy, right?”

I just nodded, while thriftily smiling to myself. I don’t know why, because minutes ago, I was just crying and now I’m smiling to myself. Maybe I had become a lunatic too because of this man. Having him around wasn’t that bad after all.

“Are you... Smiling, maybe? I thought you supposed to be sad. That’s why I came here. For you to have a shoulder to cry on.”

I looked at him, before a bead of tear escaped from my eye.

“I wish I could be as pretty as my bestfriend... I wish I wouldn’t need anyone’s help just to have a stupid date with guys... I wish... I want to be like her.”

“Hey... Please don’t do that.” He cupped my face and wiped my tears away. “Loving yourself was worth more than anything else. Don't wish to be someone you’re not...” I looked away from him but I felt him reached for my hand to hold it instead.

“Funny... That’s what Claire told me to do... And now... We’re not friends anymore. Is this means that I’m going to lose you too?” I looked back towards him again.

“We barely even know each other to compromised and said that I’m not going to leave you... But, as I promised, I will be your amending person... Willing to provide you a shoulder to cry on and a person who’s ready to comfort you whenever you need it.”

I sobbed, and he just gave me a tiny smile. He patted my back and as his hand reached my shoulder, he slowly caressed it giving me more comfort than I needed. In that moment, I just let him hold me for a while as I cried in pain because of what happened.

Days, weeks, and months had passed. Claire often stare at me every time that she got a chance. Maybe she’s looking for a perfect moment that she can finally talk to me alone. But Elijah is always by my side, and thankfully, he wasn’t nagging me anymore about some random stuffs. He didn’t even mind asking for my first name for he knew that I wasn’t going to give it to him.

Graduation is just around the corner, and I heard from someone that Gabriel is moving back to his hometown or wherever it is on Earth. I don’t care, and I’m not planning to ask him either way. Mom and Dad also decided that we should move from our current home to a new one. I wanted to tell it to Claire, but I couldn’t. And in fact, maybe she doesn’t even care about it too.

After our class, I went straight to the hallway where Elijah is still waiting for me. I waved at him as soon as I saw him and he did the same.

”Looking good, Ms. Frias.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” I rolled my eyes towards him.

“Would you tell me your first name now?”

“Nope.”

“Ugh. I can’t even find your social media account! How will I know? And I also don’t want to ask our teacher...”

“You’ll find out about it sooner later...”

He sighed as I chuckled. We walked together, planning to hangout and do our research paper to the coffee shop nearby. But before we can leave inside of the school premises, we accidentally bumped into someone... Not literally, but he saw us.

“Hey!” Gabriel greeted.

From the corners of my eyes, I saw how Elijah brows furrowed.

“Gab...”

“Can I hangout with you? I don’t often see you and Claire together anymore...”

“Asshole...” Elijah whispered, causing Gabriel’s attention to divert towards him.

“What did you say? What’s your problem, dude?”

“Don’t call me that. We’re not close.”

Gabriel shook his head before looking at me.

“Who is this guy?”

“Uhm... He’s Elijah. My classmate,” I forced myself to smile.

Maybe, just maybe, he couldn’t remember what happened or he hadn’t see me crying right after he confessed to Claire. How I wish that our situation right now is in that way or any other way possible except what we have now.

“Can we talk? I want to ask you something,” Gabriel requested.

“Sure...”

I looked at Elijah as he held my arm trying to stop me from doing what Gabriel requested. I just nodded at him as a sign that I’m fine and I could do this alone.

“Is there a problem?” Gabriel asked, raising his brows to Elijah.

Elijah just shook his head before letting me go. We walked away from him, but before that, I bid my farewells to Elijah, of course.

“Bye. I’ll text you later.” He just nodded.

Gabriel and I drove towards the nearby park. I don’t know why he chose this place. Maybe because he knew that I could say something very stupid and he don’t want other people to heard it.

“This place is nice. If only Claire is here with us...” I sighed harshly.

Just now, I confirmed that he didn’t knew I was standing there in front of them when he confessed to Claire. Maybe his mind was too occupied by the romantic feeling he has for Claire that he forget to use his other senses. Or maybe, he’s doing this on purpose just to make me feel uneasy or hurt. Whichever it is, I think Elijah is right. I shouldn’t have come here.

“I should go...”

“Huh? But we’d just arrived...”

“I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well.”

“Oh. Maybe if Claire is here–”

I turned around, suppressing my tears before walking out. He couldn’t finish his sentence for I already left him there, standing alone. Until I heard footsteps following me. I instantly knew that it was him, specially when he pulled my arm trying to make me stop from escaping. I turned around, before slapping his face hard. I’ve been waiting for a long time to do that, and I finally did.

“Ouch. What was that for?”

“You really don’t have an idea? What the heck, Gab?! You were with me right after that stupid project of yours and my bestfriend! Only me! What happened, Gab?! Why did you suddenly changed your mind and confessed to Claire like what we have is just nothing to you?!”

“What are you saying?” he asked innocently.

“Are you blind? Or are you that stupid?! I fucking like you, Gab! I really do! And I can’t understand why you chose Claire over me!”

“Kate, I’m sorry, okay? But I didn’t know that you feel that way about me... And Claire... I like her even before the three of us started talking to each other. That’s why I confessed to her as soon as I can... Because we’re going to leave the country soon... And I want her to be my girlfriend...”

“What?! Wow. You still got the nerve to tell me about that, huh?”

“Why? I mean... I didn’t say nor do anything for you to think that I like you... Believe me, I have nothing but good intentions when I befriended you.”

“No, Gab. You used me to get close to my bestfriend. And now you ruined everything. We aren’t even talking to each other...”

“That’s your choice! You chose to hate her rather than to listen to her!”

“So it’s my fault now?”

“No. I didn’t say that... Just... Claire didn’t do anything wrong... In fact she even avoided me these past few months... God knows how much I really wanted to talk to her.”

“Then what are you saying, Gab? Now I’m glad that I asked her to stay away from you...” I fired back.

“What?! You asked her to do that? Are you that desperate?”

Again, I slapped his face, harder this time. He looked so surprised, and he even touched the part of his face reddened because of the impact.

“You’re nothing but a user! You just used me to get close to Claire!”

He just chuckled bitterly that made me more furious than before.

“The two of us are just the same. Always remember that, Kate. You used your bestfriend too, right? Do you honestly think that I didn’t noticed how Claire set us up on a date? She’ll do anything for you... But you’re not that good to her. Maybe that was the reason why I chose Claire over you... Now tell me, who’s the user now?”

I burst out in tears, realizing that Claire and I haven’t even just a single thing in common. Maybe Gabriel is right. I’m too selfish. But even so, he still doesn’t have the right to provoke nor compare me to another person. That’s what I learned from Elijah and Claire.

“You’re a jerk,” I stated.

“Say whatever it is that you wanted to say. I still wouldn’t change my mind about anything. I like Claire... No, I love her. And I’ll do anything for her to love me back.”

I shook my head while backing away. I ran, eager to see and feel comforted again by the man who’s willing to lend me his time and provide me a shoulder to cry on.