C15 Deserve

I am fuming mad not for anyone, but to myself. Para akong nagbubungkal ng sariling hukay. Isasantabi ang totoong nararamdaman dahil takot na masaktan. Is this selfishness? If it is, then I'd rather hurt myself than to give him false hope. Aaminin ko naduduwag ako. This is my first relationship if ever na maging kami pagkatapos iiwanan lang ako, at paghihintayin sa loob ng apat na taon?

No