C1 The Breakup

The nights in Findal City were always so beautiful and charming. The night sky was aglow with bright city lights. It was the perfect time for couples to check out a scenic view from a skyrise building, attend a concert or for friends to set up a sunset potluck picnic at a park.

For Tris, it was just another ordinary night in her busy life as she stood behind the counter at the coffee shop, brewing coffee for the man seating in one of the cafe sitting areas. Tris glanced at her watch and when she saw that it was 9:15pm, she sighed. She couldn't wait to get off work but she still had about 45 minutes to go before she would close for the day.

The coffee shop was where she worked on weekends for the extra pay while she worked as a nurse at Hamin hospital on weekdays. Working two jobs to make ends meet and provide for her family was not what Tris envisaged she would be doing as an adult but when the unexpected happened that caused her to be the breadwinner of her family, she had to make sacrificies.

She had to give up on her dreams of becoming a reporter to major in nursing because of the financial benefits. She initially chose to become a nurse because of the good pay but she grew to love caring for the patients and the satisfaction she felt each time she saw that she had made a difference in her patient's life keeps her going.

Tris was still making the coffee when she heard her phone ring. She took it out of her pocket and saw that it was a call from Samuel - her boyfriend. She slipped the phone back in her pocket.

"I'd call him back when I'm less busy", she whispered to herself.

When the coffee was ready, she served it to the man at his table and went back to the counter. She was already tired as she had been the only one working at the coffee shop since afternoon. In her heart, she hoped that the man would be her last customer for the day so that she could go home to prepare for the next day.

A few minutes later, the man finished his coffee and walked out of the coffee shop. "Finally!", Tris said excitedly as she went to clear the man's table.

Just as she was preparing to leave, she heard the bells on the entrance of the door chime and a slim figure walked in.

Tris closed her eyes, folding her fists tightly in frustration. She then inhaled deeply to calm herself down before opening her eyes. When she opened her eyes, the figure was already directly in front of her and she immediately recognised him.

It was Samuel - her boyfriend.

Startled, she stared at him for a few seconds before speaking up.

"Why are you here?", Tris asked him.

"To see you. I called you several times but you didn't pick up.", he said.

"I know. I was too busy, I'm sorry. I was going to call you when I got home.", She explained.

Samuel didn't respond. He stared at Tris, waiting for her to say something else. He kept on staring at her blankly which made Tris feel a little awkward and confused that she blurted out, "So...are we just going to stand here and stare at each other all night?"

"Don't you know what day today is?", Samuel finally asked.

Unsure what day it was, Tris asked, "Today? It's not your birthday, is it?"

"No.", Samuel answered sadly.

Hiding the sadness in his voice, he said lightly with a smile, "It's our one year anniversary."

"Oh no!", Tris exclaimed bitterly. She had forgetten. She was always busy everyday through the week that she didn't have time for herself let alone remember her one year anniversary.

"I didn't know that was today. I'm sorry.", she replied.

"It's fine, you know I love you.", Samuel said with a smile as he slipped his hand in hers and looked into Tris's beautiful brown eyes.

"I know.", Tris replied, forcing a smile. Samuel tightened his hold of her hand and repeated the same words he said earlier, "I said I love you."

"I know.", Tris said lightly with a smile.

Samuel's expression saddened as she didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. They had been dating for a year now and she had never said the words "I love you" to him. Everytime he told her that he loved her she would always reply with "I know" or she would just smile. This time he was hoping that she would say those words back to him. That she would tell him she loved him. But she didn't.

Disappointed that she didn't say those words, he slowly removed his hand from hers.

"Let's break up!", Samuel said with hesistancy in his voice. He looked at her, hoping she would not agree to it. Even if she didn't love him yet, he could deal with that if she just showed a sign of reluctance to ending their one-year relationship. If she didn't agree to end the relationship, he would wait for her. Wait for her to love him.

Tris was confused at first. She didn't know why he would suggest that. She was silent for a few seconds before she finally opened her mouth to speak.

"Yeah, right. We should break up.", Tris said coldly and turned to head outside the coffee shop. Samuel felt his heart rip into a million pieces as he slowly turned his head to the ground.

"Before you leave, let me ask you this one question." Samuel said in a low voice, stopping her in her tracks.

Tris turned back to face Samuel. "Ask it."

"Did you ever love me? Even for a moment?", Samuel asked her, shifting his gaze from the floor to fix them on her. He was waiting for her response.

Tris, unable to answer his question, stayed silent and looked at him remorsefully. She was sad. Sad that she had hurt his feelings, sad that she couldn't love him. She had thought that she would love him with time which was why she had agreed to date him. But she was wrong. She couldn't love him. After dating him for a year, she had more reasons to like him but they just weren't enough to love him. She didn't know what to tell him so she stayed silent.

Her silence was louder than anything she could have said and Samuel knew the answer to his question. She had never loved him, not even for a moment. He felt as if his heart had been broken all over again.

"What was I thinking? What was I expecting?", he thought to himself.

He was so low in spirit that he could only croak, "Take care".

"You too.", Tris replied him in a low voice and quickly walked to the entrance of the door. She waiting for him to leave the coffee shop before she stepped outside and locked the door.

Tris started to walk to the bus station but decided to stop and sit on the park bench under some cherry trees. She thought about her breakup with Samuel and how she had hurt him because she couldn't love him.

After a few minutes of thinking, she stood up to leave. As she got up from the bench, she saw a leaf fall on the bench and it made her think of someone - Tony. Her childhood best friend, her first love whom she had not seen or heard from in ten years.

Even at her lowest, she always thought of him. He was the one person that she had loved with all her heart but he wasn't there with her. Maybe that was why loving someone else was hard. Because Tony had taken up all the space in her heart.

*Even on days like this, why do I think of you? Why do I still miss you so much?*

"I think it's time to let Tony go. So that I can have enough space in my heart to love someone else. So that I would stop hurting."