C6 Dreams and Nightmares

2018 December

She scribbled down the formulas of thermodynamics on a notebook. Isothermal and Adiabatic graphs covered one side of the white sheet while she continued solving questions related to the same on the blank part left.

A small part of her mahogany door was opened helping Violet peek inside and see what her sister was upto.

Karma's glow lamp was turned on making her heart-shaped face glimmer in the middle of the onyx night, a white T-shirt dangling on her stature made the girl look like she was drowning in her clothes.

Though the dark circles under her eyes could have suggested that she was getting sick but the small crease between her eyebrows sang the tale of how she enjoyed the sweet pain and the uncomfortable feeling.

It could have been called her sadistic pleasure...Karma loved to work herself to the verge of exhaustion because while the whole country was probably asleep, the girl continued to study till 3am.

The once blue room use to be covered with novels, coffee and candies was littered with paper all around; the red velvety ground mat had the small paper crumbles of the failed mathematical expressions while Karma's glossy golden-haired head peeked from behind the chair.

Totally absorbed in the book the said girl forgot that there was a life outside those beautiful calculations for she had discovered something far more interesting and precious to her.

The past year has been dark to her, unnerving even. The only friend or true well-wisher as Karma liked to call it, was the younger sister of Atlanta.Destiny with whom she mourned for months after the death of Atlanta and the pain brought them closer.

And still, the aurum fawn beauty refused to refer to her as a friend.Karma hated the word with so much passion that it became an overwhelming feeling in her chest, the hatred blossoming into disgust soon.

The word not only brought utmost discomfort to her but also was an insignia that her trust would never be the same.

Mariah her ex-bestfriend had left so many scars that it was too painful to forgive or forget even. After the whole fiasco of Alaric and her, the only person she hoped to find solace in was her bestfriend, her sister for life...her confidant as she believed her to be.

Violet had once warned the delicate beauty regarding the self-centered girl but Karma had been too keen to see the good in everybody.

Fool

Nothing but only a fool does that because a smart person would be free from judgments...good or bad.

Don't fantasize... Watch, see, hear and act, use all your senses and embrace reality.

Reality is what separates a king and a pauper; only a weak-willed,spineless coward resorted to be blinded by his enemies and foes in the facade of friends and the outcome of it...

Betrayed

Pain

Heartbreak

And Karma had been a fool.

But Mariah had been intelligent and cunning, there were numerous times when Karma pulled out her phone to talk to someone, bleed her heart out and scream that she wasn't alright but she soon realized Mariah had been busy...too busy and engrossed in her ladder to success to get into Yale and she didn't have time to talk about unimportant and unnecessary things and meaningless rantings.

Karma soon realized the ideology of hers that she had a perfect life was nothing but a fabricated dream, the world was brutal and it required courage and hardwork to withstand the storm, the ones who faltered in their efforts were uprooted sooner or later.

It would have been the easier way out if she spent her time crying and whining about her loss but she was a fast learner with an extremely sharp mind. She had done stupid things and then she had paid the price for them.... never again.

The past one year the girl had not only changed schools but also made sure to make no efforts to initiate a conversation with her new schoolmates. She faded into the background and soon nobody bothered her.

It was pretty simple she would go her way and they would go theirs.

Not only her personality but clothes too did a complete one-eighty degrees turn. Frocks and skirts were replaced by pairs of long palazzos and simple T-shirts which mingled in the atmosphere like thin air with no appeal or attraction to her body.

But as her books became thicker, the girl became radiant, her hair luminous and longer, unknowing to herself puberty did her job on the frail girl's body.

She had changed and people noticed.

"Hey, monkey," Violet whispered softly opening the door of Karma's room wider entering with soft steps as the girl looked up startled with an intruder this late, giving a small smile to Violet.

"You are up?"

"I wanted to talk about something...um have some sister time you know...”

Violet sat on the plush fluffy bed patting the space beside her, Karma grinned sitting beside her.

"You look so happy Vi. Soooo who is this lucky guy?" Karma wiggled her eyebrows in mischief earning a giggle from her sister.

"I...I love someone, had been in an off and on relationship with him from the past year but it never seemed alright till now-"

Karma stopped Violet squealing loudly, throwing her arms around the other girl she clung to her like a monkey living her nickname 'monkey'.

"Oh my god!OH MY GOD! Congratulations!Tell me who's he?"

"Listen Karma..."Violet hesitated.

"I...I have known about your crush on Alaric and thus I had tried avoiding him, I stopped talking to him but I-I couldn't....my feelings for him were uncontrollable."

Karma wasn't listening anymore, her palms becoming clammy and heartbeat accelerating with an apprehension of what the future had in store for her.

Violet held her hand with both of hers sighing.

"...last year it was fall when we started dating but before we could make it serious there were these terrible rumors.....t-they said he slept with a junior, a minor at that and I couldn't grasp such devastating news.....he cheated on me with someone."

Violet shook her head side by side unaware of the ashen pale face of Karma.

"But after several months the rumors died down and Alaric told me he only had eyes for me and-"

"Leave" the scratchy, broken voice of the delicate beauty pierced the lullaby of nature's breeze circulating around.

"Karma?"

"Please just leave my room."

"Hey what happ-"

"I am tired, I need to sleep." Only then Violet saw how exhausted the girl looked like the world was weighing down her shoulders, and how her eyes became dull with no light shining inside.

Violet got up moving towards the door, her back towards Karma.

"Do you still like Alaric?"

"Get out," Karma replied harshly, angry tears forming in her eyes as she saw her sister walking out and closing the door softly.

Not only she had slept with a man who treated her like thrash but he was also her sister's boyfriend. Alaric cheated with her.

Karma couldn't even look in the eyes of her sister.

She felt ashamed and wanted to shave her head and run off somewhere or just stop existing all together.

What if...

What if she dies...Wouldn't it solve all the problems? Save her from mortification and humiliation.

Maybe she should just do it.

She didn't have friends, her family was falling apart since she had withdrawn so much, maybe she should leave her father and sister in peace.

That's it.

She threw her legs off the bed walking off like a dead soul in dark. Her heart seemed to beat out of her chest as she neared the staircase to the rooftop.

Her conversation with Violet, her father's disappointed eyes, the sorrowful expression of Atlanta, and the tears of Destiny played like a photo reel in her brain.

Thunder flashed in the sky like a warning was roaring across the heavens for her. Her legs trembled as the scene infront of her eyes got hazy and blurred due to the pearl tears trailing down her porcelain doll-like face.

"Don't you get that! I love you!"

"You are just another girl for warming my bed!

What made you think you were different from any of them? Was it because you were a virgin and desperate? Well check again baby, you are no longer a Virgin Mary...just another whore." He spat the word 'baby' like venom.

A sob escaped followed by another as tears raced down not able to stop the soul-wrenching wailing as she screamed trying to let out pain and guilt eating her alive.

Thunderstorm filled the sky with red-grey clouds as lightning tore through the silence of the night, the pitter-patter of rain disguising and inter-mingling the sounds of her soul cracking.

The omnipotent universe sharing her grief.

It felt like razor blades were tearing her guts and needles prickling her stomach as she stood on the edge of the rooftop, one more step....just one more.....

"Karma you are more precious to me than anything in the entire universe. You are my baby, my little daughter, my pride and joy, and the source of my happiness."

Karma's eyes widened as she found herself in a predicament she could have never imagined herself in, she halted herself backing her body like a rag doll.

When had she gone so selfish to forget about her father who has been nothing but lonely after her mother died?

Even if the whole world was dipped in mayhem and dripping in hatred, her father would always love her and she was wrapping her agony and gifting it to her father.

Karma fell like a heap on the floor no longer aware of the cries and screeching voice, her hand gripped her flaxen locks in insanity as she pulled it hard, ripping off some beautiful golden threads as result.

She got up running blindly.Skipping two stairs at once, she reached the second floor, her fists banging the door furiously.

"Princess?"Geralt opened the door locking eyes with his disheveled daughter who looked on the verge of passing out.

"P-papa" her voice cracked as she put her arms around him, clutching tightly.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong Kar"? He asked, worried beyond comparison.

"Papa, help me.... p-please send me away, I-it’s getting too m-much...I can't take it anymore.......I don't feel fine." And the tears continued.

*******************

Alistair woke up much before his usual morning time, it was four in the morning and his eyes refused to shut down.

An uncomfortable feeling bloomed in his chest as he rubbed it right above his heart to ease some tightness.

He had won a fight today then...

What was wrong?