C1 Chapter 1

The World Keeps Turning

Carolin sat at breakfast, alone, as she did every day – except for the weekends. She so looked forward to her weekends with Ina.

Her gaze fell on the toaster. The folding breakfast table barely big enough for one, which she’d gotten practically free from that indispensable Nordic furniture store, gave her just enough room to eat breakfast in the kitchen. But the appliance on the narrow countertop appeared so oversized that it made the room seem even smaller than it was.

She sighed. Accepting the toaster from Rebekka was wrong, especially under the circumstances . . . Rebekka had expected something in return that she hadn’t gotten. But Carolin had already used the toaster – her old one just didn’t do the job anymore – and only later did Carolin think about the fact that she could no longer return it.

The kitchen clock hanging above the door marked each minute with a loud click; that was good, in the morning, to remind Carolin it was time to go to work. That’s why she’d bought the clock with the penetrating tick – at this hour, she was frequently not quite awake yet and only halfway compos mentis. She looked at the dial. Rebekka would surely be in her office by now.

Carolin bit her lip. She couldn’t keep the toaster – nor could she return it. Tricky situation. She felt like a freeloader.

Resolutely, she stood up, went to the living room, and picked up the telephone. Rebekka’s number was easy to remember, but even if it hadn’t been, it would’ve been long since imprinted on Carolin’s mind. She had a good memory for numbers. She knew lots of phone numbers by heart that she didn’t dial often.

Yes, that’s all it was, her knack for remembering numbers, that made it possible for her to type in Rebekka’s number without hesitating. At least, that’s what she told herself while she waited for the phone to ring.

It rang a surprising number of times, and Carolin was about to hang up when Rebekka answered, somewhat breathless.

Carolin suddenly had a guilty conscience. What was she thinking, calling this early in the morning? She didn’t know Rebekka well enough to simply assume that she was already at work. She could just as well still be lying in bed – and maybe not even alone. Carolin noticed how uncomfortable that thought was for her. “Am I disturbing you?” she asked, somewhat uncertain.

“Uh . . . Carolin?” Rebekka seemed slowly to catch her breath.

“Yes, I . . . should I call back later?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m at a red light now.”

Carolin exhaled, relieved. That didn’t sound like bed. “You’re still en route, on your bicycle?”

“Yes. I was delayed this morning.” Rebekka seemed very relaxed, and Carolin could hear street noises in the background. Cologne was awakening.

What delayed her this morning? Carolin wondered. Did she stay in bed longer than usual? With whom? She shook her head. What business was it of hers? “Then maybe I really should call back later – if you’re still en route.”

“Is it important?” asked Rebekka.

“No, nothing . . . nothing important.” Carolin swallowed. “Just . . . the toaster . . . it’s too big for me, and . . . it had to be much more expensive than my old one. I want to make up the difference to you.”

“The toaster,” repeated Rebekka dully.

Carolin felt awful. It was as though she’d just hit Rebekka. “Yes, it . . . I mean, it has an outrageous number of buttons, and this display . . . I used to have just a really simple model.”

“It’s Gellert’s top of the line,” said Rebekka.

“It looks like it.” Carolin bit her lip again. Now that, too.

“You don’t want it?” asked Rebekka. It seemed like the question wasn’t meant to apply only to the toaster.

“I . . . I used it already.” Carolin swallowed hard. “So I can’t give it back to you, but at least . . . the difference – please, Rebekka.”

“There is no difference,” answered Rebekka tersely. “The light’s turning green, I have to go.” She was gone, off the phone and probably also off to a lightning-fast start from the traffic light.

As often as she hangs up, she could make a profession of it, thought Carolin.

Sighing, she set the phone back on the living room table.

That was the final end to her nonexistent relationship with Rebekka. Presumably.

° ° °

“In principle, I have nothing against someone keeping silent around me now and then,” remarked Melly as she bent briefly over the counter. “I already have to carry on far too many pointless conversations with people who’re half drunk or freshly abandoned and want to cry on my shoulder. But the fact that you’ve been sitting here for an entire hour without saying a word, now that is making me a little nervous.” She regarded Carolin with a look of concern. “Is something up with Ina?”

“Ina?” Carolin looked up, as if she’d never heard the name before. Then she seemed to find her way back to reality. “No, it’s not Ina. She’s coming on Friday, and I’m looking forward to it.”

“Ah, not Ina,” repeated Melly, and a faint smile crept into the corners of her mouth.

“I should just go home,” murmured Carolin absently. She was so lost in her own thoughts, she hadn’t even noticed Melly’s reaction. “If I’m managing to annoy you just with my silence, I’ll come back when I’m feeling more talkative.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I didn’t mean it that way.” Melly shook her head. “You can sit here without saying anything for as long as you like. Do you want another milkshake? Or a cocktail? Half price for happy hour.”

“Is it happy hour already?” Carolin gave a perplexed look past Melly at the clock hanging behind the counter.

“It is, for you,” said Melly.

Carolin had the feeling she was missing something.

“And I’d also make an exception for those two,” laughed Melly, looking at the door that had just opened to admit guests. “If they cheer you up.”

“Cheer you up? How come? What’s up?” Rick, concerned, came over to Carolin, and Anita, following her, stood next to Carolin at the counter and frowned.

“Nothing is up. I don’t know what’s wrong with all of you.” Carolin reacted with irritation. “I’m a little bit overtired, overworked, over-something, that’s all. That happens sometimes. The book fair is coming up. We have tons to do at the publishing house.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling,” said Anita, smiling and wrapping an arm around Carolin’s shoulders. “You just need a good night’s sleep.”

Rick cast a doubtful glance at Melly, and Melly shrugged. “I was just saying, I’d treat you to a cocktail at half price if you’d put a little life in the joint,” she repeated. “Do you want to take me up on it?”

“What? Putting some life in the joint?” Rick laughed. “Anytime.” She looked around the relatively empty café. “The chairs look really good in here.”

“Yes, I think so, too. You did a good job on them.” Melly smiled. “I’ll make you two drinks, all right? With or without alcohol?”

“With,” said Rick.

“Mine without, please,” added Anita.

“And you, Carolin?” Melly tried again to wake Carolin from her trance.

“Nothing,” said Carolin. She looked up. “Or maybe I will after all. That tropical thing you invented recently.”

“I didn’t exactly invent it.” Melly laughed. “I just changed a couple of ingredients in the original recipe.” She glanced at the shelf behind her, where the distilled spirits were displayed. “I have to see whether I have any more curaçao around here.” She disappeared through the kitchen, heading for the storeroom.

Rick slid onto the barstool next to Carolin. “So, there’s that much going on at work?”

Carolin had known Rick long enough to know that that wasn’t the question she’d really wanted to ask. “Yes,” she said, not looking at Rick.

Anita walked around her and stood next to Rick. Rick automatically wrapped an arm around her, as if to protect her, while Anita cuddled up to Rick easily and smiled. She obviously felt comfortable there. “It must be interesting to work for a publisher,” she said. “I love books. That would be my dream.”

“Oh, take my job, please . . .” Carolin groaned. Everyone envied her her job, as if there were nothing better in the world. But lately, she doubted that a great deal. Thomas kept imposing more and more work on her that wasn’t in her area. It felt like he was giving her everything he didn’t feel like doing, no matter whether it was in her job description or not.

“I ‘d take your job in a second,” said Anita. “But I hardly think they’d take me. I’m only trained as a salesgirl.”

“That’s just as much of a business education as mine is, as a publisher’s assistant,” remarked Carolin with a shrug of her shoulders.

“It’s hardly the same thing,” replied Anita. “At least, employers don’t see it that way.” She sighed.

“Would you want to change jobs, then?” asked Rick, astounded. “I thought you liked doing sales.”

“Yes, I do, in a way . . .” Anita shrugged. “I enjoy making recommendations to customers, and I like fabrics, fashion accessories, that kind of thing. But being able to sit down for a couple of hours every day, there’s something to be said for that.”

“Oh, you can do plenty of that at a publishing house.” Carolin took a deep breath. “I never get to do anything else.” A thoughtful expression crossed her face. “Saleswoman . . .” she repeated musingly. “Does it really matter what you sell?”

“Well, theoretically . . .” Anita answered with a nod. “I’ve sold just about everything. We have to help out in the different departments, you know, and during my training, I went everywhere. But tools aren’t really my thing.” She smiled uncertainly.

“No, I was thinking . . . books.” Carolin looked questioning. “We’re still looking for hostesses for the book fair. Thomas is even trying to force that on me, and I’m fighting it tooth and nail. But if I don’t find someone . . .” She let out a distasteful sigh. “I hate the book fair. And during the downtime when everyone is there, I could update my spreadsheets ever so nicely. But if I have to go to the fair . . .”

Anita stared at her. “You mean . . . I could . . .?”

“It would only be a temp job,” nodded Carolin. “Just a couple of days. Not permanent. But if you’re so into books . . . I would be insanely grateful to you.”

“I don’t know if I can get vacation time that fast,” Anita reflected doubtfully, “but I can try. That would be a dream come true for me.” She beamed at Rick, then turned her gaze back to Carolin. “And you really don’t want to –?”

“Oh, no! No, thanks.” Carolin lifted her hands defensively. “How soon can you find out whether you can get the time off?”

“Tomorrow,” replied Anita excitedly. “I’ll ask first thing tomorrow morning.” She flung her arms around Rick’s neck in sheer enthusiasm and kissed her happily on the lips.

Rick looked at Anita and said, “Ina’s coming this weekend?” She scrutinized Carolin with a peculiar intensity.

Carolin nodded. “Yes, as always.”

“Isn’t that difficult, a long distance relationship like that?” Anita frowned. “What does that feel like, all week long?”

“It’s okay,” replied Carolin a bit hesitantly. “We talk on the phone every day, and right now I have a lot of work to do, so I hardly get a chance to think about it.”

“Maybe that’s good,” said Rick. Her gaze wandered to the ceiling. “Thinking about things too much sometimes just causes trouble.”

“I found it!” Melly returned from the storeroom brandishing a bottle of a dazzling blue liquid. “The last one.” She began mixing the cocktails. “Well, I thought we’d have a dancing bear in here by now,” she continued, laughing. “You all were going to inject some fun into the atmosphere.” She looked at Rick.

Rick screwed up her mouth. “Well, maybe I promised a bit too much.”

“Or maybe not.” Anita let go of Rick and went to the jukebox. She chose a song, and a moment later, its bright sound overwhelmed the soft background music that had previously lent the premises a more classical and sedate atmosphere.

Melly muted the stereo system and looked over at Anita. Then she grinned at Rick. “I believe she’s waiting for you.”

Anita’s facial expression did indeed indicate that. Rick got up, walked up to Anita, bowed, and smiled at her. “May I have this dance?”

Anita’s smile glided into Rick’s arms with the rest of her. “With pleasure,” she said.

Melly observed the pair as they began to dance, then lined up the cocktails she’d mixed on the bar, one of them in front of Carolin. “They’re a cute couple, those two,” she said, somewhat reflectively.

Carolin sighed. “Is that enough, being a cute couple?” She sipped at her cocktail.

Melly looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, it’s just a thought.” Carolin shrugged. “There are lots of pretty women in the world – and lots of cute couples.” Apparently disinterested, she sank back into her preoccupation with her cocktail glass.

“Just in general?” Melly raised her eyebrows and studied her. “Or are you thinking of any especially pretty woman in particular?”

“Ina is very pretty,” replied Carolin vaguely, without looking at Melly.

“That she is.” Melly pursed her lips. “And the two of you are a cute couple also.”

“That’s what I said.” Carolin was still avoiding looking up.

“Hmm.” Melly didn’t seem satisfied, but she said nothing further.

“Rick was with Thea, and before that with you – and now she’s with Anita,” continued Carolin, as though she were talking to herself.

“We weren’t together,” contradicted Melly immediately. “Only –” she looked over at Rick. “Only one night.”

“I know,” said Carolin. “You don’t get involved in long-term relationships.” She sighed. “Maybe that’s best.”

“How did you decide that all of a sudden?” Melly seemed astonished. “Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted: a permanent relationship? With a woman you love?”

“Yes, with one woman.” Carolin poked around in her cocktail with the straw. “What I was trying to say is that Rick has always ended things with one woman before she got involved with another, she was never simultaneously –”

“Oh, good grief, Carolin, you can’t be serious?” Melly stared at her. “How long have you been with Ina now?” She shook her head. “I always thought you were – well, I thought you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with an open relationship, the way I understood you.”

“And I don’t.” Carolin took a deep breath and another swallow. “This drink is outstanding.” She smiled at Melly.

“You don’t? Then what’s all this talk about?” asked Melly. “No diversions. I know the cocktail is good. I’m rather proud of it.”

“As you should be.” Carolin looked over at Rick and Anita, who were still dancing. Anita rested contentedly in Rick’s arms, and Rick smiled down at her as though she were rocking a child. “Maybe it’s simpler when you’re not in love,” she mused.

Melly followed her gaze and hesitated for a moment. “Sure it is.”

“Why did you do it, Melly?” asked Carolin. “Holding Rick at arm’s length and letting her starve? You broke her heart.”

“I . . . no,” Melly replied tonelessly. “Just look at her. She’s much better off without me.” She turned around and went into the kitchen.