C25 Lost

In the darkness, a soundless sob, I used the darkness to hide my vulnerability.

In this most vulnerable moment, I felt lonely, a deep loneliness, let my heart of killing slowly subside. They have families, parents, and friends. In the past, I was no different from them, but now, they are going to die in my hands! I can't bear it! They were only bewitched, they didn't deserve to die! They are about the same age as me. We should have been listening to teacher's lecture without worry, unlike now where we are holding blades and fighting with our lives.

My heart is in chaos … In the past, I was naive, innocent, and guilty of murder. I have always followed the teachings given to me by my father and mother. But now? Where did I leave them?

Perhaps the last bit of my conscience was fighting the evil in my heart, but I suddenly realized that the world had changed, that it was no longer the world I knew, that the innocence, the smiles, were no longer there.

The world had changed. It had become so dark, so dark.

Tears in my eyes, I step out, step by step, out of the darkness, to where there is only a little light.

"Zhang Fugui! That's Zhang Fugui! "

Someone saw me, screamed, took out a weapon, and stared at me with fear and hatred.

They are sad because their hatred should not be mine. I was luckier than they were because I knew who I should hate.

With someone taking the lead, the remaining people instantly stood up and took precautions.

They saw me in the faint light of the mouth of the valley. I saw many of them suck in a cold breath, and some of the female disciples even vomited.

I stopped and looked at myself. Indeed, my white clothes had already been dyed dark red and stuck closely to my body. My hands were covered in blood and my nails had grown to just over half an inch in the past few days. His long hair was in disarray, his blood mixed with his hair, condensing into pieces. His entire body was reeking of blood and stench, as if he were a demon that had crawled out from hell.

I smiled bitterly.

"That's Zhang Fugui! He's the one who killed so many of our fellow disciples! "

"You god of plague! If it weren't for you, how could we have ended up like this! "

"You are a demon! Return my brother's life! "

"Why aren't you dead yet! I curse you to die a horrible death! "

"… …" Those words were heartbreaking, straightforward, and plain. They were all insults and curses to me.

They don't understand me, because it's the same, they also don't understand themselves, and this is the difference between them and me, but I hope that I would rather become them, because they, and their companions, and also trust me, I, will always be alone, fighting alone, bleeding alone, enduring the darkness of the world alone … " "I, want to go home …"

A hoarse voice rolled out of my throat, clear and distinct in this dead valley.

Someone was silent, looking at me, and the shaking in their hearts made them lower their weapons. Amongst them, there were still many whose eyes were red with tears flowing down their cheeks. Just because of a single sentence, they returned home … That was the warmest and most nostalgic place in everyone's heart. This soft holy land contained their hopes and memories.

"I also want to go home and return to the Eighth Peak, but you … you're not worthy!"

You are not worthy! You are not worthy! You are not worthy!

These three words echoed within the valley, suppressing all the sobbing sounds. It was extremely ear-piercing.

I raised my eyes to look at him. It was a young man, his white robes revealing his noble identity. His slender sword was as cold and full of killing intent as his eyes.

"How many people did you kill? How many of our fellow disciples were killed? They had a home, too, and they wanted to go home! But you, it's you who made it so they can never go home again! "

The young man's roar gradually caused everyone's red eyes to turn even redder. However, what they revealed this time wasn't grief, but instead hatred, rage, and killing intent!

I shook my head. "I don't want to kill anyone, this isn't my fault. It's Autumn Festival. He's the one who …"

"You don't want to kill people! But how much did you kill? Your life, is your life, their life, is not life! Is your life worth so many lives? "Answer me!"

"You're right, but what's wrong with them!?" You want to live, they want to live! Why didn't you give up your life to save them? "Answer me!"

"Look at the people here. They came to this land of death filled with despair because of you. They all came back because of the death of innocent people. Don't you regret it? "Answer me!"

Answer me! Answer me! Answer me! As if a hammer was hammering at my heart, I suddenly felt that I was so selfish, so evil, so ugly!

I was stunned. That's right, my life, is also only my life. Everyone has a life, so I shouldn't be the one to reap it. Like them, I'm the same. They only want to survive. They want to live, they want to kill me, but how many people have I killed for the sake of living?

I lowered my head to look at the bloodstained clothes on my body. There was some of my blood, but most of it was the blood of others! Why do I have to watch my parents die in front of me without a choice? Why do I have to bear a sea of blood and not be able to avenge myself? Why do I have to suffer so much before I do anything! But they, they didn't do anything and died for nothing. The injustice of heaven caused me to suffer so much, to bring so much pain to others!

I looked at my hands and the dark red lines on my palms. I looked at the black color that reeked of blood from my fingernails.

"Why? Why! "Why …"

I yelled up at the sky, the gray sky suddenly turned red, two drops of tears fell from the corners of my eyes, it was red! I screamed and clutched my head with both hands. Blood dripped down my nails and I couldn't seem to feel the pain, because the pain was worse than the pain in my heart!

In a trance, I saw them charge over one by one. Their sinister expressions, the anger from gritting their teeth, and that young man's sinister smile … I don't care, I don't want to resist. I just thought, why, why, why, I have even forgotten the reason, why would I ask, what would I ask, what did I ask … It was just a simple repeat. Why?!

Blood continued to flow from the corner of my mouth, even my nose, my ears, my eyes. I just kept staring at the sky, watching the dark clouds rolling over the valley, as if I was laughing, laughing at my childishness, laughing at my fragility.

As my consciousness dissipated, I suddenly felt like I was in a dense fog. There was no sky above, and no ground below. There were no mountains, no water, no people, only endless fog and me.

I don't have him in my head. I just shuffle forward, step by step. I don't know why I want to go. I just feel like I'm still alive.

I don't know how long I walked. I wanted to stop, but I didn't feel tired, nor did I want to stop. It was as if there was a will that kept me going.

My eyes were lifeless. Perhaps it was because there was only white mist around me, but I closed most of my eyelids and, like a walking corpse, staggered towards a place in my consciousness that might or might not exist.

The path ahead of me was still shrouded in white fog, as if I was just walking on the spot. However, after walking for an unknown amount of time, my eyelids twitched, as if my life was about to begin. Slowly I opened my eyes. I didn't know if I had heard wrong, but I could hear the sound of running water in front of me and children playing. My lips moved, but there was no sound. The sound of running water and the flow of water from Peace Village seemed … I tried to speed up, but my body was too heavy and I could only maintain my pace. Slowly, the fog thinned, and the world in front of us became clear. I saw a child, a little shy, timidly leaning against a tree, looking at a group of children playing in the distance.

When the child saw me, there was a touch of fear in his eyes, but it was fleeting, and he strode toward me, took my hand, and led me into the woods. That child's hand was very warm. It carried a sense of unfamiliarity, but also a sense of unfamiliarity.

The corner of my mouth slowly revealed a trace of a smile. My tense mind calmed down, and I felt my body relax. It wasn't as stiff as before. When I walked, it actually seemed a little lighter. When the child saw me acting like this, he brightly smiled and increased his speed.

There were no birds chirping or insects chirping in the forest. There were many large trees with many sacks hanging from them. It was unknown what they were carrying. The child stopped and shushed me. Just as I was about to nod my head, my chest turned cold. A short sword pierced my heart. I fell down, a smile still on my lips, but I was conscious of it, and only felt a tingle in my chest, an itch.

The child evilly smiled and pulled out his dagger. Blood gushed out and splattered onto his body and face. He licked the blood from the corner of his mouth and rummaged through my pockets, but found nothing. In the end, he put me in a gunny sack, leaving only my head outside, and hung me on a tree. I don't even know why his strength is so great … He left, and I looked up at the sky as if my body were dead, and could only keep my eyes open, looking at the sky, and at the clouds swirling about in the sky. After an unknown period of time, the fog started to grow thicker and thicker. Not long after, the stars disappeared and the sun and moon disappeared. My surroundings returned to a vast expanse of whiteness.

I slowly got up. The wound was no longer bleeding, and I didn't know if it was dry, but my heart was still beating, even though there was no warmth in my body.

I kept walking as if I were walking. My heart was tired, and I wanted to close my eyes to sleep, but my eyelids were heavy and I couldn't close them completely. I just kept walking, walking.

A faint sound came from the front and a light flashed in my eyes as I slowly walked over. This time, it wasn't a village but a battlefield, I saw rivers of blood, I saw bodies strewn everywhere, I saw a few people fighting desperately, they weren't mortals, they were cultivators, all kinds of dazzling magic flew everywhere, and there were even remnants of energy bombarding me, but I didn't feel any pain, I didn't even feel anything.

Laughter sounded in his ears. This laughter was filled with satisfaction and hatred. I looked up and saw nothing but a red full moon, but my body was floating, and the people who fought were getting smaller and smaller until I could barely see them. Finally, I saw the person who was laughing. All I could see was a man with a head full of white hair, but his skin was very smooth and he looked very handsome. However, there was evil in the corners of his eyes, causing him to give off an indescribable feeling of fear.

That person saw me and stopped laughing. He turned around and met my eyes silently. I saw a familiar shadow on him. It was the child who killed me! The man beckoned to me, and I walked over and stood facing him, a foot or so away.

The man stared at me and slowly smiled. He took a step forward, as if he was one with me. However, there was not a single trace of surprise in my heart. Not even a single ripple appeared.

In that instant, it was as if I had changed!

Smoke billowed on the ground, and under the reflection of the blood moon, it was filled with death and evil. Gradually, a smile appeared on the corner of my mouth, and it slowly turned into a hearty laugh, as if I was very carefree, very happy …