C22

MILLIE

Nine Years Old.

"Billy!"

I shout after my elder brother as he rides his bike at full speed, I try to catch up to him but he's too fast.

The wind slaps me on the face, blowing my hair in all directions.

"Billy! slow down!"

he looks back at me over his shoulder and grins widely.

Billy was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago,when my parents go out for work,I'm expected to take good care of my brother. Riding is the last thing he should be doing,but when he begged me to treat him like a normal person and not some sick delicate person,I finally melted and brought the keys to the room where our bikes where locked up.

"Don't be such a baby Mills," he looks over his shoulder and smiles.

I hate it when he calls me that, so he does it on purpose.

Suddenly,I see a car driving in our direction at full speed. A full panic mode grips me.

"Billy,move away from the road."

The moment he looks ahead,he diverts away from the road but the car seems to follow him. I catch up to him and grab the back of his t-shirt then fling him backwards,the motion sends us both flying to the ground with a loud thump.

"Ouch." I scream as agonizing pain shoots up my hip and my entire left side.

"Move Billy." I push at his body but he doesn't budge. "Billy." I place my hand under his head so that I can turn him over when something sticky clings to my fingers,I lift them to my face and red liquid drips from them.

"No no no no." I turn Billy's body upwards and see a cut on his forehead,he's not moving. I place my shaky hand on his chest holding my breath. Thankfully,his heart is still beating, I release a breath of relief.

The sound of a window sliding down has my eyes snapping up. An older man, almost papa's age stares back at me,I can't see his entire face because of the window covering half of it,but his eyes. His eyes are dark and hard,his black hair is pushed back slickly with gel and shiny with what seems to be expensive hair spray.

The need to protect Billy grips me from no where,I don't know why I feel the need to protect him from the cold eyed man.

Bill,I shake him again but his eyes don't open, suddenly,I hear the man whisper,

"Millie.."

My head snaps up in surprise.

"Who are you?"

He doesn't answer,I try to look at the driver side but the car windows are tinted.

"What do you want from us?!"

Still no reply. I move Billy carefully,the minute I stand, the window slides up and the car drives off. I stand there, staring at it as it disapears down the road. I snap out of it and move back to Billy

"Hold on Billy,I'll get help okay?" I whisper in a panic trembling voice.

I run as fast as I can,the first house I see is where I run to. I bang on the door with a fisted hand but there's no response,I bang again four times none stop. I'm about to do it again when the door flies opens and man who seems to be in his mid thirties looks down at me with a scowl.

"Why the heck are you knocking on my door like a fucking cop?"

I don't know what he sees on my face because the scowl he has vanishes.

"Hey kid,are you okay? you look like you've seen a ghost."

"P-please help me,my brother is hurt,he's bleeding from the head,please help him."

"Shit,hold on." he dissapeares into the house and comes back within a minute with keys in his hands.

"Come on,show me where he is."

"This way." I start running back to where I left Billy,the man follows closely behind me.

When we reach the place,what I find shocks me.

"Where is he?" he asks

"He was here,he was right here when I left," I frown in confusion

"There's no one here."

"I swear he was,I left him here unconscious,we were riding our bikes when a car almost ran us over."

"Kid," he takes in a deep breath, probably mastering patience. "You said someone was hurt,am I right? and then there's no one here,this better not be a prank."

"No,it's not,he was right here,our bikes are over ther-" my sentence cuts short when I point where the bikes were and find them gone.

"Wait," I move to the spot where I last saw them. "They were right here,I left them here I promise."

I look up at the man and find him staring at me like I'm crazy or just hallucinating.

I place my hand over my mouth, covering it,then I whisper.

"Where are you Billy?"

"Look,if what you said is true,then I think we should let the cops know about this,come with me,I'll take you to the police station."

He grabs my wrist and leads me back to his house,he gets me in the car and drives me to the police station.

I slump back in the seat,my short legs barely touching the floor. I've been siting in this room in the police station for close to an hour. The door opens and my parents rush in,I jump from the seat and rush towards mother,who crouches. I wrap my hands around her neck and burry my face in her shirt.

"Oh sweetie,I almost died of a heart attack when I received a call that you're in police custody." she kisses my cheek and then my temple. "Where is your brother?"

They both look around.

"They didn't tell you?"

"Tell us...what?"

"Billy is gone."

"What? what do you mean Billy is gone?"

"We were riding our bikes after the two of you left,Billy insisted, so I took him for one ride and a car almost hit him,it seemed intentional,the man even called my name."

Dad freezes,then he and mother look at each other as though they are having a silent conversation.

I Explain to them everything that happened.

"It's all my fault,you told us not to and we disobeyed,now Billy is hurt and gone."

Mom stands and then dad takes her position.

"It's not your fault,don't blame yourself,we are going to find your brother princess,I promise you that," he assures me.

*Hours Later*

Dad has been gone for five hours,he left all sweaty and in a panic,mother tried to stop him but he didn't listen,when she came back to my room with red puffy eyes,my guiltiness multiplied.

We've been cuddled up on the sofa with mother,waiting for him to return.

The door opens and he walks in all sweaty with a hard expression on his face,mom stands abruptly.

"George,I was so worried,where have you been?" she places her hands on his cheeks but he moves away from her. "George.." she tries again.

"Stop! Just stop Lydia,you know it's not going to be okay,so don't fucking tell me it will. It's not going to be okay until..." He stops when he finds me staring at him with teary eyes and squeezing my teddy bear to my chest.

This is the first time my father has ever spoken to mother like this.

"I will find my boy,and when I do,pray that God forgives me for what I will do." He lowers his voice but something feels like him raising it was better than this tone.

This version of him is scaring me and I've never been scared of him,ever.

*PRESENT*

"Billy?"

"Billy?"

My eyes flash open and I find golden brown ones watching me with a scowl.

I look around the place and realize it's my dorm room,my eyes move back to Logan,who's seated on a chair.

"What are you doing here?" I look at the clock and it's two in the morning.

"You passed out after I gave you countless orgasms," he says in a bored voice as though we are talking about coffee.

My cheeks redden and I pull the sheets up to my chin. Did I really pass out? I never thought hands would do so much ruin to a body, Logan's fingers gave me something I've never wanted before. The thought of needing more starts to scare me,I clench my thighs at the reminder of how he thrust inside me unapologetically.

"What are you thinking about dimples?"

My eyes snap to his and I'm sure the red on my cheeks has increased.

"Nothing."

He eyes me knowingly but remains silent and I'm thankful for that.

"Why are you still here?"

"I was watching you sleep," he says smoothly.

If he heard anything from the nightmare I just had,then he doesn't give a crap. Disappointment settles at the pit of my stomach at the thought of him not caring about me in that sense,but that feeling immediately fades. My past is not something I like to talk about and Logan is the last person I want to let in.

His phone vibrates and he frowns when he reads whatever text he just received. He stands and grabs his jacket,ready to leave.

He kisses the top of my head.

"See you later dimples."

I sit there with a gaping mouth,was that genuine affection he just showed me?

When he walks out the door and closes it behind him,I smile to myself then lay back down,I turn over to the other side and a picture of me,Mia and Lia comes into view. My smile vanishes and guilt takes over, a tear slides down my cheek at the realization of what I'd just done.

"I'm so sorry Mia," I whisper. "I'm so sorry,I'll never hurt you again."

Mia might not know about this, but it would break her,I've hurt her without her knowing it and I will never let her find out. Because this thing? Whatever happened between me and Logan, will never happen again. That I promise.