C1 I Don't Want To Hurt You

"I'm sorry. I just woke up one day, and I found myself that I don't feel the same way anymore," Paul said, unable to look into her eyes. These were the words that suddenly escaped from her boyfriend's lips. It was as if it was real, bringing a lot of confusion inside her. However, she chose to be quiet for a couple of minutes and absorb everything he had said.

Paul's eyes looked so sad while he stared at her. After uttering those words, he looked away from her. Alice burst out in laughter, then clapped her hands. Paul's eyebrows were drawn together; confusion was all over his face.

"You have improved a lot. Is that a line for a new role?" She innocently asked Paul. Trying to stay calm and relaxed, her voice wouldn't sound affected by her boyfriend's words. She wanted to believe this was just part of his audition piece.

Paul looked at her, shaking his head as he held her shoulders. "Alice, listen to me, please," he said in a low voice, trying to meet her eyes. "I don't know how to explain it to you, but..." He paused, as if he couldn't continue whatever he was trying to say.

Alice's heart started beating fast while looking at Paul with a lot of questions in her heart. Perhaps her boyfriend was rehearsing the next piece he needed for his audition, and she must admit he was doing well; his words were full of emotion.

Paul loved being an actor, so he always went to auditions when he was available. Alice faced him with sadness in her eyes and heart, wanting to help her boyfriend.

"What do you mean?" She said, eyebrows knitted together. "Please enlighten me. I couldn't understand what you were trying to say," she added while looking directly at Paul.

She couldn't understand, but she felt strange when their eyes locked. She couldn't explain the emotions she could see in his eyes; it was as if everything was true.

It took a couple of seconds for Paul to react to what she said. She saw how Paul's Adam's apple moved upward and downward. It was as if he was feeling tense because of how their conversation was going.

But wasn't this just part of his rehearsal? Why did she suddenly feel different when their eyes met?

"Alice, I am sorry, but this isn't just a rehearsal. This is what I am feeling right now. I am sorry, but I think I am no longer happy with our relationship. I don't know how it happened and when it happened. Just like I said, there's just this one day I found out myself that I couldn't feel the happiness I used to feel when I am with you, and I don't want to hide this from you. I don't want to act as if nothing has changed on my part and let you believe that everything is fine between us," he said to her and then bowed his head.

Alice felt like a bucket of cold water was poured onto her. She wanted to pinch herself, thinking that she might just be in a dream and having a nightmare.

She couldn't tell what was happening, whether it was true or just an act. She couldn't figure out whether Paul's words were just part of his script or if they were all true. She couldn't believe that the man fell out of love with her. How could that happen?

Her mind was in turmoil.

They had been in a relationship since they were in college. So, what was he talking about? She was shocked and couldn't find the right words to say to Paul.

She tried to lift the cup of coffee that they ordered when they arrived earlier at the coffee shop, but she accidentally spilled it on herself.

She felt the hot water on her skin. It meant this was reality.

Paul didn't even bother to help her wipe the coffee that spilled on her. The man let her do it herself.

With trembling hands, she grabbed a tissue from the top of the table and wiped the coffee from her pants.

After she was done, she took a deep breath. She was hoping that at the last second, Paul would say that this was just a prank. She was praying that the man was playing a trick on her, and everything that was happening was just part of his games.

She swallowed a lump in her throat as she tried to search for the words that she was going to say to her longtime boyfriend and soon-to-be ex-boyfriend if she couldn't fix what was happening with them.

Alice cleared her throat. She needed to be brave and make things clear to this man in front of her.

Though she could feel her heart beating so fast, she still wanted to clarify everything with Paul.

She looked into his eyes, but she could see that the man couldn't stand her look, and from there, she knew that something was already wrong with her boyfriend.

But before she could even start to speak, Paul opened his mouth and spoke again.

"Alice, I know that we have been together for almost three years, and I am sorry if we will be ending our relationship just like this. I want to be honest with you. To myself. I don't want to continue this relationship anymore, and then both of us would suffer. I don't want us to fight every day because I could no longer return the love that you have for me. I want to end this as early as now while we still have respect for each other. You have been so good to me, and I don't want to hurt you. I want us to be friends, to be good friends," Paul said, leaving her dumbfounded.