C2 Black Storm

It was a sultry June evening, but there was no wind. The forest in the distance, the nearby trees, and the crops in the fields were all standing still, as if they were waiting for something. There was no one on the beach, only me shuffling slowly along, a long footmark behind me, like the pain of my journey.

That many past, like a piece of wind swaying peach forest, the green wave like a wave submerged my thoughts, it is happiness, is sweet

I was like a fish that had lost its way on the beach, and could no longer find the happy memories of its youth!

The end of the western sea is a setting sun, piles of black clouds, slowly submerge in my memory of the beautiful and tempting green fruit, it is like my furry youth, greedily chewing the sweet and sour green! I remembered the taste of it on my tongue, watching the dark clouds rising from the horizon in the west, letting it slowly drown the last rays of light in the world.

If one could really forget casually, then perhaps it would be a kind of happiness, because when you were lost in the past, struggling with the pain of memory, there was nothing more sudden and ethereal than a cup of water that made you fly out of the world like a bird in the clouds. Those emotions, those desires, were just fruits that had already rotted in the peach forest.

However, can you really be so free and easy when you are using all your strength to fight against your memories?

I looked into the distance, as if trying to see through the vast Pacific Ocean. I knew that people's memories were like the ocean water, they wouldn't easily dry up. That kind of love was like the nature of the ocean water, it couldn't withstand even the faintest of breezes! We are once again bumping through the wrinkles of the waves!

My thoughts are still struggling in the past, it is endless love, and of course also greedy desire! It was a selfless offer, and a selfish demand, of course! I wondered if, at the far end of the morning, the clouds had already begun to glow, and if my lover, like me, was gazing at the same sun.

Reunion and separation, why is the beginning and the end so different? In my long thoughts, time has convinced me that love and hate, disfigurement and fulfillment are both derived from the same seed, the seed of love that was accidentally planted, I have forgotten how long it has been going through, but I am sure that it is like a tree swaying in the wind and rain of shifting time.

How do I pull out the roots when those memories, those unforgettable loves, those passionate desires, stick into our veins? I stare into the distance, and the waves of youthful love seem to turn back into tears that gush out of my eyes.

Even this beautiful and magnificent scene failed to dispel the melancholy and depression in my heart, for in my mind there was a haze more difficult to dispel than these dark clouds, and a love more magnificent and selfless than this brilliant sunset. I thought again of her lily-like body, turning in my arms, her sweet crooning like the most beautiful music in the world, lingering in my soul, but now the clouds were about to swallow up the sunset, as if my former desires had swallowed my youth and ravaged my lover with deceit and madness! I took the flesh of their youth and their holy love in this filthy way! All that remained in my heart was a repentance, a bitter heart, as if the wind and the storm were about to wash over this beautiful world, and I believed that the true darkness came not from the western horizon, but from our heart, which was manipulated by desire.

I stared silently into the distance, where silver threads of light were streaking through the rolling clouds. It was so brilliant, so like the sparks of love that once collided in my heart, like the happy lightning that my mad snake of desire took from the flesh and soul of its lover! It was still burning fiercely, but now it would come to my world with a cold storm, washing away the passion in my heart, and why beautiful dreams were always so fragile in the changing winds of the world.

Love, why can't endure the bumps of desire, instantly overturned in the boundless sea floor! Buried us in the abyss of pain and regret! Had I been pure as a green fruit in my youth, and had I only gained the satisfaction of the body, and the depravity of the soul?

The brilliant setting sun in the distance was still struggling with the dark clouds. The strong rays of light scattered across the sea like ripples from a sharp sword. How familiar was the clouds and the setting sun? How beautiful and magnificent it had been in my heart! It was like the heart of my youth; it was like I had been filled with endless expectations and fantasies about life.

Isn't that so? Wasn't every person's youth burning fiercely? Because I believe that youth is like a bonfire in a field, as long as you hold the spark in your heart, one day it will burn into a raging flame.

But now I'm really tired, I want to stop walking, I want to face this magnificent sea and beg it to wash away my waiting torment and my past sin!

Because in this long period of time, I was like a gray bat that didn't belong to the day or the night. I wandered endlessly on the edge of humanity, my world was like a desert filled with sand, making people unable to breathe in the color of their lives.

The beautiful memories, the brilliant light and the lonely frustration of this nostalgia, at the same time entangled in my mind, let me want to stop. No one knows what kind of happiness I've experienced, because I don't know how other people have loved, but for me, a person with a little trouble in his head, this shouldn't be a mistake, it shouldn't be a fear of being mocked.

Remembering the sweetness of the past, I stood there and stared into the distance, letting the sea of memories haunt my mind once again, letting the outside world change. Reminiscence was perhaps the best mental placebo for the weak, perhaps the happiest delicacy.

Well, I also know that those who are strong on the outside tend to indulge in dreams of reminiscence. However, there are a few people who are willing to admit their cowardice. Perhaps being loyal is their best excuse, but I have already lost this one and only, hypocritical face!

However, it was different when one was born. There were people who could deal with countless women, and there were people who could ride the wall between countless men. This was what made them happy, happy, and proud. But what could be done about people blaming themselves for stealing a neighbor's fruit? Fish are born to swim, and mice are born to burrow. This is their gift and their hobby.

If you don't have the ability to defeat your own conscience, then you might as well keep your own one and only!

As for me, it seemed that I could only silently converse with someone who could not speak. I spoke a language that no one understood and repeatedly chewed on the memories that no longer had a trace of sweetness. Ah, how foolish it is for a man to lose his sagacity! Ah, how pitiful it was for those who, in the dark, painfully remembered the good old days!

Perhaps when the heat of love is gone, the only true philosophy is to light another, warmer fire. Nature's great beauty lives forever in the cells of nervous joy. The lovely face of a lover can only be felt with a kiss of the lips.

That cold beauty could never replace even the lightest kiss of a lover — because no matter how gentle the spring breeze was, it could never replace the warmth that passed from the fingertips of a lover to the palm of his hand.

Ah, great nature, you give people infinite beauty, and also give people endless loneliness. Why can't I be detached, to put you deep in my heart.

Staring into the distance, I let the gentle curves of my lover take over every cell of my body. I never said another word, and I didn't want to cry out the oppression and pain in my heart.

Maybe you don't understand why love consumes its youth in a person's shadow, but I believe that only the white clouds that float across the blue sky know the height of the blue sky, and only those who lose their light know the darkness without light, because love is the light in the darkness, the spring in the desert, the most beautiful spring in youth.

But I, like a winter sparrow, guard the peach orchard that no longer has a green leaf, bored as a discarded wildcat.

Ah, has my passionate youth aged in this short time? Even in the face of this magnificent painting from the hand of God, I did not arouse my sense of beauty, ah, cold! Now my soul is so numb.

It is no wonder that some people say that when human beings lose their love, it is like God losing his eyes. I think again of my lover's hair, gently blown by the breeze, and how she snuggled up against my chest...

Time seemed to stop again, and I felt as if something had taken away my heart. It was pain, it was emptiness, it was fire, it was cold, I couldn't even tell what it was … Yes, if I had no love in my heart, what would I rely on for my indulgent passions, and what would they exist for, then what would it be. The pain in my heart I do not want others to understand, because there may always be a world between the human heart and the human heart. I am so determined and bitterly looking for, waiting, perhaps forever waiting...

What happened just now seems to be yesterday. Although it has been many years, I believe that it only lasted for a moment. Those memories seemed to be happening right in front of my eyes. I was still unable to part with her, and the image of me falling asleep at night strongly occupied my mind. Those experiences are beautiful, romantic, perhaps because no beauty can surpass that pain, so I deeply miss it.

Mentioning those memories would make me sound like an old man talking to himself, even though I was still so young that I wouldn't have to suffer so much. However, that anesthetic state was a bit unconsciousness. If it wasn't sometimes heart-wrenching, one really wouldn't think that excessive immersion in the past was also a kind of sickness.

In this state, I sometimes feel that I am no longer able to bear the loss of loneliness and pain, this kind of inescapable longing and love net, may completely defeat me.

The body of youth was still burning like flames, and the desire to miss was still boiling like the sea under the scorching wind. This test of water and fire was not something that youth could withstand. Sometimes I actually break down and give up, even if it's just for a single indulgence, and I can tear away the past completely and make the annoying past disappear like a thin piece of paper on a roaring sea …

But last night, I once again in a dream near Zhu Tong's heart, ah, I forgot to tell you, Zhu Tong Xin, is my lover's name, this is how popular ah! Why should all the good things in the world be concentrated in one person?

In this originally vast and colorful world, why did a person's memories always focus on one point? It was as if the farmer was always in his land, using his rough hands to straighten every grain; as if the merchant was hovering between the wells of the city, carefully counting every change with his fingers on the saliva between his lips, and then putting it in its proper place.

But now, my patience is gradually losing, this kind of persistent pain already more than happiness, she left me only cold! But whether it was a dream or reality, I could still feel the smell of a lover floating in the air near her house. There used to be the oxygen of our lives, and the air was always so fresh and intoxicating, but it wasn't until I woke up from my sleep that the emptiness completely enveloped me — it made me feel so lost.

I lingered in the memory for a while longer, then resolutely want to completely forget those love, those missing desire! Thinking of this, I suddenly stood up and let it go.

But now, the sea breeze was gradually getting bigger. The endless waves were crashing against the beach, making deafening noises, and the foam on the waves was flying towards my face in a cool manner. The clouds in the distance were more crowded, the sun was gone, the world was in chaos, and I knew the darkness was coming, that it was going to swallow me.

But I was still looking into the distance, to show my strength, and my heart was churning with the sea, 'I can't let that love sink in.' But what about my love? It's gone! But my heart? It had been torn to pieces! Those memories had already turned into dust, submerged in the surging waves of the sea! How could it possibly return to the beginning! Who would give it back to me in its entirety …

The dark clouds gradually accumulated. The sunlight from the sword had long since disappeared. The sea breeze gradually became violent. It was obvious that there was going to be a storm.

But I still didn't want to go home. It made me feel better in this environment. My mind is still lost in memories of the past... Zhu Tong's heart, such a familiar name, such a familiar beauty.

Whenever the name of Zhu Tong's heart flashed through my mind, my heart would convulse with joy, grief, loneliness, laughter, madness, and madness. Ah! That love gave people a whole world, and took away a whole world!

In that instant, the world was suddenly gone. The sun, the wind, the green leaves, everything was gone, like a gambler who had lost everything, like a drug addict who had just awoken from a strange world. I felt so strange, so dispirited, that the feeling of losing love made me keep searching for the past, as if I were searching for my casino and my opium poppy.

Countless scenes constantly flashed by. They were Zhu Tong's burning eyes, burning kiss, and passion from her youth. But in that instant, another youthful body rolled in my embrace. Her round breasts, sparse orchid grass, and newly bloomed petals of lily … Ah, this is the source of my lies, this is the most delicious poison in my wild youth...

"Ah!" My body trembled a few times in the cold sea breeze, and I suddenly felt a sharp dizziness, as if I was experiencing the same happiness as before death. In the dusky world, I could no longer control myself, so I shouted, "Zhu Tongxin, Zhu Tongxin, Tongxin, where are you?

My unbridled shout was like that of an epileptic in a violent seizure... But my voice was so faint that it was lost in the dark. Big drops of rain fell on my body …

"Zhu Tong's heart, I love you. You took away my world, took away my heart …

But I was still unaware of my own precarious situation, still immersed in the memories and pain of the past. I covered my head with one hand and wiped the rain from my face with the other, but in my mouth I muttered, "Sea, aren't you the witness of our love? Didn't you hear our vows? Didn't you go through countless blissful years with us? "

But the waves of the sea were crashing against the shore. Splashing my clothes again and again. I looked weakly up at the sky. At the end of the sea and sky, a long snake-like pattern appeared powerfully. A snow-white ray of light flashed past my eyes. A gale pushed the seawater towards the shore. Suddenly, there was a violent explosion not too far away from me, followed by a sudden downpour of rain.

But then my cell phone suddenly rang, so weak in the wind and rain. But this was the climax of a symphony, so strong and powerful, so out of tune with my mood. In those countless lonely days, it was the music that was like weeping and lingering, the music that was like galloping and howling, the music that accompanied me through the endless night.

I still clearly remember, this phone was many years ago, I bought with her in a southern city, there are many sweet and beautiful pictures of us, it records our love, recorded our beautiful memories. In every endless night, I repeatedly looked at these photos. It was happiness, but also pain, and even more intense longing …

The cries of those souls, to pour out, let me deep into this life of helplessness of the lost. Sometimes I hide in the night silently tears, sometimes quiet stroll, let the shadow of my lover sweet endless surround me, at that time I will firmly believe that Zhu Tong heart will one morning suddenly return, standing in front of me with a true smile.

But now the screaming storm had made the world more powerful. But I didn't answer. The phone stopped ringing, and I thought my mother must have called me because it was raining, and who else in the world but my mother could care about me in this lonely world. Sure enough, the phone rang again, and it was Beethoven's "Destiny" symphony, its powerful knots seeming to evoke my old strength or my old fragility.

I looked up at the shore, not far from the beach park pavilion, and then I looked at the rough sea, I hesitated, there was a lightning bolt in the distance. I suddenly wanted to run to the pavilion on the shore, but all of a sudden the wind and the waves and the heavy rain from the sky came rushing towards me, and the darkness covered my sight, and the sea surrounded me in an instant.

One of the Poems

That day, in the spring, we let love fly

That day, in the sunset, we stepped on the fallen leaves

That day, your smile hid the beauty of winter snow

That day, that day …

That day, there was so much beauty,

Write the years into my memory

I will carve you in my heart

I was so sure that I thought

Love has no end from the beginning

I was so sure that I thought

As long as they hold hands, they can be together forever

I was so sure that I thought

The world of love is always perfect

If he had known earlier, he would not have had the chance to see her again …

Let me search for it

No more traces of you

Why did I have to let go that time?!

leave behind this eternal regret

If he had known earlier, he would not have had the chance to see her again …

Let me search for it

No more news from you

Such heartache …

heartache to regret

Why should we meet in that spring

I love so much that I'm so exhausted

Poem Two

So much resentment

So much attachment

So much hatred

Still entangled

"Ah, what is the purpose of all this?"

Can't love stand the test any longer

So much grief

So much loneliness

So much hesitation

So much confusion

Still entangled

What is the purpose of all this

Is our love still too fragile

Or did you just put me out of your way?!

Ah, it's your love that comforts me and hurts me so much

It's your love that gives me happiness and makes me feel so lost

"Ah, what is the purpose of this?!"

If true love doesn't stay by my side

If it was true love, why did it hurt my heart

Oh, don't let me put up with too much yearning

I cannot bear the weight of this love alone

Oh, don't give me too much of a test

I can't bear to be lost without you