C3 Hallucination of Fear
At that moment, I felt that my life was coming to an end, that I no longer needed this narcissistic selfishness, this love intertwined with pain and happiness. Slowly I hold my breath, relax my limbs, I feel the world has left me, the lover's face is blurred, the lover's passion has faded, the desire is like a quenched flame leaving only black ashes.
I let all my senses go without pain, my tongue no longer tasting the bitterness that filled my chest, not to mention the soft tip of my lover's tongue, and the red of her breasts like peaches in June. My limbs gradually became cold and stiff. I felt that he was floating with the sea water. He would no longer try to catch his lover's hair that was fluttering in the spring breeze …
I could no longer control my will, not even the deafening lightning of the sky, and I would no longer be afraid of being alone, not even in this empty sea. The beauty of the world and the love in my heart have no meaning to me. The lover is just a dead leaf in the arms of another person, he can no longer arouse my wild desire …
This may be God's greatest gift to me, allowing me this chance, the courage, the opportunity to say "No" to the people I love, because my weakness will become the mercy in God's hands, to save the pain and helplessness that flood the earth, and the helpless tree swaying back and forth in the world …
The water was swirling wildly between my nostrils, and the rain was pouring down my face like a shower. It was so cold that it seemed to suck all the heat out of me, as if my heart were about to freeze for the last time. I closed my eyes. I felt that the world was dead, that the sweet tenderness of love had faded, that the lightning was still fiercely swearing its love for the world, as if I had been madly deceiving those who loved me and those whom I loved … But what does it mean to me now? For all the violence was but a brief spasmodic discharge from the universe.
I felt as if I were laughing at the world, even though I had just betrayed them, like a tired john laughing at a crazy companion. " "Ha ha" I seem to have died because I couldn't use my throat to vibrate the air with a voice of arrogance and irony. It made me realize at once that I had been deprived by God of the right to laugh at others...
I was suddenly depressed, because I was going to... I was suddenly terrified, terrified — perhaps I would be thrown ashore by the merciless sea and turn into a rotting, stinking corpse. There are flies, eagles or jackals...
Ah, fear came, and I could no longer imagine my own nobility. It was as if those noble souls had been brought to holy heaven by God. I know that my soul is no longer here, because I can no longer feel my breath and my will is gone …
But when I thought of my weak breath replaced by the tides of the sea, I suddenly felt that my life was full of meaning again, and I thought again of the sun, the beach, the calm, gently rippling water, and the silent forest where once we had sworn our loyalty to love, where I had so easily taken my lover's first time! "AHH!" I seem to burst out laughing again, as if these are the only things I can be proud of! That lover's wild cry seems to be my greatest contribution to this world! But now, I can only recall that moment of happiness, recall that sweet aftertaste...
Just as I was thinking about the most meaningful and noble things, a cold hand lightly climbs onto my chest. It is so cold that it makes one's hair stand on end. 'Scram!' Don't disturb this noble corpse of mine, I am furious.
"Bastard!" "Bastard!" "That's too much bullying!" I almost shouted, but I realized that there was nothing I could do …
"Ah!" "Ah!" "Ah!" "No!" "No!" "No!" Eight, my whole body seems to be tightly tied by iron wire, I feel that my breathing has stopped, I am dead. I was so depressed, I think before I died, my lover loved me so much, she used to be gentle to me with her gentle little hands, so beautiful, so pure, like clear sky white clouds gently float past the clear blue sky, that wonderful feeling gave people endless reverie …
But now, I didn't expect that even before my body's temperature had run out, I would be covered in these damned things that didn't know what they were. A kind of trembling disgust made me suddenly feel extremely disgusted …
Life is really sad! People who wanted to live were often trapped by the greedy lust of status and power, and after death, they were wrapped up by these unknown things over and over again. It was such a great tragedy!
"Get lost... "Scram …" I weakly kept on shouting, because I was always stubborn and unwilling to admit defeat, so I kept on mumbling nonstop. But I felt as if I were being held in the water by something, tugging and tugging, and I felt like a dead fish being dragged around in a net. But soon I felt as if I were in a place.
"Your Majesty …" Look at this guy calling all the way, hey, hey... "How should I punish him?" A mocking laugh seemed to reach my ears. I suddenly felt as if something had released me. I felt like I was floating like a corpse. I suddenly wanted to be tied up by something and not float in such an ugly manner. It was as free as a ball floating in water. There really was no meaning to it. I sighed in inferiority.
"This guy is very emotional, very stubborn. Don't bother with him, just give him some of our 'old wine', it can be counted as a form of respect for him," a voice that was loud like a bell rang out. I tried to open my eyes, but it was dark and I couldn't see anything, but I felt very quiet.
I was trying to find out where I was by all means, but I found out how useless I was. I think I must be dead and in the legendary hell. But I was secretly delighted that Hell also advocated infatuation and loathing of love. Anyway, this was the only thing worth celebrating now.
Just as I was feeling proud, I suddenly felt two cold hands grab me again, pry open my mouth, and pour something down my throat... Suddenly, I felt a heart-wrenching sensation that spread throughout my body in an instant... You bastards, you bastards, what did you give me to drink, what did you drink, don't you have any human rights at all? I cursed in my heart.
'Ha ha... Ha, ha, ha. I heard frightened laughter all around me, so terrible that I felt my hair stand on end.
'You see, this fool is not grateful, my lord, 'I heard the King again. I did not know what sort of king this was, and there was no light, no other sound, perhaps, but I could not feel it.
'Big fool, since you got him here, then save him, give him something, and let him go back. After all, this brat's heart isn't bad, 'is the King's voice,' But remember, time in the world is the most stupid law, time is a moment, time is a circle, if you can't find the center, then you can't determine the time, don't make a mistake, make this kid suffer … '
I wanted to continue listening, but at this moment, I felt an intense pain in my head. I felt numb, and I immediately fainted …
I didn't know how much time had passed, or whether it was a few days, or even a few years. I didn't know where, but I suddenly felt an incomparable cold.
Everything felt like I had just woken up. I slowly opened my eyes and realized that this was a world of endless white snow. There was no one around me. It was so quiet. It was so lonely. I looked up at the sky. It was so blue, and there were a few snow-like clouds floating in the sky, so light and cold. I stretched out my hand and found that a cold breeze was blowing through my palm.
Fortunately, I wasn't frozen. My four limbs could still move, and I felt a ball of hot air on my chest. I reached out to touch it, and I was so happy that I almost jumped, because there seemed to be a rabbit jumping around!
I stood up and looked around. I saw that this was a beach, and in the distance, there was a boundless sea — the sea that had once taken away my life. But now, the sea was filled with white ice and snow. Its former madness seemed to have been frozen.
This made me angry. This damned 'big fool' was truly worthy of his title! He really was a complete 'big fool'! It really had the wrong time! I clearly remember that I came here in the summer, but why is it so cold and snowy now!
"You damned 'big fool', you're really a 250!" I cursed out loud. It was both infuriating and laughable!
On my side was a vast continent, and I looked at it from afar. It was so beautiful, with white snow covering every inch of it. They were also covered with white snow. Looking at the surrounding terrain and environment, I suddenly remembered that this is my hometown. — This' big fool 'has a bit of conscience and a bit of wisdom! It didn't send me to Africa!
I looked at all this familiarity, I remembered, I remembered, I remembered, that forest was the forest we used to play in, and my first kiss was lost in that forest, how could I forget it? The fire in my heart flared up again. I wanted to walk through the snow to find my romantic past …
Ah!" The unrepentant me!
But then I thought of my mother again, and I remembered so clearly that my phone had rung twice before I fell into the water. I quickly rummaged in my pants pocket and found that the phone was still there. There was still electricity on it.
I pressed it, and the screen lit up, but there was nothing on it, not even a color screen, and the two missed the call and couldn't be reached … I tried it again, like a cat playing with a messy string ball, but nothing came of it, only endless confusion... But my memory is so clear, and everything is so real.
I think I must have been pushed up by the sea water, the sea water is not so easily drowned, I am glad of my luck. I was going to call my mother and tell her I was safe, but then I realized that my phone had been completely soaked in water, even though it had a battery.
It must be him, it must be him, it must be him, it must have made a mistake all the time, it must be a mistake, this abominable fellow," Idiot, Idiot, "I scolded, why did you put me in this cold winter, my mother must have been very anxious at home, she must have been sick, fear suddenly struck me again, I dare not imagine the terrible consequences.
