C35 Why does Kayden hate himself so much?

At the castle; in a guest room

Heaven's POV

I rubbed my eyes and struggled to get up from the bed, dragging my feet on the floor. I managed to get myself to the bathroom and had a cold shower.

I was still getting used to my new, temporary life in the castle, so it wasn't going to be easy for me to ask one of the maids to make me a hot water bath.

With a towel wrapped around my chest