C3 My First Realization of Love

Author POV

After that day Vanya thought never to approach Kamal, she concentrated on her studies and social skills. That's how she made two friends, in her lecture hall, and a gang of five girls in her dorm. Her friends in the lecture hall are from Chennai, and her dorm friends are from different districts.

Vanya didn't have a best-relation roommate, so she always stayed in her friend's room. In her gang, there was a girl who also had the same love interest as Vanya. Her name is Soumya. Soumya is in love with her distant cousin, but it is one-sided. So Vanya and Soumya could talk about their crushes and seek solace from each other. Like this five months have passed.

Vanya POV

Soumya, we are already very late, did you get ready or not?

I shouted at Soumya, after seeing her still styling her hair for the past 15 minutes, while our hostel warden was shouting for us to come out of our room. After having an unsatisfied look on her face she came out of the room with open hair, and pouting lips to let us know that she was not so happy today. Before we tried to coax her, our warden screamed at us from the bottom of her stomach, to let us know that she was so mad at us, for not coming early.

After saying chores of sorry with a saddened face, she didn't scold us. We ran to the hostel canteen to have our breakfast, before she changed her mind, and started to scold us. Running in the hostel corridors with a never-fading smile on my face, with a friend running beside me with a happy face, I realized a fact, 'There will be beautiful moments in our life, even if we are caught in the bars of hell when there are strong companion beside us'

After making up my mind that I didn't hear the conversation of the senior about seeing a worm in the side dish of our breakfast, we fought to have it first on our plates. Even the thought is making me want to puke. Sh*t, that's how the lost my long-gained weight. Still, I wear clothes that will hide my body, because I'm not fond of these things. But, the real thing is, I'm very insecure about my body structure. It's just not everyone in your life will just compliment you or support you.

In terms of body shaming, or speaking ill about a person's skin tone, or about their face structure, I have faced all of these things in my life. 'But still, we cannot avoid a beautiful rose, just because it has so many thorns in it' That's how I will give therapies to my heart.

Today is a happy day for me because we are having a seminar after our lunch break and not to forget, it is Friday, which means I will visit my uncle's place, to see his adorable 1-year 5-month-old son. I told my plans to my best friends, Divya, and Gracie at the lecture hall.

"Divi, Gracie I will go to my uncle's place, so write me a permission letter, please." I pleaded at them with a puppy face.

They both stared at me with utmost shock, because the Maths lecture was going on which was handled by our Head Of the Department. Without any words, I kicked Gracie's feet to let my anger out, as she was not listening to me. When she hissed in pain, our HOD didn't notice her sound, so we didn't get caught up with her.

In my classroom gang, Divya and Gracie are bright students, while I'm an average student, who will get passed with a 65-75%. My policy is when everyone is scoring for the top percentage, who will fill up for the moderate percentage?

After the lectures, all the students go for the morning breaks, while we 3 idiots are discussing how we are going to spend time in the seminar hall since there will be no network once we are inside the auditorium.

"How about we just sleep in the auditorium?"

Divi and I looked at Gracie's face wondering, whether she ate her brain mistakenly.

Divi exclaimed about how this motivational program from an unknown bald uncle would help us in our careers, and how our lives would be changed after this speech. I'm not speaking ill of that speaker, but it was the bloody 54th motivational program for us. Argh, no one would tell us what is use of engineering is, why we need or how we can build our careers.

Motivational programs will give us a long break from our lectures, that's the only reason we are not skipping it. After the morning break, our next 3 lectures have started. As always I started overthinking about my life, my thoughts went back to my school life, and my childhood best friend Lakshmi's thoughts filled my mind.

Lakshmi is studying in a private institution to clear a medical entrance exam. We both planned to clear the medical entrance exam together. But my parent's financial situation didn't allow them to afford the tuition fees. Then, how I took this engineering branch with suggestions of so many people, how I took this IT stream, then how this management tricked us by saying they are a very reputable organization.

Before I joined this organization I was told by my relative, that I was joining a reputed organization. After joining this organization I got to know that, my college has the same name as the reputed organization, and not only me but so many students are tricked by this management.

I trembled at the thought of how to handle the relatives, of whomever I claimed that I got admission in the reputed organization. My thoughts to went the persons to whom are the persons I gave this wrong information. All of a sudden I remembered his face, which held a small smile when I told him that I had joined an engineering course. Goosebumps erupted from the back of my neck, how could I forget about him? He was my only crush, that lasted for more than 9 years. Then the sudden realization hit me like a rushing truck, how can I crush over a person for this long period? Is it love?

Oh My God, Am in love with him. I was awestruck by the mere thought, that I was in love with him. Again a question popped up in my mind, was I in love with him? My mind started its debate with my heart.

"Duh.. Then why did you leave your home to attend a college that has a travelling time of 6 hours?" My mind asked my heart.

"Maybe I want to have a strong career to make my parents proud" My heart replied with a doubtful look.

"Then why do you take an engineering course?" My mind asked with a strong glare.

"To escape from an early marriage" My mind replied with the look of a thief who was about to get caught with the cop.

I couldn't understand the debate between these guys and listened to them. Suddenly Divi and Gracie nudged me from both sides. Then I realized, that the lecture had ended, and many students were leaving the classroom.

"Hey Vanya, don't tell me you are daydreaming during the whole lecture" Divi threatened me with her baby face. I couldn't find Gracie anywhere beside us. I pinched her cheeks and ran out of my lecture hall. After reaching the ground floor corridor, I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart which is racing in the effect of my running as well as with this new realization.

Till now in the whole 17 years of my life, no one disturbed my thoughts like him. I suddenly had this urge to speak with him, but seeing the time, I realized there were only 25 minutes left for lunchtime. I walked to the canteen, to have my lunch. Even though my legs are walking, my thoughts are filled by a certain smiling face.

"First romance, first love, is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically, that it touches our lives and enriches them forever"