C5 Chapter 5

If it's love, I'm a loser. Why can't I love someone else? If only I was the first one he saw instead of Natalia. He would still love me?

We don't know. We cannot teach our hearts.On Damon's part I can't teach him to love me because like I said the heart can't be dictated.

Will I just stop? Or will I continue chasing him? If I stop I will still be hurt. If I continue 'it's still the same, I will still be hurt.Am I this hard to love? How can I be happy if he is my only happiness?

Why did I love someone like him? Maybe, I will get tired of the pain. That’s probably it.

I will avoid him while I can.

I feel the pain of the sun on my skin while heading to the big HMU Court .It's afternoon and we need to practice volleyball.Wearing our usual PE uniform, color dark green with HMU brand on the front and number and surname on the back.

So the stamped on my back is twenty two, Cordova.

"I told you ! You know that's Damon is so crazy with Natalia. You're hurting again. "

Ruru preached me.

But I remained silent because in the beginning I was really wrong.

I rolled up my jersey shirt and combed my long hair.

"Don't worry I'll stop." I said gently. For myself as well.

"Why ? Do you have a choice ??"

I feel like crying again.I simply looked up to prevent my tears from falling.

For the sake of myself, I will avoid him.

That word I heard three days ago was like only yesterday.It seemed like a knife word that left a wound in my heart when he said that.

We were good and I was enlightened.

We heard the footsteps and the crash of the ball we immediately heard as we entered the gate of the court.The varsity players, including Damon, immediately saw us.

But I didn't bother to turn around to look for him. I bent down while crossing the other bleachers to sit there with my other classmates.

"Zandria!" I looked behind when someone call me.

Yvone, one of my classmates.

She approached me and stepped aside. She was kind to me. She was also one of the tops in our room.

"Hey! Why?" I said and turned on my mineral water.

"My older brother asked for my favor. He found out that we're classmates."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Ah !What if ... if you can, he'll be happy to date you. " She said in a shy tone.

Her brother Steven Delos Santos? He was a football player and was sometimes taken as a model by clothing brands.

"Oh really?" I dont know how to react. This is not the first time someone has invited me. Many times already.

"Oh no! Tell your brother. It's okay. Zandria is NBSB! No boyfriend , very single and ready to minggle." It was Ruru who answered even though I hadn't thought about it yet.

Ruru's laughter disappeared when I looked at her badly.

"Oh! What now? Do you agree Zand?" Yvone asked again.

Maybe nothing will be lost if I accommodate, right? Nobody gets angry coz' I'm single. Maybe mom will get mad.

Another one I also need to enjoy the youth of my age.

I nodded. "Ah, all right."

"Yes!" Ruru shouted.

Yvone laughed.

"Ay! Thank you! I know brother will be happy with it. You are his long time right crush!"

Yvone took my cellphone number so she could text me when her older brother and I would have a date.

After practice we went to the locker to shower and get dressed.

"When did you date Steven, Zand?" Ruru asked, as I got out of the shower. We have other colleagues here who are all women and also dress up.

"I think he’ll text me about it." I said drying my hair.

I was wearing a white v-neck shirt and rag shorts that went over the pocket. I paired that with black slip on shoes.

"Good, so you can forget Damon."

She stood up and looked at her wristwatch.

"Gosh! ll be going Zands huh? I still have some way to go."

"Okay."

After she left, I carried my shoulder bag with only a few notebooks and my PE uniform.

My hair was wet as the wind blew when I came out.There are no more students, because they probably have gone home or hung out at starbucks or Mc'do outside.

As I was passing the men’s locker I was almost sneer as I bumped with a chair on which was sitting a man I was avoiding.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't see you."

He didn't say a word. He just looked at me like I was a puzzle to him. That he seemed to be reading my mind, that seemed to penetrate to my soul.

"Did you agree to date Steven?"

How did he know? Did he hear when we were in the court?

"Huh?" I cleared my throat. "Yeah, there's nothing wrong.Besides, it's just a friendly date. "

"Friendly date? He's hitting on you, obviously." What about him now? What's he doing? After he said that? What did he think of me?

"I won't answer. One more thing, I'm free to do what I want. So we'll date. He’s single and I'm single so it’s okay. " I replied to him as he calmed down. Because I hit a nerve.

"I didn't say I had care." He said firmly and his gaze deepened on me.

I sighed at what he said.

Alright, he doesn't have a care anymore. Even if I get hurt he doesn't have a care. Even now that I’m hurt.I swallowed and bowed to realize it.

"I'm sorry. I'm leaving."

I was about to leave but, he pulled my wrist.

"Do you like him?" Why did he ask that question?

I looked at him confused until he got up from the chair and approached me. His hand still remained on my wrist.

"Do you like him?" He asked again and tightened his grip on my wrist.

Why is he like this now?

"N-no." I replied. He grabbed me and in a flash he claimed my lips again.

God damn it! When did I come to my senses? What is this again?

I almost step back with each advance of his kiss and in a tug he pulled me into the boys locker room .... and kissed me again!

My brain can hardly process what is happening in my life right now .I think I'm going to explode with my heart beating so fast.I did not expect it.I was about to close my eyes when I saw two men here in the locker room.

Fuck!

Even faster than lightning ,I pushed Damon!

"There's someone.." But Damon didn't budge. His two hands are still wrapped around me.

"Fuckers.Radleigh .. Clinton.. Get out." Damon said emphatically.

Radleigh whistled.I know one of Damon's cousins. This one is also very playboy.

They quickly put on a t-shirt and put away their belongings.

Rad tapped Damon shoulder.

"Hokage move huh?" Clinton chuckled and winked at me.

"Soft core Damon." Clinton said and they left.

I swallowed as his gaze moved to my lips.

Oh God! What now?

**

I just keep up with every day that passes in my life.

I know it's wrong. But we humans are even more prone to wrong. Where else is wrong we are there. Whoever is wrong is still the one we choose.

Supposedly, the relish is in difficulty.

"You know Zand, I'm the one who worries about you.What if Natalia finds out? And she will blame you? What will you do? What will you say? That you like it too? ”Ruru asked.

I bit my lip and took my reading eyeglass from my eye. We are now in the library.

The truth is, I'm afraid. I might wreck their relationship. They can be broken because of me.

"The truth is I don't know. But we don't have a relationship” I said and I 'wiped my glasses with a handkerchief and returned it to my eyes.

How do I stop? How do I avoid him?

So far I can say that we have something? Because if he sees me and no matter what I avoid he always blocking my way.

He don't care what people will say. He didn't care about those who saw what he was doing. He didn't seem aware that someone will tell Natalia.

"Are you going to the Wet party the next day?" ' Ruru asked.

"Of course."

She smiled and folded her book.

"Me too! I'm so excited!"

"Ru!"

I looked at the man who called Ruru. Alexander, one of our varsity here. Alexander Cojuanco is Damon cousin in mother side.

I know he's her long time crush.

Ruru turned to me ,like she's waiting for my permission.

"I know! Go to your lunch!" I pushed her away.

"How about you?!" she stood up and took her bag.

"I'm full, we're three hours vacant! I'll even have lunch later." I said.

When they left I distracted myself from reading. I love reading a book.

If we have a research , I am looking it from the book. If I have a project , I use books even though we have new technology like internet, google etc.

I would prefer the book.

Little by little there were people here inside the library until I heard the rain falling outside.

I especially can't get out because it's raining.

I stood up and returned the book to the one I had taken earlier. And pick a new one again as it rains.

"What's so beautiful?"I bit my lip looking for new book until I came to the very end and last row of bookshelf.

At the very top I saw there the pitch black and with the red title ‘VAMPIRE DIARIES.

This is one of my favorite so I reached for it to read again.

But whatever I do , I can’t reach it! I jumped a little to reach it but there's already a hand took the book for me.

I almost froze smelling his scent. I closed my eyes tightly as my chest beat wildly again.

He took the book without any difficulty. I faced him slowly but my chest swelled even more because he was so close to me. My nose almost touch his chin!

I could feel the heat brought by his body that made my knees tremble.

"Here." He said coldly and handed me the book.

By shaking hand, I took it.

"Thank you. " I said.

He sighed and held up my chin.

"Is there anything wrong?" He asked in a deep voice.

Yes something is wrong. I feel wrong, you’re wrong to be here, it’s wrong that I let this.

I pushed his hand so I could see how surprised he was at what I did.

Although I am a quiet person, I know what's right and wrong. So I wondered why he was asking me?

He’s smart, I know. So he should know.

I know he hate me and I let him kissed me because I like him. Buy what I've heard from him wrecked me. That he said, I am too young and it's just a kiss. That it depends to me if I will give it a meaning.

"Nothing."

I know he wasn't convinced by what I said because he just cornered me more . He wrapped me in his big and hand.

I looked around to see what he had done.

"Damon, They might see us."

"I don't care," He lazily said.My forehead furrowed.

‘The last time I just heard that he didn’t want to hurt Natalia because of me, are they over now?

"Maybe it will get to Natalia, Damon. Come on I'll--"

I was stopped when he touched my chin and lifted it.

"Natalia will understand."

What? Will Natalia understand?

"I do not understand Damon."

"You will at the right time." He said to me. What? I'm even more confused.

His other hand traveled on my back.

"Are you going to the Wet Party?" He suddenly asked.

I was about to answer but three women passed by.

So I just put my head on Damon's chest even more.

Smells good.

Damon just relaxed as if there was no care for those who passed by. After the three of them had passed, I pushed Damon a little.

"Damon .. They saw you." I was so nervous. He held me even tighter.

"And so?"

I scoffed.

"And so? You're crazy. Natalia might find out."

"Then let them know." His answer was simple.

What ??

"You're going?" He asked again. He knew immediately about that Wet party.

I nodded.

"Y-yes."

His jaw tightened.

"Don't go."

I was surprised by what he said.

Huh?

"Huh why?" Why don't you let me go?

"Have a date with me."