C13 Ryan

*Trigger Warning*

-Brief description of an attempted sexual assault

“Because this is my fault! I shouldn’t have been out alone.”

My arms and fists tensed, and my jaw suddenly became defined. “He only came after you to piss me off, and it worked. That’s not on you.” Aria pulled her arms around herself tighter, squeezing herself. It was clear she had relived that night more than once since

I left. “I don’t know what I will do if I ever see him again.”

“I think you scared him enough the last time you saw him. He moved across the country as soon as they released him from the hospital. He didn’t even stay for PT. All to avoid the big bad Ryan. Which now has all new meaning.” I cringed. “Too soon?”

“Yeah, way too soon.”

“I’ll help you figure all this shifting stuff out. In the meantime, Do NOT go outside at night or even stand in front of a curtain, you hear me?” I pointed at him, glaring. “I’ll check on you tomorrow.”

I nodded but didn’t follow her downstairs. I needed a minute to calm down and I think she did too. It won’t be hard to avoid the night for a while. I never open my blinds anyway. Then it hit me, ma does, and yet they’ve been closed since I got home.

“Did you know ma?” I sat down at the kitchen island, unsure how I wanted her to answer.

“Yes, I knew.” She stopped cleaning up the kitchen to face me.

“Why didn’t either of you tell me?”

“When you were young, you weren’t territorial. You stuck up for your friends, but you did it without getting into fights. He thought it was unnecessary stress that would ruin your childhood. The training his father put him through was strenuous. Your anger didn’t start flaring up until he,” she paused, clutching her heart.

“Yeah, well, I could have saved Dad, and didn’t want to make that mistake again.”

“That wasn’t your fault. Criminals ambushed you two, and Dorien hurting Aria wasn’t either. This isn’t on you; it’s on me. The second the rage reared its head, I should have warned you. I didn’t know how, and I tried to help you control it without having to.”

I looked at my mother, her eyes filled with as much pain as mine. “I get it, ma.” She sat next to me, offering comfort. I laid my head on her shoulder. “I don’t regret saving Aria; I’d do that again in a heartbeat. Maybe I wouldn’t have let myself go that far” I

shrugged, “I don’t know if I could have stopped myself. She’s worth being a beast”

“Your father never turned, but his father told him about it. You are still you when you turn. It will take some will-Did you read the letter?” She leaned against the counter, pointing at me with a rag in her hand.

“Yeah, Aria found it.” I just wish I had more information on what turning was like.

“How did Aria take the news? She stormed out of here pretty quick. It’s been a rough few days for her, too, with you, Tasha, this, and Dorien called her too. I’ll have to check in on her tomorrow.”

“Dorien-called her?” My fingers rolled into a tight fist, and I pounded them both on the counter at the same time. I pursed my lips together. “What did he say to her?”

“Believe it or not, he apologized.” She got up, scowling, warning me to reign in my anger. Then she started cleaning up the kitchen again.

“It’s been three years, and he is just now apologizing.” I switched my jaws back and forth and tried to unfold the creasing on my forehead, but I couldn’t hide how angry Dorien made me. “I swear if he ever comes anywhere near her again, I might just kill him.” I huffed, trying to calm down. Dorien wasn’t even here, and I was getting ready for war.

“You hold your tongue!” She pierced into me with her gaze, and I felt every chastising word seep into me.

“You don’t understand, ma, he went too far; he should be in jail for what he did to her.”

“You don’t know what he was going to do. You stopped his shenanigans.”

“No, I didn’t. At least not before he messed her up.” Every clenched muscle relaxed, more like drooped.

“She didn’t have any bruises or anything.” My mother looked at me, eyes pleading, hoping I was exaggerating. She knew I wasn’t.

I hung my head and sighed. “She was screaming my name. She wouldn’t have done that knowing I was coming if it was just a little pushing around.”

“Ryan,” Her breathing was picking up, “what are you saying?” She placed her hand on her heart, pools forming in her eyes.

“When I heard her screaming my name, a pit dropped in my stomach, and I ran as fast as I could. He was ripping off her shirt, laughing at her for calling me. He was trying to pin her down, but she was kicking and clawing. When I pushed him off of her, his pants were unzipped. I saw red. I saw Aria in a ball crying on the ground, and I saw red. He did all that over a stupid football rivalry.”

I punched the counter and allowed a few tears to fall. “I would have quit football if I had known he was taking it that seriously. Aria didn’t deserve that. I couldn’t save Dad, and I couldn’t save Aria. I’m not much of a MacGregor protector!” I stood up abruptly to leave but fell to my knees after about three steps. My mother scooped me up in her arms and let me release all my fears and doubts into her shoulders. “I have to let her go.” I didn’t wait for her to respond; I held onto her tighter. Every muscle flexed and tightened. My hands clenched around her clothes. I was clinging to her, my mother, and she clung to me. Together we mourned.