C15 Eli

When I walked into my bedroom, she was pacing the floor, holding the letter I had written to my brother. She froze and stared at me, calculating, while she instinctively rubbed her wrist. Panic thrummed through me like an echo, no, more like an alarm. I took a step toward her, but stopped when her shoulders tensed. This wasn’t how I wanted her to find out who-what I was.

I guess it was better than how she found out last night. But I wanted her to get to know me as a person first. She was the key to unlocking my humanity. She made me want to feel again, and now she feared me. All hope of redemption was slipping through my fingers. Worse, the love I dreamed would blossom was wilting before it ever bloomed.

“Are you a-”

“Yes.” I interrupted, unable to hear that word cross through her lips.

“Why do you think I can redeem you? I don’t understand. Is that why I’m here?”

“When I saw you the first time,” I took a step toward her, but stopped when she flinched. “walking down the street reading a book.” I wanted to reach out to her so badly, but that look on her face kept me planted. I took a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady. “I got close to you and I had a different reaction than usual. I felt calm, even happy. I hadn’t felt that in a long time. I discovered I still had some humanity left.” She appeared lost in thought for a while.

“If you were so remorseful about those other women, doesn’t that mean you already had some humanity left?” Her response sent me reeling. It was so obvious, and yet my mind still held to the words, ‘you can’t control your impulses’. My heart was thumping at the bottom of my stomach. “I could tell you lived a traumatic life, but I would have never guessed this.” She put her hand on her forehead and sat down on the bed, taking deep breaths. I took a few steps closer, but still kept my distance. I didn’t want to rush her.

“I have spent over a century trying to feel human again. Right the wrongs. Just stop. Nothing has worked until you.” She was looking at her fingers, pressed tight against each other, so I stared at my feet. Processing my words to help her understand and ease her fears proved a difficult task. How do you help someone see past vampirism? By being Amelia Rose, that’s how. She was helping me see past vampirism, my vampirism.

“Me?” As soon as she said it, I was already pulling her to her feet. I pressed her hand against my heart and stepped closer to her, close enough for our breath to mix in the air. I strained against the pull of her throat, focusing on her face. Her lips. Her eyes. Her coils. Anything but her neck.

“Your presence soothes me.” I paused when she stiffened. I was on rocky ground, but I pushed on. “I-I have been fearful of getting close to you, though. Afraid I might,” I cut myself off. Being in a room with a vampire was hard enough without listening to him detail what he could do to you. “Look at your wrist.” I held up my hands. “Before you say anything, let me explain, please.”

When her pulse thrummed in her neck, I turned my back to her. My fangs were breaking through. She tasted so good last night. I struggled to think past it. I told her the truth. All of it, stalking her, chasing her, scaring her. I told her how she offered her wrist. I told her how I responded, hesitantly, but I told her.

She grabbed both of my hands, taking a deep breath; I was surprised she even wanted to touch me, and even more surprised that her touch relaxed my entire body. My emotions, which were just raging and scrambled, now felt settled. “I brought you here,” I pointed around, “to make sure you were okay. But worse, I erased your memory of it.” I flopped down on the bed, laying back.

“I already knew.” I sat up one straight, curiosity peaked.

“What? How? I erased your memory.”

“Well, for one,” she held up her wrist and wiggled them. “And two, I read a lot of books.” She put both hands on my chest and pushed me against the wall. She whispered, sliding her finger down my chest. “Plus, letting a sexy vampire have a taste of my wrist to ease his pain sounds like something I would do.” She leaned in toward my ear and whispered in the most daring, sexiest voice I have ever heard. “Erase my memory again, and we will have a problem.”

She leaned back slightly, with bare space between our lips, waiting to see what I would do with it. She wrapped our fingers around each other. I wanted to kiss her, but her stomach growled, loud like a wildcat, pulling laughter out of us both. She stepped away, breathless; the moment gone. I grabbed her hand, rubbing the back of it.

“Join me on the terrace; I made breakfast. Figured you’d be starving once you woke up. I also,” I pointed to my ears, “could hear your stomach gurgling in your sleep. Heightened senses and all.”

She smiled that beautiful, slightly dimpled smile as I led her to the terrace. The terrace was lit with candles, and I set the table with white glassware. Bowls and plates filled with a variety of mixed fruit and pastries. The sun was rising, making for the perfect backdrop. I wanted to forget about being a vampire, and woes, and screams, and eyes, and veins. I wanted to just be a man. A man talking to a beautiful woman, he wants to make his own. Words came more easily now. We laughed, and I think she forgot what I am for a moment. The deeper into the conversation, the quieter her veins call. Maybe love isn’t so far-fetched for her after all, or for me.