C7 Aria

It’s time. I have gotten myself to the destination just fine, but now I can’t move. The mysterious forces of anxiety have glued my hands to the steering wheel, and my eyes can’t seem to unlock from the words-Correctional Facility. My lungs paused. I was mentally preparing myself to withhold emotions. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry! Anger banged on my lids alongside worry and grief, demanding freedom. I shook my head and arms, squared my shoulders, took a long deep breath, and went inside.

I sat in the lobby and waited for Ryan to be released. Every second went by with a loud click. The clock hands tantalized my swelling feelings, teasing them. Five minutes go by, and then ten. Each minute that passed pulled me into my memories.

I watched the second-hand jolt little by little around the clock. In the center of the clock, I saw my apartment. Laying on the dark brown couch was Ryan, laughing loudly. His head lay on my lap, with my fingers slowly gliding through his big, curly hair. His favorite thing, he would say. I reveled in the silky smoothness sliding through my fingers. We sat there, laughing and talking for a small eternity. Or maybe that was me trapping the memory in time as the clock ticked, vibrating in my ears.

I stared on, marinating in the soft tingles that spread through my body. His smile, his laugh. I played it on repeat. Closing my eyes, I leaned into his body when he hugged me goodbye. The warmth of his embrace defused the war raging within me. His heartbeat steadied my trembling hands. I jumped when a small rush of people flooded the lobby. A few were crying, some smiling; I wasn’t alone in this. Of course, I didn’t know them, but we all had one thing in common. We were all about to be reunited with someone we loved. The group seemed to know each other; the hugs made that apparent. I, on the other hand, was the only one here for Ryan.

His father passed away a few years ago, and his mother was preparing a small party for him back at her house. Oddly, Tasha, his girlfriend, hadn’t offered to come. My sister and Caylie had to work and wanted to surprise him at his house after. So, I sat alone in the lobby, waiting to see my childhood crush best friend for the first time in 3 years. Ryan called me a lot over the years, and I yearned for every call. He was placed too far away for visits, so three years felt more like ten.

The first time I saw him get on the school bus, I slapped Caylie in the arm four or five times. He was the new kid in town, and he was already getting popular. Mostly with the girls. He had all the makings to grow up a cocky jock that thought he deserved any girl he wanted, but he wasn’t. That only made us all want him more.

On the bus ride home, me and my neighborhood friends sat in the back of the bus, talking and laughing louder than anyone else on the bus. All conversations stopped when Ryan walked on the bus. There weren’t any empty seats, so he would have to share. Caylie had a seat next to her, and being the best friend ever that she was, she offered Ryan the seat next to her. That quickly, Ryan became a part of the group. A friend, he became my friend. He became my BEST friend...that I daydreamed about.

“How did I know you would be alone?” I jumped to my feet and faced the voice, my heart pounding.

“Because I am clearly the only one that loves you.” I rolled my eyes, smiled, and hugged him. He picked me up and spun me around.

“Man, I missed you.”

“I am pretty awesome.” Ryan shoves my arm a little and lets out a breathy laugh. “Yeah, I missed you too, Ry.”

“She is throwing me a party, isn’t she?”

“Huh?”

“My mom, she’s throwing me a party, isn’t she?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I looked down at the ground and sped up out the door.

“You are a terrible liar. Why did they send you?” When I stopped and glared at him, he froze. After about two seconds, we both started laughing. I shrugged. It was true. I am a terrible liar.

“They sent me because they knew after three years in that place the first face you would want to see would be this one. Que Voguing.” I did a few vogue poses.

“It definitely was.” He pulled me in for a hug again, long and tight. It startled me at first, but it didn’t take long for me to return it. Three years of pent-up pressure, three years of no physical contact, three years…apart. Everything we wanted to say, that hug said it, but did the other hear it? “I really, really missed you, Ari. Like for real.” We pulled apart. “I really want to go over to that bench.” He pointed to the bench closest to us, “for one of your famous scalp massages. Is it weird I missed those so much?”

“Yes, yes, it is.” I laughed, grabbed his hand, and pulled him over to the bench. “Do not fall asleep! You have a not-a-party to go to.”

Ryan smirked and shook his head. “I make no promises. It’s been three years since your magic massage fingers graced my scalp. I fully intend to nap on this very public bench,”

“Fine, but if anyone asks why we were so late, it wasn’t because you were in my lap.” Ryan closed his eyes. “Tasha pops off; I fully intend to throw you under the bus.” He huffed.

“Why y’all hate each other, anyway.” He sat up to look me straight in the eyes. “It matters.” I didn’t inhale. My hands started to sweat. When I noticed my heart rate speeding up, I took a breath. “You matter, did she-?”

“Yeah, I know. I am the best friend ever.” I had to keep it light or I would combust. There was so much to unpack in his words and so many ways to interpret them. My mind was frying from the heat of his gaze.

“Everyone thinks we're together, but you guys used to be friends.”

“Or, hear me out. Your girlfriend is crazy!”

“Aria.” The disappointment in his voice was prevalent.

“Ok fine, you’re right; there is more to it. I don’t trust her, and she knows it. I made it clear that she better not do you like her other guys. We have been at odds ever since.”

He frowned, thinking, I presume about their relationship, about ours.

“If she’s ‘the one’, I didn’t want to mess that up. So, I spoke to her about her antics instead of you.” I paused, “I may give them all the same speech.” I winced waiting for some semblance of anger.

Ryan met me eye to eye. He looked like he was digging deep into his own heart and hoping mine could hear its beat. “She isn’t the one for me.”

“What?”

“I knew that before I dated her. Nothing’s changed.”

“Then, why-”

“No judgment?”

“Never.”