C8 Aria

“She’s fun and sexy.” I rolled my eyes and looked away. Ryan grabbed my hand. “Can’t have ‘the one’.” He mocked. “So, I settle for fun and sexy until I get bored.” His eyes were trying to tell me something, but my heart was struggling to let me hope.

My chest was heaving hard. My mind was spiraling far from the conversation. If Ryan had said who his mystery girl was, I missed it. Ryan shook me a little more forcefully. I blinked hard and inhaled even harder. Ryan’s hands were holding mine now. I yanked them away and wiped them on my ripped jeans; they were so wet and clammy. Ryan tilted his head and frowned when I jumped up.

“Hey, come on. I almost forgot about your-uh ‘not-a-party’ thing from-not-your mother.” Aria dashed off to the car, mumbling to herself about how silly she was acting...again.

I could feel Ryan watching me walk away. I dared a glance back at him, waving him on. His face was long, frowning until I got to the edge of the sidewalk, but he gave me a small smile. “Just admit she is throwing me a party already!”

“Never!” Aria smiled, grateful the joking was back. She wasn’t sure if she could handle the long drive if things were suddenly awkward.

Of course, the first stop we made was his favorite restaurant. And, of course, he got a giant steak. “It’s bigger than your face.”

“That’s why I ordered it.” Ryan wiggled his fingers together, then made the most hilariously sinister smirk I had ever seen. I shook my head, laughing. Because we spent the next few hours chatting about any and everything, I had forgotten the awkwardness entirely. Spending time with Ryan always felt natural and comfortable. I trusted him with, well, everything. He knew all my deepest, darkest secrets, and he didn’t hold them against me. Well, he knew all of my secrets except for two. He had no clue I fell in love with him on the bus, his first day at school. He also doesn’t know the family secret.

Ryan, laughing to the point of tears, slumps in the chair, looking at his little more than half-eaten steak. “I’m so glad you picked me up.”

“You wouldn’t rather have miss fun and sexy come get you?” I laughed off my insecurity.

“Nah, getting locked up sucked the fun out of us. Phone calls got boring quick, and messages came less and less; I probably got like two letters from her. Although,” he raised one eyebrow, smiling, “if she had come, we would have hit that back seat pretty quick.”

I spit my drink out a little, laughing. “Sorry to disappoint you. But I don’t do back seats. I’m classy.” I, in the fanciest way, grazed my fingers against my chest.

Ryan took a sip of his drink, eyeing me over his glass. “Bathrooms work even better.”

I knew he was joking, but my heart still dropped at the thought of one of his hands slowly gliding up my leg. The other gripping the small of my back. I gasped quietly, visualizing him, lifting me against the bathroom wall. Then I remembered how gross public bathrooms are. “Did you say better? You have seriously low standards.”

“THREE YEARS ARIA! THREE!” We laughed so loud that the nearby tables stared at us.

“That’s our cue.” We finished paying and walked to the car. “So, what are you going to do when you see her? Besides, sneak out of your not-a-party to relieve ‘three years, THREE years!’ of pent up pressure, I mean.” Ryan chuckled softly but didn’t respond right away. The car revved up. “You ok over there? You look lost in a thought jungle.”

“You think I should break up with her, don’t you?”

“I said no such thing.”

“You’re thinking it, though. Aren’t you?”

“You-I-” I sighed. How do you tell your best friend you have always loved that he should be with you instead of his girlfriend or any other woman? “You don’t sound happy.”

“I’m not.”

“Feeling left behind?” I frowned, but I was angry at Tasha for basically ditching him more than anything.

“You.”

“ME!?” I snapped my head at him and had to swerve the car.

“Yeah, you. She’s ashamed. She didn’t understand like you did. You looked out for me. Made sure I laughed. Kept me smiling when that place gave me so many reasons not to. She always seemed like she couldn’t get off the phone fast enough.”

“What are best friends for?”

“Naw, it’s more than that. I know you like to downplay stuff with a joke, but I’m serious. I appreciate everything you did.” Ryan pulled out a big stack of letters from his backpack. Dark pink flame simmered around him. His feelings of gratitude were bursting. “Yours.”

Well, it was my fault you got locked up, so-.”

“Is that why, guilt?”

“Of course not, I would have done that, anyway! I lo-,” I cleared my throat, “I look out for my people.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“You getting locked up? It definitely is.”

“Aria, pull over.”

“What? Why? We’re making great time even with the steakhouse stop. Wait, are you going to puke? Hold it in, and I’ll pull over! DO NOT PUKE IN MY CAR!”

“Aria, chill, I’m not going to puke. Just pull over.”

I steered the car onto the interstate shoulder. “Ok, what now? What’s going on.”

Ryan grabbed my hands and pulled them to his side of the car. “Bad as that place was, I would make the same choice over again ten more times and then some if it meant you were safe.” He grabbed my hands again. “Look at me.” He gently pulled my chin back to face him and wiped the tear falling down my cheek. “I would do anything to protect you from anyone or anything.” His face was so close to mine.

He leaned his forehead against mine. My hands clammed up again, along with the speeding heart rate that I was pretty sure he could hear beating. I was panicking. It was too much having him so close and intimate after being apart for so long. Knowing he would never be mine. His flames were mixing and growing. There was only one thing to do now.

“Even an alien attack? Or an A.I. gone rogue out to purify humanity?” Ryan dropped his head to laugh. Or hide his disappointment, who knows.

“You’re so weird. But I love it.”

“Because weird is awesome. You’d be bored without me.” I pulled the car back into drive and bumped some music before merging back into highway traffic. For the next hour, we sang and danced and partied away the sentimentality. The flames simmered down. It was a masterful diversion. I couldn’t shake it, though. Our car party slowed down, and the panic returned. Once the party is over, he’ll be over all of this gratefulness, and I’ll still be in the friend zone.

“Aria?”

“Hmmm”

“Get lost in a thought jungle of your own.”

“Ha! No thought jungle can tame me. We’re almost there. I was just imagining how happy everyone is going to be at your par-

when you get around to seeing them.” I straightened in my seat.

“Aria.”

“Yessum.”

“Say party.”

“Party.” I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes, looking away to hide my smile.

“I promise to act surprised. We both know that’s the only reason she isn’t here. She loves you, and she loves a car party road trip

even more.” I mimed zipping my lips, putting the window down, and throwing the invisible key out the window. Ryan shook his head. “You’re impossible.” We rode in comfortable silence for a while, talked a bit, and sang some more until the car pulled into his mom’s driveway.

“Ready?”