C1 my last wish was to kill

The thing is that everyone has something that they wanted, but for me, it was like a huge blank space.

I still do not know how to fill it.

It irritated me at first. but now it's like a fleeting emotion that never existed in the first place.

oh!

He's cheating on me.

I am speechless. It's surprising didn't the guy said that he will love me forever and never ever will cheat on me.

Now, look at how he's playing hockey with another woman.

did I want him?

no.

no.

YES.

YES, I Do.

The only thing I wanted him was his sweet words. Things that he showed me when i couldn't feel a single thing.

It was beautiful to the point it was blinding and now it's blinding too.

Who knows how many times did he cheated on me.

Asshole.

The guy was startled ,he immediately pulled his pants up and then ran toward me.

Baaam.

I closed the door on his face , here I was worried that he ate something or not but there he was sleeping with some other women.

Wow, today is really a roller coaster ride of emotion , it could be said that this amount was more than the total amount of past two years.

"Yan- it's it's not what you think." I was sad and disappointed. Some people says sadness is just extremely held back anger.

"So what was it " I said and he opened the door and chased after me.

Step by step I was walking no I was running and he was chasing me from behind.

"I am sorry , it won't ever happen again

I am sorry come back Yan ." What will not happen again playing hockey.

At first I just heard rumours from my friends it began two years ago. Out of five years of our relationship he literally cheated on me for two.

At that time when someone told me I just ignored those rumours because I was numb to things , no I was dumb to the things that I didn't believed in those rumours.

"Get away , it's over ". It's over even though I was the one said those words but it still hurts a lot in my heart.

Suddenly he grabbed my wrist and then slapped me.

With a Baam , I felt like blood in my mouth tears were surging toward my ears but I refused to let those teas out instead I looked at his gaze head on.

"You dare to say those words " he said . These words were so viscous that I forgot that once he was such a nice and awkward man.

He thought that I would argue with him. But instead I took the step back and said I am too disappointed on you and left.

Took the path to the nearest convenient store bought some medicine cause my head was hurting. Bought some vegetables and a lot a lot of alcohol.

Went to my old Villa where I lived before I moved in with that asshole.

Said hello to security guard .

And then closed the door of my room . I thought I was going to cry shatters things and just cry and feel sad.

But the thing is that I don't feel a single thing.

Who was that guy that cheated on me suddenly became a person out of seven billion who cheated on his lover.

Not a single spec of emotion was left.

Ahhh. I sighed .

Just like always becoming numb and keeping my emotions running in the the minimum required.

NO calls from that guy and a week has passed away kinda felt a little strange but good riddance in my opinion.

But suddenly someone banged my door.

It was loud.

I didn't dare to open the door who knows there might be a serial killer. It's midnight after all.

"YAN- PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR I BEG YOU" My heart wavered but this feeling became fleeting in just few second.

It's him so I opened the door.

AND THAT WAS BIGGEST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER MADE IN THIS LIFETIME.

BECAUSE AFTER THAT MY LAST WISH WAS TO KILL , KILL , HACK SOMEONE INTO MILLION PIECES.

ESPECIALLY HIM.