C15 Great Ideas More Mournful

Ding Bufan faced my silence with a slight smile, as if he didn't realize the difficulty that I was worried about, nor did he consider how much difficulty it would be to speak like that.

"Do you know the difficulty of self-study?"

I had to ask him, because I had the feeling that he was just making things up on a whim, or maybe in order to get me to agree to the marriage.

The self-study exam only happened twice a year, and the courses one passed were in their thirties or forties. Even if one studied at home, it would be very difficult to pass all the exams in two or three years, not to mention having to earn money while studying.

Although I have never taken part in the self-study exam, my uncle, who works in the Bureau of Education, has often told me about the difficulty of the self-study exam. Thus, the current me absolutely doesn't believe that Ding Bufan would choose such an inconceivable method.

"To tell you the truth, I went to the County Education Bureau the day before yesterday. Although this is the policy that just started, there are still quite a few people registering. I'm not worried about the difficulty of the self-study exam, but buying books for the self-study exam is not only hard to find, it also requires a lot of money. "

When Ding Bufan said till the end, a look of awkwardness flashed across Ming Hao's eyes, and his tone was also very low.

Actually, I didn't think about self-study, nor did I think about the economy. I just wondered how much of what he had said was true. At this moment, when he spoke of the actual difficulties, I realized that he was not acting on impulse, nor was he trying to get me to agree to the engagement.

According to my uncle, the amount of books and materials required for self-study was only a few hundred dollars per book. However, the sum of several dozen books was not a small amount, nor was it something that a family who could not even afford to attend school could bear. Most importantly, we have just started to popularize the self-study exam. We use very few books for the exam, and the results in Xinhua Bookstore are rarely seen. Even if there is one, it was bought by people with a back door in advance, so the commoners have no hope at all.

"You really want to take the self-study test? However, have you ever thought about it seriously? Self-study exams not only require perseverance, but they also require money to support you. With your current condition, do you think you have the ability to do so? "Don't waste your money because of a moment of impulse. Our lives are already very short of money, so it's more useful for you to earn some money."

Although my words were unpleasant to hear, they weren't malicious. It wasn't to dampen his enthusiasm, but rather to make things more realistic.

He hadn't arrived at Ding Bufan's home yet to check on his living conditions, but in order to ensure that his brother went to school, he took the initiative to drop out of school and instead chose the road of earning money from sidelines. Besides, I also have a worry. If I agree to this marriage, he will definitely have to bear the gift money with all his effort.

"You are right, we are indeed living in poverty. However, we do not have any long-term plans. Such a life of poverty will definitely allow us to live for a lifetime. If you want to change your fate, perhaps you can only do so. However, from the looks of it, it might affect your life, and once you realize your dream, you might be able to completely change the torturous situation. "

When Ding Bufan finished, he suddenly raised his head and looked up at the ceiling with his sharp eyes as if he was making a final decision.

I was touched by his words, and deeply aching. Living in the remote and poor mountain valleys, if one was not going out, then it would be a loess hill or a ravine cliff. To be able to find a rugged mountain road that led to the county city was already not bad. Changing fate seems too far away for us to see the way out or plan for the future.

At this moment, even though it was mid-autumn, I couldn't help but shiver when I thought about the incident that had happened in my heart.

"It looks like you've made up your mind, but will your mom agree?"

Perhaps because of the same experience, I actually asked the most fundamental question.

In the poor and backward mountains, everything that happened to a child had to be decided by the parents. No one could resist the parents. Even if there had been resistance, the outcome did not seem to have been perfect. Although I have not yet heard of any girl who, because of her obstinate future with her parents, chose to avoid marriage in order to resist the orders of her parents, the result of which was not only a failure to achieve happiness, but an even more difficult and painful one.

Sigh! After a long sigh, Ding Bufan lowered his powerless head.

"They definitely won't agree, and I didn't plan to tell them. The reason why I told the truth in front of you was because I wanted you to understand that perhaps in the next two or three years, I won't be able to show respect to the elderly, and I won't be able to take care of you."

Ding Bufan's deep voice had a helpless tone, but his eyes were filled with a stern coldness.

My heart quivered, and I couldn't help but feel sad.

"Since you have already decided, regardless of whether it is possible to change your fate, I will fully support you. However, I am unable to help you."

"I do not need your help. I only hope that you can see our future, and also want you to understand that I will not submit to fate. "Also, I sincerely implore you, don't bring your father to visit my house. My family is indeed very poor."

"It's not up to me. Even if I don't go, my dad will come personally. However, you don't have to worry about that. As long as you are different from others, I will persevere in my faith. "

"If you really can't change it, then don't refuse, just follow your father around! Although my family is very poor, you can take a look at my living condition. "

Ding Bufan smiled bitterly and shook his head slightly.

At this moment, his mood was extremely heavy, as if he couldn't make up his mind when he thought of something.

At this moment, my state of mind had undergone a tremendous change. From my initial attitude of meeting someone for a blind date, I became worried. It was as if I had completely accepted the fact that I was meeting someone for a blind date.

As I thought about this, I had to think seriously again, whether it was because his ideals had moved me or because I was attracted to the prospects he had planned for me, whether I should be very clear about my state of mind or not, but the most obvious feeling was that I really didn't hate him, and that I didn't want to be separated from him.

I slanted my eyes to scan the courtyard under the setting sun. That indescribable sense of urgency had clearly risen in my heart, and the soreness of parting had already started surging through my entire body.