C5 5

***ANGELA

My eyes lost in the void, I keep running my fingers over my lips. Two days I can't stop thinking about that kiss. I wasn't expecting it at all. It was sudden... but so good. I close my eyes to better relive the scene. He has a way of kissing that is downright divine. His tongue curling over mine made my heart capsize. That kiss was simply delicious. I dreamed about it both nights. I felt him near me and worse, I imagined him inside me, making love to me as he kissed me. Tenderly, passionately, divinely. A warmth radiated in my lower abdomen.

Damn, I have to get him out of my head.

When I open my eyes, I meet Elionne's.

- Are you finally going to tell me what happened between you and him to make you be in the clouds all the time?

- He kissed me.

His lips widened with a smile.

- Oh my God! Finally it's coming. And how was it?

- It was perfect. Everything was perfect and that's what scares me. With Jerome it was the same. One kiss, one night and then he disappeared, leaving me alone with a pregnancy. He came back a few years later and this time it was a succession of misfortunes.

- Why do you already think like that? Do you like him?

I walk my glance that ends lowered.

- I think so.

- Is that why you've been locked up for the last two days? To avoid him?

- Yes, I was. I'm afraid I'm going to get ahead of myself. I'm afraid I won't be able to resist him. I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

- Listen, sweetheart, not all men are the same. What you went through with that rotten dog Jerome is far behind you. You have to move on. Give yourself a chance at love again. I can't stand to see you so alone. You need a man who will love you and make you his queen.

- Is there still such a man?

- I think there is. My man is one, so there are others. If you feel good with this guy, then let yourself go. Life is a risk, and no risk is no reward.

- He's a little younger than me, I think.

- It must be a small gap. I'm not telling you to fall in his arms. But don't put too many barriers around you either. Let it out, baby.

I give a weak smile. I am so afraid of another disappointment that I don't want to meet this man anymore. Yet I miss him.

- I think I'll go for a run. Since we've been here I haven't exercised and I'm getting a belly.

- Okay. I'm going back to bed. I need to sleep in before I go back to my mom.

I put on my clothes and hurry to the elevator. As I pass by his door, I'm even afraid he'll come out and we'll meet. I let out a sigh of relief when I am out of the hotel. I'll just run along the street and back. I need it to forget a little about this kiss that troubles me so much. After

After three years, I am kissed by a man again. It disturbed me so much that I preferred to keep silent.

What if he was gone?

This thought suddenly jumps into my mind. It's been two days since I locked myself in my room. He hasn't come knocking either. Maybe he left the hotel. The thought suddenly makes me sad. Our little adventure would be over before it even started. So it is better for me to forget about it.

Walking on the way back, I am lost in my thoughts. I hesitate to ask at the reception if he is still there. I realize that I don't know his first name.

- Hi!

My heart skips a beat. When I look up, there he is, in front of me, in a jogging suit and a hoodie on his head. His gaze is exhilarating.

- Hi!" I reply, tucking a hair behind my ear.

- I thought for a moment that you had left. I mean, after I thought you were avoiding me.

- I wasn't avoiding you. I was just resting a bit after the crazy day we had.

- I feel better for it.

He smiles at me, with that charming smile that would leave no woman indifferent. He also finished his jogging so we make the way back together.

- It's rare to see women who practice sports these days. They are usually too busy doing their nails and putting on gimmicks.

- I've always liked working out. So I do it to keep my figure. I do five kilometers every morning on my treadmill.

It whistles.

- Well, I'll be damned. But then again, I do ten so.

- So what ? You're more athletic than me?

- Apparently so. Five kilometers in front of ten, that's not much.

- I do five because I have to go to work afterwards.

- No, you do five because that's all you can do.

I make an O with my mouth. I stop.

- Do you really underestimate me that much?

- Prove me wrong. Shall we race?

- Don't make me make a fool of you.

He laughs.

- The woman who will make a fool of me hasn't been born yet, believe me.

- Okay, let's race. If I win you bow down to me.

- Okay and if I win you have dinner with me tonight. A dinner just the two of us, somewhere secluded.

- You're on.

- Okay, get in position.

We take the position and he gives the start. As soon as I start, he's already ahead of me. Who sent me to accept this challenge? Seeing him really far away, I cry out in pain. I pretend to have sprained my ankle. He quickly comes back to me.

- What's wrong?" he asks worriedly.

- My ankle hurts.

He bends down to get a better look. But I push him and start to run. Only I don't even take two steps when he grabs me by the waist.

- Come here, you little sneak. I knew it.

- No, let me go!

He holds me firmly while I struggle. We laugh like kids in the street. I stumble and fall. He finds himself lying on top of me. Time seems to stand still in the ensuing exchange of glances. His face is much too close to mine. Just a small movement and our lips meet. My breathing becomes labored.

- You owe me dinner," he bellows to dispel the sexual atmosphere that has enveloped us.

I smile. He gets up and helps me do the same. We start walking again but for real I feel a pain in my ankle.

- I think this time it really hurts.

- Really? Are you in a lot of pain?

- No, I'm not in a lot of pain. I think it's a cramp.

- Okay, hop in.

He shows me his back.

- What?

- Get on my back. There's no way you're going to use a sore ankle as an excuse not to answer my dinner.

- Lol I didn't...

- Get on where I can forcefully lift you up.

I roll my eyes. I jump on his back. In spite of the sweat, his perfume envelops me. He starts walking again. I cling to him with a smile on my face. It's the first time in my life that a man takes me on his back. What gallantry! Everybody looks at us in the hotel but it doesn't seem to bother him. Normal, nobody really sees him with his hood covering his face. Even in the elevator he refuses to let me down. He takes us to his room, puts me on his couch and comes back with a balm. Without asking me, he starts to massage my ankle. I look at him without understanding what could push him to behave like that with me. He presses his cell phone and the music rises in the room. I burst out laughing.

- You are serious.

- You have to like this song.

He put back the music of this artist. He hums it at the same time while continuing to massage me. Watching him sing, I end up joining him with joy. He smiles. I think I have retained the words by listening to him in spite of myself. We sing together the two following songs. Finally, this artist sings well.

- You see that it is when you want, he says to me.

- How can I not give in when you chase me with it? Wait until I do a little research on this artist to find out more about him.

I take my cell phone but he snatches it away from me immediately

- Not now. You need to relax while I give you your massage.

I relax. After the massage he walks me back to my room. I take a shower and I join Elionne in her lie-in.

We arrive in a place that seems to me to be a park. I am amazed.

- What are we doing in a park at this hour? I thought we were going to dinner?

- Yes, we are. Here.

I look at him. Is he serious?

- Come on, follow me!

He guides me by my hand which he holds firmly in his. We stop in front of the big carousel. He is talking to a man and the next minute he asks us to sit down.

- What? Are you serious? No, I'm not getting on that ride.

- Hey, trust me, sweetheart. I'm not going to do anything to put your life in danger. Besides, it's a debt. You have to.

- Remind me not to make any more bets with you.

He smiles. I let him guide me again. With my heart pounding, I settle down. He does the same beside me. The man gives him a package.

- What is it? I ask him.

- Our dinner.

- You're crazy.

My laughter is lost in my throat as the Ferris wheel begins to spin.

- Oh my God!

- Stop screaming, it doesn't even go fast," he laughs.

- If I die, I'll take you with me.

- I'd love to.

I'm getting used to the rhythm. He's right, it goes slowly. I think I'm at the end of my rope when the machine stops while we are high in the sky.

- OH MY GOD!!! The machine is broken. We are going to die.

He laughs his head off.

- Calm down Angie! I'm the one who asked him to stop her once she got this high.

- But why? Have you lost your mind or what?

- Look ahead!

I turn my head and there... Wow! We have a magnificent view on the city. The city is very beautiful and illuminated.

- So? he asks.

- It is beautiful. You have an imagination, I admit it.

- Do not neglect me.

I keep my gaze fixed on nature. Not too far away, you can see the cars driving by. I see a bit of everything. Buildings, skyscrapers, the Ebrié lagoon, in short, a bit of everything.

- Here you are!

I take the can of candy he hands me and return to my contemplation. I feel alive again, well, at peace, peaceful. I feel something I felt many years ago. I feel like I belong.

- What are you thinking?" he asks me, curious.

- Seen like this, everything seems to be going well. Everything looks peaceful and nice. But once we get off, reality will hit us in the face again with all our problems.

I take a deep breath.

- I left this country eight years ago. I left my parents hoping to go to a better world. Yet I was throwing myself into the lion's den.

- Your daughter's father?

- Yes. I had my daughter when I was 15.

- Still hard to get used to.

- Yes, it was. I was young, stupid and in love. I was 15 and he was 18. He was my first time and this time was enough to give a baby. He denied paternity because he had to fly to France. A baby would cancel everything. He left, my parents kicked me out, I lived with the parents of a classmate until eight months pregnant when my parents came back to better

to better feelings. I had to quit school. Even after the baby was born. My parents were not wealthy, so they could not take care of my daughter and still pay for my classes. So I started selling with my mother at the market. I was saving money. I went back to school when I was 18 because I had earned enough from the odd jobs I was doing. I struggled to get the BAC so that I could take competitive exams. Everything went as planned and I got my first job.

I smile.

- It was a party at home. Finally I was going to get my head above water. Finally I could provide for my baby and help my elderly parents. Everything was perfect even though I couldn't have a stable relationship anymore. My heart was in pieces. So I lived with my daughter until one day, when I was 25, the devil knocked on my door. He had come back to ask for forgiveness for all the evil he had done to me. He wanted to know his daughter and marry me. I didn't want to but my heart gave out. I still loved him. My parents felt that this was the life that gave me a chance to be totally happy. I had an opportunity to reform my little family. So I accepted his proposal. Big mistake.

I take a drink.

- We got married the same year and flew to France. In the beginning everything was beautiful. But you can't pretend for long. His true nature came back at a gallop. He was cheating on me all the time. Every day a new girl. Every evening it was a new woman's perfume. I didn't understand. Why did he marry me if he was going to do this to me? I found out a year later that he had come back to us out of spite. He had gotten married but his wife couldn't give him a child. And he too had a little problem with his semen.

A problem that would take a long time to fix. Basically, I was the one who had given him his only offspring. This was the reason for his return. But despite all that, I stayed. I had nowhere to go anyway. He didn't want me to work. So I was dependent on him for everything. I put up with his fickle life for five years. More than once I fell in love with nudes. But I turned a blind eye to my daughter. She liked to have a

daddy. I didn't want to deprive her of that joy. Only in the fourth year, he gave me six STIs at once. Usually it was just one, which I treated easily. But this time it was six. I couldn't take it anymore and filed for divorce. But I didn't count on his cooperation. He threatened to take my daughter away from me if I didn't change my mind.

- And you did, I suppose?

- Not that time. I gave in and stayed, for my daughter. I was saving without him knowing because he was never around. It was with this money that I was going to pay the lawyer's fees. But I finally stayed. Things went on as before. Infidelity, humiliation, beatings, in short, the whole thing. A year later, I got yet another STI, which this time almost made me sterile. That is, if I'm not actually sterile. The doctor said that I should now count on my lucky stars because I might, like, never give birth again. I was devastated. My world was falling apart. I had faith that I could have another baby with my man. But that was dead. I put the divorce back on the table. He brought up the threat too.

- And?

- I went through with it. I told myself, it was better that I stay away from my daughter alive than dead. I didn't want her to be an orphan. I went for it. As a result, he took my daughter away from me and I was left with no money. Everything belonged to him anyway. But my lawyer fought for me to keep the house. I sold it and rebuilt my life in another city. My parents died at the same time so I was completely alone. Until I met Elionne. She saw her Ivorian sister in need and she didn't hesitate to help me. Her husband hired me in his company and thanks to them, today I am quite stable financially.

- But your daughter?

- I pray that she will contact me since she is now of age. I did everything I could to find her in vain. I put out a wanted poster with the help of the police but so far without any response. I tried the social networks, still nothing. Besides, I don't really know anything about it. In our time there were no such things.

- Your time? You talk like you're an old woman," he laughs.

- I'm saying that in relation to you. You're younger than me.

- Yes, by just five years. It's not that far off.

- It doesn't matter. We're not from the same era.

I join him in his laughter.

- I'd rather see you with that smile on your face," he says. I like you better with a smile than with tears.

His voice becomes soft. I turn my head in his direction. He stares at me.

- No man has the right to make you cry. But I remember tonight that you are much more than I thought. You are very brave. To go through everything you went through and still be on your feet? You have to be you to do it.

He slides his finger across my cheek.

- You deserve to be loved like never before. You deserve all the sweetness in the world because you've taken enough of the world's pain. You are like honey and no one has the right to take away your sweetness, your flavor, and that exquisite taste that hides inside you.

- Wouldn't that be the lyrics of a song?

- I just made it up.

I laugh to camouflage my emotions. How beautiful these words are. He brings his lips closer and places them delicately on mine. I shudder. He breaks the barrier of my lips with his tongue and I, in spite of all my will, give way to him. He is going to end up driving me crazy with this delicious way of kissing. He slides his fingers on my cheek to better deepen the kiss. I want more. I want to be loved tonight. But he ends the kiss. Much too quickly.

- I want to kiss you every time I see you, he admits to me.

I smile and lower my head.

- We should hurry up and finish and get back before I lose all control of myself.

- Okay.

The drive home was again silent. I kept biting my lip for fear of asking her something I would regret.

***COLLINS

I hold back from kissing him again, in the elevator. It doesn't help that it's just the two of us. We finally arrive.

- I hope you had a good time?

- Yes," she replies shyly. Thank you!

- Pleasure shared.

We stop in front of my bedroom door.

- So we say to each other tomorrow?

- Yes, we'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow.

We stay a few seconds to exchange a glance. She is the first to turn away. I do the same. But once my door is open, I am stung to the core. I turn around again.

- Angie!

As soon as she turns around, I literally throw myself on her lips. She automatically puts her arms around my neck as if she was expecting this.

- I want more of you tonight, I confess to her against her lips.

A sparkle lights up in her eyes. I think she wants it too. I take her back to my room which I condemn without looking. My lips are already lost on hers. I press her strongly against me. I feel like if I leave her, I will lose her forever. I don't want to release her luscious lips anymore. I want to enjoy her all my life. I take off her dress and lift her up. She wraps her legs around me. I put her on the bed, taking care not to bump into her. I take my cell phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and turn on the player. The notes of my song start playing. She helps me undress. With my teeth, I remove her lingerie. I move up with kisses from her legs to her chest.

- You are beautiful Angie!

She moans and arches her back at the touch of my fingers on her flower. I love the way her breasts point at me. Without letting go of her flower, I suck on one. Hearing her moan increases my pleasure tenfold. I want to possess her right now, but first I want to show her, by my actions, how precious she is. She needs to feel beautiful and desirable again after all she has been through. I want to show her how much she blows my mind when I'm with her.

She clutches the bed as my fingers slide inside her. She gasps more and more. I follow up with hickeys on her neck. I feel her coming. Her body is taken of trembling.

- Go ahead and let go my honey, I blow in the hollow of her ear. You are so beautiful when you moan.

I go further and there, it is the explosion. I kiss her to stifle her cry. She goes down little by little. I watch her catch her breath. She is so beautiful like this. I want to watch her all my life. To make her cum all my life. To show her that she is special.

- Are you ok? I asked her.

She nods and keeps her eyes down. I think she is ashamed.

- What's the matter?

- I... I haven't known a man since my divorce. I'm afraid I'm not up to it.

I smile.

- Just enjoy. That's all I want. You have no idea what you do to me, Angie.

She looks at me. I kiss her.

- Let me take care of you.

I resume the caresses, the kisses. I prepare her to receive me. Then when I enter in her after having protected me, I immobilize myself at the very second. I am twisted by a fleeting desire. But I am especially struck by an obviousness. I will not be able to do without this woman any more. She has just marked me. After a moment to push back the pleasure, I begin to move. She is only sighing and moaning. I feel her pleasure in my flesh. I go there with each blow a little harder. She leaves first in the orgasm. I follow her two strokes later. I collapse next to her and pull her into my arms. Nobody speaks but I believe that we understand each other.

She finally falls asleep in my arms after we have made love again. She sleeps peacefully. I just look at her. It's amazing what she's given me in just one week of dating. This woman has changed my life. By her simplicity, by her beauty but especially by her smile that made me fall in love from the first day. Now, what will happen? Do I tell her the truth about me? About why I came to this country? And, will she still want to date me? Or, if she agrees to date me, will she like me or the artist?

I startled at the sharp knock on the door.

- Shit, but who could it be?

I leave the bed slowly. I put on a stocking and go to open.

- Daddy?

- Yes, Daddy. Let's go inside.

- What are you doing here?

- I said let's go home and now. The jet is already ready.

He's trying to get in but I'm in the way.

- What's going on?

He's detailing me.

- Ah, you're with a whore.

- I forbid you to call her that.

- It doesn't matter. Hurry up and get your stuff.

I get out completely and close the door behind me.

- I can't just leave, Dad. I have something to take care of first.

- With that... girl in there? Collins, you already have a problem with one girl and you want to add to it?

- Dad, I...

- Listen to me, I'm talking to you now as your manager, not your father.

Your career is at stake with this rape story. You want to have fun? Yes, don't worry, you will. But after this story is over. Right now you can't afford a distraction. You're a black star in a white country and these white people are ready to destroy your career. Don't give them the opportunity. Remember all the sleepless nights you had composing the sounds of your first album that went gold, silver and platinum. You don't want to go through that again? You don't want to do what you love most in the world? Don't you want to hear your audience chanting your name at shows? Collins, we're talking about your dream. You've worked hard to get here. Are you ready to let this family rip it all away from you like this?

I'm putting my head down.

- This girl is just one more. You'll see that in less than a week, you'll find another one.

- That's different.

- In this case let life bring you together. You can find her whenever you want. I just want you to focus on your career. You need to get a new album out that will erase all these scandals. You've got to get back out there. Your audience is getting restless. We need to go now, Collins.

It pains me to admit it, but my father is right. My career is going down the drain. I need to save it. I've worked hard to get here. I refuse to lose it all now.

- Okay, wait for me, I'll be right back.

I go back into the room. She is still asleep. Without making any noise I put my things away. I feel terrible that it's ending like this between her and me, but I can't impose my life, my world on her. It's too complicated right now for me to let her in. She needs a peaceful life. She needs a man who can protect her. Me, with the media after me at every turn, I'm afraid I can't spare her from certain things. I write a note on a piece of paper and put it on the bedside table. I place a kiss on her temple and go out to find my father. The farther I get from the room, the more it hurts. She may hate me, but it's better for both of us. And to think I fell in love with her.

***ANGELA

I wake up in a daze. The smell of the male in the sheets reminds me of my crazy night. I squeeze my eyes in shame. My God, how could I have moaned so much and so loudly in the arms of this stranger? How will he see me now? I screamed like a madwoman. But how could I not, when my body was in want three years? How can I not, when he expertly manipulated my body as if he was the one who shaped it? How do I now look him in the eye? I can't. But I'll have to face him. I'm in his room and in his bed.

I turn in his direction but his place is empty. Maybe he's in the bathroom. I sit down, taking care to cover my chest with the sheet. What will happen now? Are we together, in a relationship? Or is it just a romance that will last the time we are here? Do I want a relationship? With him? I feel good with him. I feel special when he lays eyes on me. So should I let myself go? Maybe my best friend is right. I should give myself another chance at love.

I'm intrigued by the silence in the room. Is he out on an errand? I make a move when a leaf falls off the bed. I pick it up. There is an inscription on it.

"I'm out. Sorry."

Hmm? What? What do you mean he's gone? What do you mean he's gone? Gone where? Is this a joke? I call the reception because I'm intrigued.

- "Mr. AGNIMEL left last night. He cut his stay short. Are you the woman occupying his room right now?"

My ears are ringing. He left late last night. I hang up like an automaton, without answering the receptionist. He left like that, after our night. What went wrong? What did I do that made him run away? Wasn't I that good? Unless...

- Oh my God!

I was fooled as a kid. He was just playing with me. He was leading me on while I put the organs in. Oh God how could I be so naive? To be taken for a ride by a man younger than me? He just wanted to have fun. A young man who probably challenged himself to sleep with a woman older than him. And me... me... God, I'm in pain. I get dressed and rush out of her room. Before I get to mine, my tears betray me. I slam the door.

- Oh, what's going on? Why are you slamming the door like that?

I sit down heavily on the bed. My throat is knotted.

- Wasn't your night nice?

- I was tricked, Elionne.

I told you so but you didn't listen to me.

- Didn't you?

- I told you I didn't want to be with men anymore," I said, my voice trembling.

- But...

- I didn't want to trust a man anymore. I didn't want to be fooled anymore, I didn't want to open my heart. I didn't want to let myself go. But you talked me out of it. It's all your fault.

- Baby, tell me what's wrong. Why are you like this?

- He's gone, you hear me? I said, raising my voice. I gave myself to him all night. I let myself go like you said. I offered myself to him and he left. He used me and disappeared. And you know what the worst part is? I opened up to him. I told him everything about myself. About my past, about my wounds. I confided in him when I know absolutely nothing about him. I don't know who he is. I don't even know his name. My God, what have I done?

I hide my face and cry silently.

- I'm sorry, sweetie," she says, stroking my hair.

- It's your fault, Elijah. Why didn't you just leave me in Paris in my daily life? Why did you encourage me to do that?

- I just wanted you to relax. I had faith that you would find love. But why are you in this state? Take what happened to the second degree. He had a good time, you had a good time. Everyone comes out a winner.

I look down.

- Unless... You fell in love with him?

I grit my teeth. Without answering him, I go to the bathroom and close behind me. I don't want to think about it. I prefer not to think about it.