C1 Chapter 1

"Hey, Yang?"

"What's with the call Mia?" I asked her.

"Why do you sound so annoyed? Aren't you happy I called you, Best friend? " She laughed.

"I'm doing something here, okay?" I rolled my eyes even though she can't see me.

Of course, because we're on a phone call.

"I know what you doin ', Leah. You're just scrolling in facebook finding some meme to share. Gosh, Leah! When will you stop doing that? I mean when we are in school and it's vacant you're doing that and when it's weekend you're also doing that. "

"You talk too much girl." I rolled my eyes again. I don't like the idea of her scolding me because of this.

"When will you stop?" she asked again.

"Not gonna happen." Then, I ended the call.

Duhh! As if I can? This is my life. Facebook is my life. Facebook is my comforter when no one else would. And I'm enjoying doing this.

As they said, do what makes you happy. And this is me, doing what makes me happy.

I was busy scrolling when a name popped up in my screen again.

"Shocks! When will they stop calling me?" I mentally asked and answered the call.

"What's with the call Sean?"

"I knew it. I know you will ask me the same question you asked Mia earlier." He laughed

"You guys really talk too much, just please answer me because your interrupting my business."

I am very aware I sound annoyed because I really am.

"Interrupting your business, huh? You're not even gonna ask why I am with Mia?"

"No need, I know you're dating." I joked, trying to fool around.

But seems like he didn't get it.

"We're what? Dude, you're crazy. I swear you are. To think I will date my cousin? You're insane. Really." He shouted.

I bit my lower lip to stop from hurting. I cannot affor being shouted.

"I'm just kidding," I said trying to sound like I'm not crying. Then I ended the call.

This is the problem with me. I'm so sensitive. I hate this but I have no choice.

I was born like this and no matter how hard I try to change it. I can't because this is me.

I wiped away my tears when someone knocked the door. I am not expecting any visitors today. I got up from the couch and adjusted myself.

It's embarrassing to face the visitor as if you were in a fight. I faced the mirror and fixed my messy hair I also put some powder so it wouldn't be too noticeable that I cried. I smiled at the mirror.

"Smile, Leah, you have no choice. We're back at pretending. Be ready," I mentally said and sighed.

I went to the door and opened it. I opened it with a smile on my face.

He's back is on me because he's facing the other side. I cleared my throat to inform him that I already opened the door.

He faced me.

I smiled at him. "Hey du ---" He didn't let me finished my sentence because he hugged me, so tight.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

I faced him and smiled. "What's wrong?" I asked pretending I didn't know what he was saying.

He hugged me again ang tighter this time. "I didn't mean to say those words, dude. Im sorry." He whispered.

"You sure you didn't mean it?" I asked him

"Okay, I mean it but I'm sorry. I just got carried away. I mean you don't sound like you're joking so I assumed you're serious. And I'm so sorry for that. I really am, dude," he said softly without even looking at me.

"It's okay. Come on in." I guided him onto the sofa.

"I'm really sorry, dude." He pulled me to sit on the sofa.

"It's okay though I know you really meant it. And besides its my fault. I joked not thinking about what would be your reaction." I faked a laugh.

"You cried?" he asked out of nowhere.

"Nah! There's no reason to cry," I lied, of course.

I don't wanna tell him I did cried because he shouted at me.

"Dude, stop lying. I heard you cried earlier before you ended the call." He arch his brows.

"You heard me, huh?" I faked a laugh again. "So what's my sound? Do I sound like a goat? Pig? Cow?" I joked again trying to cover the serious mood.

He's just too serious that I'm afraid he'll not stop asking me. I don't want anyone to know that I'll cry just over small things.

"Stop fooling around, Leah. I know you," he seriously said.

“No, you don’t know me, Sean,” I mentally said again.

"Of course you know me. You're not here if you don't, Sean." I joked but he didn't laugh. He's just staring at me.

"What's with that look, Sean?" I asked curiously though I already know the reason.

"You don't have to pretend when you're with me, dude. Just be you and I'll accept you." He then smiled at me.

"Who says I'm pretending, dude? You're over reacting." I even slapped his arm lightly.

"When you're with me stop pretending, ease? I hate it, it felt like you are not true to me and to your self," he said seriously, half pleading.

"I need to pretend to cover up the pain and to protect my self," I answered seriously.

"Is it hard?" he suddenly asked.

"Hard what?" I asked him, shocked at his sudden question. " I don't know, dude, I don't have one. I'm a girl, remember?"

He laughed at what I said. Did I say something wrong? That's right, I don't really know because I'm a woman. Duh!

After he laughed that he almost ate me, he became serious.

"What I mean is, is it hard not to show what you really feel inside your heart, dude. Tsh! Dirty minded!" He laughed. " Silly!"

And then realization bumped me.

" So stupid of you self," I mentally said for the nth time.

"At first, yeah." I nodded. "But when you always do it, you'll be used. It'll not be hard anymore. It'll be so easy for you to hide how you deel." I smiled at him, falsely.

"How do you do that?" he suddenly asked again.

I almost rolled my eyes in annoyance. He asked a lot of questions.

"Well, if the world left you no choice but to pretend just to save your self from all the embarrassment in this world, you just found yourself doing it," I answered again.

He nodded at what I said as if he was impressed by what I just answered.

Tsk! If you only know how hard it is Sean, you can't smile like that.

"You sound like you perfected the art of it, don't you?"

"I did," I proudly said and smiled bitterly.

Yes, bitterly. Because who will be happy if you perfected the art of pretending? Just no one! Pretending isn't a good attitude but most of the people needs it.

"Why? Are the things you've been through too painful for you to perfect it?" he asked me.

His question reminds me of how broken I am inside. I maybe don't show it but that's because I am a pretender. It choked being a pretender.

I nodded. "You have no idea." I laughed bitterly, again.

"Then give me a clue." He smiled like he's assuring me that he can answer it correctly.

" Nevermind." I stood up and fetched water from the refrigerator but he complied.

"Come on, dude. Just one clue, please?" I turned to him and gave him a glass of water.

"I can handle this. I am strong!”I smiled at him but he just stared at me.

"I maybe don't know how broken you are inside but always remember that I'm here for you, always." He put the empty glass in the table and hugged me.

His hug is warm and overwhelming. He's my guy bestfriend that even he forgot about me sometimes because of our other friends, I still treat him as my best friend. I hugged him back.

"That's what dude are for," I joked that made him laugh.

He left me and went back to the couch.

I was about to enter my room when Sean's cellphone rang. He took his cellphone out of his pocket and answered the call.

"Hello? Yeah, I'm with her. What? Okay, we're coming," he said and hung up the phone. He looked at me.

"Who was that and why are you looking at me like that?" I curiously asked.

"It's Mia and if you already forgot, it's Jully-ann's birthday today. So get dressed and make yourself pretty because we'll be late." I can see the worry in his face.

"Shocks! Why did you just say that now? If we'll be late, it's really your fault," I blamed him before finally entering my room and getting dressed.

I just wore simple. High waist black pants and fitted gray crop top with large W written.

I tied my long and straight hair to the top of my head. I put powder and liptint only because I'm not into make ups. I only put polbo and liptint if I have something important to go.

I feel like when I put on thick make-up, my face looks like a coloring book. I don't know but I just hate the feeling. And for the last thing, I'm going to wear my new white sneakers.

I'm ready. I went out of the room and found Sean on the couch talking someone over his cellphone. Only now did I also notice that he was dressed.

I wish I had noticed it earlier so I wouldn't have to taste Jully-ann's sermon later because I was late for her birthday party. Why did I even forgot? Ugh!,

"Let's go?" He asked me.

He was standing in front of me and I didn't even notice it. He walks fast.

"Yeah." I smiled.

We were just quiet on the way to Jully-ann's house. Sean was driving because it was his car. I was just looking out the window of his car when he broke the silence.

"It looks good on you."

"What?" I asked in astonishment.

"The bracelet I gave you the other day," he said while the look was still on the road.

I was wearing the bracelet he gave us the other day. He gave me, Mia, Jully-ann my cousin Winlab a bracelet as a sign that we are important to him.

It's unfair of him because he didn't give our male friends, too. But it's okay with our male friends because they'll call Sean gay if he gave them one.

They are really crazy.

"Yeah, it's beautiful. Thank you for it, hm?" I sincerely said.

"How many times did you repeat that the other day. Isn't it over yet?" He joked and laughed

I laughed too. He joke so corny sometimes but at least he's with me when I need him. So unlike our other friends.

"And I'm declaring you as the MOST OF THE MOST SWEETEST FRIEND, dude." I laughed loudly.

He laughed. "You're funny as always."

I went silent. I felt a slight pain in my heart because of what he said.

I don't think so, dude. No one even appreciates my presence.