C3 Chapter 3

"What if I'm serious?" It was as if I was suddenly deaf to what I heard. Is he serious? Is this still a joke? Why does this seem true? No way, we're dudes. NO!

"W-What?"

"What if I'm serious about what I said earlier?" His face was still serious.

" Uhm what ---" I didn't finish what I was going to say when he let out a loud laugh.

" Just kidding, dude." He laughed.

They laughed at me and as I seemed to be running out of air. Is he making a joke? Is he crazy? Does he know I'm just a girl and easy to expect?

I don't understand, I know I don't like him but why am I hurting? Maybe it's because I hope that even if I'm not beautiful, a heart throb like him will like a simple girl like me.

I always been insecure to the pretty girls in our school.

I felt like there were tears forming in my eyes so I quickly pretended that there's something in my eyes just to wipe away the tears that were forming in it.

"You're strong Leah. Is this the only thing that will make you cry? You are beautiful, you are beautiful. Don't be insecure with others. Someday someone will also accept you as you are. Fighting! " I cheered my self in my mind.

"Tsk! I know," I lied. I need too.

"Your face is epic. Are you nervous about what I said?" They all laughed at me again.

Doesn't he know I hope he likes me, too? I didn't like him but I was really hurt when I found out that it was just a joke with him. I feel like no one will like me as handsome as him.

"Me? Nervous? Tsk! It's like you don't know me." I fake a laugh and tapped his shoulde.

They stopped laughing when they saw me laugh.

"Oh? What's the matter? Why are you quiet?" I curiously asked but they just smirked and started talking to each other excluding Sean.

"What happened to them?" I asked Sean again but he just shrugged his shoulders and stood up, he went to the rest of our friends and talked.

"Now I'm out of place again." I whispered.

I got up and went out without letting them know. They didn't seem to care even I go home. They also seem to be having fun talking. This is always the scene. They chatted happily while I gape, watching them.

I begged their guard to let me out for a while and he agreed. I got out of the gate and sat on the side of the road right next to Jully-ann's house.

I didn't care even if it was hot, I just took a deep breath and lifted my two legs to line up. I hugged my knees and headed.

I don't want to go back inside yet, I wanna stay here for a while. It's good that I am alone even because I don't have to pretend. It's not like inside that I feel like I'm being strangled every time they hurt me with their words but I have to pretend.

I stayed there for a few minutes when I felt someone beside me. I just ignored it and still remained bent over. But even if I don't look, I know who it is.

"Hi?" She greeted me so I looked at her and smiled.

"What are you doing here? You should be inside and chitchat with our joker friends." I tried to laugh but ended up smirking, he also didn't laugh at my joke.

"Are you okay?" she suddenly asked.

"Tsk! Why wouldn't I be okay?" I asked but she just smirked, again.

"Nothing. I just asked, you just left suddenly." I laughed at what she said.

"It's like you're not used to me, that's how I used to be."

"I'm your cousin so I'm used to you but something is bothering me."

"You're my cousin so I'm used to a lot of things that bothers you," I joked to get a laugh from her.

"You know me too well, Couz." She laughed.

I winked my hair. "I know right."

We looked at each other and at the same time laughed at what I did. I only do that once.

"You know how to laugh really hard."

I suddenly stopped laughing at what she said.

"What are you saying? I always laugh." I still laughed but she didn't laugh with me.

"You're always laughing but it's always not true," she seriously said.

And that caught me off guard.

" You always notice eveything." I slapped her on the arm before laughing.

"Seriously Leah, why are you pretending to be happy and trouble-free in front of them, always?" She asked seriously.

"You know, you're really different. The amount you notice. I'm proud to be your cousin, eh." I faked a laugh. She was still serious and stared at me even more.

" If I'll get pissed, Leah, I'll throw you on the road and let you be run overed," she threatened me which made me laugh loudly.

"As if you can."

"I can, " she said seriously that stopped me. "Look, Leah, I'm here because I know you need someone to talk to right now so if you have plans to open up to me spill it because I'm not a hero who will be there for you always. I have all the time in the world to listen, now. So come on. I'm being nice now so be nice, too. I won't tell anyone. I swear." She touched my cheek and wiped away my tears.

I didn't know that I was crying because of what she said.

"Shh. Don't cry." She pulled me up and hugged me. I hugged her, too.

"I'm scared, Winlab." That's all that came out of my mouth before I finally sobbed.

"Shh, it's okay, you'll be fine." I look at her still crying.

"When? When I am exhausted? When I am dead? Im tired of this," I said sobbing.

"I know you're strong so you can surpass this. I know that you're hurting all the time but please stop pretending. Show us that you're hurting, maybe we can help you." She caressed my back.

"I can't, I'm afraid of judgments."

"You're scared of everything that could possibly happen so you're hiding how you feel. Is that right?"she asked and I just nod.

"Don't be afraid, live your life. Show us the real you and we will accept you." I broke away from hugging her and stared at her.

"You can't say that. You don't know what's in their mind. I hate judgment and I don't want to be judged. I better pretend than to be judged." I smiled at her fakely.

"And how did you know that they will judge you if you show them the real you?"

"Judgment is everywhere, Couz. Either it's your friend or your family." I smiled at her again and stand up. I held out my hand to her.

"Let's go back inside. They're looking for you," I said and walked ahead.

"They're looking for you, too," she said as she followed me.

I looked at him and smiled. " A lie," I said and turned towards the gate.

" Uncle guard, we're coming in." Smiling I said to the guard. He opened it so I thanked him and walked towards the backyard.

"Hey, where are you going?" Winlab suddenly asked.

I faced her. "Just in the backyard, I'll sleep for a while. You go in there, they're looking for you and that's for sure." I smiled at her. I didn't let her answer, I turned around and continued walking.

"You follow right away, hm?" She shouted.

"Sleep, right? How can I follow right away?" I shouted back without looking back.

"You're going to sleep inside." She shouted but I just raised my left hand and waved at her.

I continued walking until I reached the tree behind their house. I lay down on the hammock tied to the tree branch.

The branch is strong so it is not scary that you might fall. So here I hang out when I'm here at Jully-ann's house because I'm here alone and the wind is strong so it's nice to sleep.

I stared for a moment at the tree where the cradle I was riding was tied.

I really like places like this, the ones where I'm alone, windy, quiet, and I can sleep soundly.

I put my two hands behind my head to make a pillow. I closed my eyes to sleep. I'll sleep more first. I'll come back later, they totally don't need me there.

I woke up to feel someone holding my cheek. I opened my eyes and saw Sean. He suddenly smiled when he saw me awake.

"Hi?" he gretted. I sat up straight on the hammock and smiled.

"Hey?" I smiled too.

He sat down next to me and fixed my messy hair.

"You really act like a kid," he said while still fixing my hair. I just let him fix my hair.

"Are there children and adults when a person sleeps?" I joke to reap laughter from him.

"By the way, why are you sleeping here?" he asked.

"Tsk! This is my favorite spot, dude."

"You know I really don't want you to sleep here, maybe you might fall, this cradle is still small," he said like a father.

"I'm used to it, Sean. Stop scolding me." I rebuked him. He finished fixing my hair so he sat in front of me.

"The stubbornness of you, Leah. You don't obey." He was annoyed but I just laughed at him.

"Tsk! Are you my father for me to follow?" I joked but he didn't laugh.

He was really annoyed with me because his thick eyebrows had already reached out.

"The next time I see you sleeping here I'll really kiss you," he said seriously but I just laughed.

"Can you? Can you? What? Can you?" I challenged and even brought my face closer to his.

"Lie down on the cradle again and sleep again." he said seriously and laid me on the hammock.

"Wait, why? I don't want to sleep anymore," I complained but he still made me lie down so I just lay down on the cradle again.

"Shut up," he commanded

"Why are you putting me to sleep again?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Close your eyes!" he ordered so I just closed my eye.

Even though I didn't want to follow him, I knew there was nothing I could do. When he decides, there is no more. Someone has already won.

I am confused about this not until I felt something slowly touch my lips.

I opened my eyes and saw Sean kissing me?

"S-Sean?" To my great surprise I didn't push him and that's all I could say.

He looked at me and smiled after he kissed me.

"Now you tell me I can't?"