Not Like Me/C3 Rocket
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Not Like Me/C3 Rocket
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C3 Rocket

I head home from the party. Pretending nothing happened. For the first time in my life, I feel girly in every sense of the word. Even in my tomboy make-up-less state, Zander called me beautiful and wanted to kiss me.

This has never happened to me before. I want to tell Brittany all about my kiss and the chemistry Zander and I have. It's magic. It's fire. And it's a damn secret. A secret I can't share with anyone other than Zander himself.

I lie in my bed and play that moment in my head over and over again. I go over every detail of our kiss. And I feel stupid. This is stupid. It's stupid to kiss. Kissing is for adults and people in love. And that's not me, not no way, not no how. I fall asleep.

In the middle of the night, I hear the sound of chattering. It's the goddamn raccoons again. It must be nice to be a raccoon and steal people's shit.

There's an asshole male lead raccoon. I call him Rocket. His beta male counterpart is Meeko. Naming raccoons after famous ones doesn't make me love them more.

"Dad, Rocket's at it again," I say.

My half-asleep father gets his rifle and is prepared to kill them. I grab a taser. Together in our pajamas, we sneak to the attic to trap those pesky pests.

Mom hands dad a large net. And we start the count down.

"3...2...1," dad says.

"Come here, you little assholes," I shout.

Rocket jumps up at me with his rat claws. The asshat raccoon is digging its paws into my hair. I lift my arm and tase him in the face. Dad swats my head with a large net.

Great, now the tased Rocket and I are trapped together in the same net. My dad fishes me out. Now, I know how Peter Rabbit felt when he got caught in that large net.

"What are you going to do with Rocket?" I ask.

"For now, I'll put him in a cage and deal with him in the morning," dad replies.

Dad takes Rocket and puts his little tased body in a cage. I almost feel bad for him. Too bad he liked our attic so much. Maybe we can deliver him to animal control.

I head back to bed and notice my phone has lots of text messages on it, all from Zander.

Zander: Are you awake?

Me: Yes.

Zander: I'm sorry for what I said at the party.

Me: It's okay. Why are you awake?

Zander: I was hungry.

Me: We were having raccoon issues.

Zander: That's funny.

Me: We finally caught Rocket.

Zander: Who's Rocket?

Me: The large male.

Zander: Did you catch Groot, too?

Me: Not yet.

Zander: Do you want to hang with me tomorrow?

Me: With Brittany?

Zander: No, just me.

Me: I can't.

Zander: Why?

Me: I want to.

Zander: So, let's hang then.

Me: What about Brittany?

Zander: Forget her. Let's meet at the bench on the path.

Me: Okay. Night, Zander.

Zander: Night, Ash.

I reread my messages to and from Zander. I'm in way over my head here. I certainly can't hang with Zander. I definitely can't hang with him behind Brittany's back.

But she did say to keep the other girls away from him. So I'm not one of the other girls, am I? I'm Ashley Tudor, and I'm confused.

The morning sun enters my room. I'm too scared to get up. But, I know, sooner or later, I'm going to have to face the fact that I pushed Leslie into the pool.

The doorbell rings. Brittany has invited herself over.

"Oh my God, Ash. You won't believe it," Brittany shouts.

"Believe what?" I ask.

"My brother has a girlfriend, " Brittany replies.

I blush. What the hell is going on? I'm not Zander's girlfriend. I hope he didn't tell Brit the truth that we did play seven minutes in heaven.

"Who is it?" I ask in my calmest voice.

"Leslie Thompson," Brittany replies.

My heart drops to the floor. How can that be? Zander said all those things to me last night. Was it all a trick? Is Brittany testing me? I pushed Leslie into the pool, and now they are dating?

Wait, why should I care? This is Zander. Zander the mess. Zander, the player. Zander the fuck-up. Zander the best damn kiss I have ever experienced in my sixteen years of breathing.

Zander, the twin of my best friend, Brittany, who would be angry at the fact that I kissed her precious brother without telling her. It's not like I have a choice. Why did that kiss have to be so amazing? Why?

"Ash, what's wrong?" Brittany asks.

I still haven't replied yet. I don't know what to say. I feel mind fucked by both of these twins.

"I guess I'm still not feeling all that well," I lie.

What the hell am I supposed to tell Brittany now?

Maybe, I should put it all behind me and pretend none of it ever happened. It was all in my head. If I can accept that, then I can move on with my life.

"Want to go home?" Brittany asks.

"No, I'm fine. And as for Zander, good for him. He needs a girl to calm him down," I say.

I tell Brittany about catching Rocket. It's good to change the subject. It's good to move forward for the sake of my friendship. I never kissed Zander and never held his hand.

Brittany leaves my house. I forget about meeting Zander on the path. He can go fuck himself for all I care. Zander texts me.

Zander: Where are you?

Me: Not coming.

Zander: Why not?

Me: Fuck you.

I don't text Zander anymore. I don't want to. I ignore everyone for the rest of the day. Hanging out with Zander behind Brittany's back is not like me. And Zander Hogan isn't worth it.

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