C2 A death wish.

As Xena stood right before her parents, she realized she had never wished for something as much as she wished for death at the moment. The looks of dismay she saw on the swollen, reddish eyes of her father had said it all. She had finally crossed the line. She had broken her father's most important rule and worst of all, she had tricked them into thinking she was dead. It was one thing to disobey her parent's wishes but it was yet another thing for her to overplay thier wisdom.

She had heard of the footmen they sent to look for her in the freezing weather. The gravity of her actions dawning heavily on her, caused her shoulders to slump. Truly,she hadn't really thought things through. She wanted to kneel and plead, beg for their mercy even so they could know she felt apologetic but she couldn't. She couldn't display emotions she didn't feel and lying to her parents was the least on her list.

"I cannot believe you're my daughter. You do not act like someone who is my blood. I find it very hard to believe I sired a person who could be so foolish." her father had finally spoken up. The words stung as bad as a spider would but, she deserved it. Heck,she deserved even more. She had after all, ruin her family's big day. Her once respectable and honorable father would seem like a fool before many because of her.

Staring into the cold, blue eyes of her father, she recalled how he had always instructed her on the one rule to never break.

"The very last thing you should do before your death is ruin your family's name. " Her father's voice repeatedly played itself in her head.

She had not just destroyed their name but she had totally diminished it.

"Why do you so badly hate the idea of mates?" He brought up the topic as he adjusted his weight on the chair.

It wasn't new to either of them,they would bicker on how and why she didn't want a mate and her father would still shove her opinions aside. Quietly,she waited for privacy.

With a quick wave of his hands, every worker exited the room. She had definitely given them a gossip worthy of a month. The entire clan would speak of it for ages and there would be no end to the mockery. She had successfully given herself a stain,one that would stick forever.

"When I ask a question, you answer." He quietly spoke awaiting her reply.

Quickly, she casted another glance at his direction but words would not leave her mouth.

She wanted to explain but to her father,there was no reason that would justify her actions.

"Xena, what more could we have done to make your life better? " Her father's wife asked.

Quickly, she closed her lids not wanting her eye balls to roll in their sockets. The last thing she needed as another bashing from a relative. She knew she was wrong and had admitted it but magaret just wanted to rub it all in her face,as expected. The pride of the family has fallen.

"You left your groom at the altar. You feigned your death and you left everyone at the church waiting."

" You have ruined your life! " She stressed,cracking her high-pitched voice.

"Magaret, I may have done many horrible things but I definitely didn't ruin my life. Trust me. "Xena defended immediately, pointing a finger at her direction.

Fr someone who was in deep trouble,she was quite cocky and she knew.

Why wouldn't she feel bad?

Maybe if she cried and rolled on the floor,it would make things better.

Her father's glare told her she had broken another rule but she couldn't care any lesser than she did. She would never call magaret her mother and that was final. Moreover,the deed had been done and hopefully, her father would learn to respect her decision some other time.

"Is there someone I need to know about?" He asked, lifting his weight off the chair.

"Huh?"

"Is there someone I need to know about?" He repeated.

"There has to be someone that's causing you reject every suitor coming your way. There's probably —"

" —there's no one. " She quicky interrupted.

As Xena looked directly into her father's glowing eyes, she realized one thing. He would never understand the reason for her actions. No one would.

"I have no interest in a mate and that's it." She finalized, leaving their presence.

As she walked, she felt their eyes lingering on her; her father, magaret, the workers and the miscreants she was forced to call siblings.

They were all probably wondering what had snapped in their then perfect and adoring sister but no one knew. Not even her.

"It would have been better if you were actually dead" she heard her father's voice proclaim. Her feet halted,her breath seized and her world seemed to have frozen. More to say,she felt a sting at her heart but she still couldn't speak.

With a cold sigh, her feet dragged themselves up the stairs.

The last thing she needed was a banter with anyone.

A slam at the door set her soul at peace. As she slid down the cold wood, listening to the howls of owl and the sounds of the wind disturbing the curtains, she felt her heartbeat settle.

There was truly nothing compared to the peace that came with solemnty.

Everything would be fine. Everything had to be fine. Tomorrow, everything would return to normal and they would forgive her of her sins but..... the streets would never forget. Her tales would be written boldly in the walls of her heart and avoiding it would be impossible.

"Ugh...." A groan escaped her throat as she heard a banging on the door.

Reluctantly, she lifted herself and soon her hand was on the door knob.

"What do you want?"

"Your father slumped, we can't find a pulse."