C17 Little Secretary

Jingyan rubbed his temples with a look of exasperation, unsure of what Xiaoya was up to this time. Grabbing his jacket, he headed out.

As Jingyan passed through the secretarial office, the staff gasped at his entrance. They quickly pulled out their mirrors to touch up their makeup, worried about making a poor impression on their boss. To everyone's surprise, Jingyan walked straight to Shu Ann's desk and said, "You can leave early today. I'm heading out, so take your work home."

Shu Ann was startled by Jingyan's sudden approach. Reflecting on Xiaoya's recent call and Jingyan's words, she guessed he was off to meet Xiaoya. She couldn't help but realize how much she cared about Jingyan.

Watching Jingyan's retreating figure, Shu Ann thought, "He says he doesn't want to see her, yet he's rushing out. Jingyan's words really can't be trusted."

When Jingyan saw Xiaoya's cold expression, he felt a bit helpless, though he didn't show it. Xiaoya glanced at him, and he immediately understood, leading them both outside.

Jingyan's eyes flickered, not out of guilt, but a slight sense of remorse. He knew Xiaoya didn't have feelings for him, and she was aware he didn't like her. Even if there had been some fondness before, she had long forced herself to let it go.

"Sit," Jingyan said coolly, not wanting to continue the standoff. Even if Xiaoya wasn't tired, he wouldn't forget basic courtesy. Xiaoya obediently sat on a nearby bench in the well-maintained park, which was quiet at this time. Jingyan sat down too.

Xiaoya glanced at the incredibly handsome man before her, someone who was both a brother and a friend. She didn't want to interfere or get entangled in his relationship, but she felt it was only fair for Jingyan to understand her feelings. She had every right to express them, and whatever Jingyan thought afterward was not her concern.

"I'm not here to pressure you into marriage or to accuse you of anything," Xiaoya said calmly. Jingyan was taken aback, raising an eyebrow with interest, signaling her to continue. He had expected Xiaoya to come, but her reasons seemed to defy his expectations.

Jingyan was curious about what she would say next. Xiaoya, however, took her time. "How have you been lately?" she asked politely. Jingyan gave a nonchalant reply, saying he was doing okay. Since Xiaoya wasn't rushing to the main topic, Jingyan didn't push her, engaging in casual conversation instead.

Occasionally, she asked questions he chose not to answer, which made Xiaoya realize that Jingyan truly didn't care about her. He treated her like a stranger, avoiding any personal questions. Given this, she saw no reason to dwell on it. She had never expected anything from this love, and now it was just her stubbornness that kept her going.

"Let me get straight to the point. I hope you'll seriously listen to what I have to say next," Xiaoya said, looking directly into Jingyan's eyes with sincerity. Jingyan, too, furrowed his brow, meeting her gaze with equal seriousness.

He knew Xiaoya well, like a sister. She was a strong woman who had never been defeated by any man. If he hadn't met Shu Ann, he might not have resisted the idea of marrying this girl who he had a faint affection for.

He understood that he had a slight fondness for Xiaoya, which is why he became distant after meeting Shu Ann. He didn't want Xiaoya to misunderstand or get caught up in this complicated situation. Jingyan genuinely didn't want Xiaoya to get hurt, especially emotionally. He knew that leaving things ambiguous would only hurt both of them, and he trusted that Xiaoya would understand.

What he might not have realized was that Xiaoya had noticed his attitude from the beginning. She had been trying to extinguish that flicker of love in her heart all along. Her repeated self-denial allowed her to remain calm and detached when Jingyan finally turned cold.

Jingyan had always been good to her. They weren't siblings or family, but she had grown up with the idea that she was his fiancée. In her teenage years, she devoted herself entirely to Jingyan, pouring all her youthful affection into him. In matters of the heart, she was naively vulnerable.

"Jingyan, you're not just like a brother to me; you're the only man I've ever truly cared for. You haven't wronged me because I understand that ambiguity would have been far more damaging, especially to me. I'm grateful for your decisiveness, but I also hope you'll listen to my feelings."

A hint of relief flickered in Jingyan's eyes, gradually warming his gaze. "Honestly, I've known for a long time that I'm not the person you love. I've tried to improve myself, hoping you'd grow to like me, or perhaps that time would change things. But I realized it was futile because you never saw me as anything other than a brother."

"My efforts went unrewarded, and it's a lie to say I don't care. I'm frustrated. Despite all the time we've spent together and my attempts to become someone worthy of you, you still fell for someone else," Xiaoya admitted, her frustration unmasked. Jingyan, lost for words, could only remain silent.

Fortunately, Xiaoya wasn't here to make things difficult for Jingyan or demand explanations. She just needed to know that she still held a place in his heart, and his silence gave her the answer she was looking for—he did care about her in some way.

"I never really loved you," she admitted. "I was just told I was your fiancée and needed to be worthy of you, to be with you forever. I thought about dating others, but the guilt was overwhelming. You were so good to me; how could I betray you? Even though I knew it wasn't love."

Jingyan's expression was complicated. He understood that Xiaoya, raised with such ideas, had no freedom. She felt guilty even considering other relationships, and her parents would surely have restricted her friendships. Suddenly, he felt selfish. He didn't love Xiaoya, yet he let her remain trapped by the label of fiancée.

"Do you realize how selfish you are, Jingyan? Men and women are treated differently. You were free to love, but I was taught to remain pure. I used to think it was okay because I was willing to do it for you," Xiaoya said with a hint of self-mockery, her words meant to provoke Jingyan.

Xiaoya was open-minded, but that didn't mean she buried her pain. She preferred to share it with someone, as a form of revenge. Jingyan understood this meant she was ready to let go. After this confrontation, it would be a clean break.

Compared to hidden threats, open ones were easier for Jingyan to handle. At least Shu Ann wouldn't be in danger. If Xiaoya wanted, making Shu Ann disappear would be simple. Besides, Shu Ann was proud and would likely leave if she could. Jingyan had worked hard to keep this proud bird in his cage.

For someone like Lih Jingyan, apologizing is no easy feat, and Fu Xiaoya didn't expect one either. Once she noticed Jingyan's rare moment of complexity, she felt a sense of satisfaction, almost like a form of revenge. Who would have thought that Jingyan was seriously contemplating whether to apologize? In the past, he wouldn't have given it a second thought, but Xiaoya wasn't just anyone. At some point, she had become part of his inner circle.

"I've said a lot, and maybe it all seems pointless and annoying to you, but it's truly what I wanted to tell you," Xiaoya said. Jingyan seemed like he wanted to argue, but he couldn't find the words. Xiaoya caught a hint of amusement in her eyes, fully aware of Jingyan's awkwardness. Unfortunately for him, she wasn't the one who could make him break his principles.

"Is this why you came to see me today?" Jingyan asked, his expression complicated. Honestly, after hearing her out, he concluded that he had been a jerk and that she now wanted her freedom—was she suggesting a breakup? But Jingyan never really understood women. Xiaoya wasn't about to let him off the hook so easily. She had said before she wasn't ready to give up.

"Of course, there's more to it. You've been so distant lately. I started wondering if you've found your true love," Xiaoya said with a playful smile, her sharp gaze making Jingyan wary. He shot her a slightly cold look, but Xiaoya responded with a warm smile, which only added to Jingyan's confusion.

"That doesn't concern you, does it? If you're done talking, you should leave," Jingyan said, clearly trying to avoid the topic. Xiaoya pretended not to understand, feeling a bit embarrassed but also resigned and bitter. It was disheartening to realize he didn't trust her anymore. Given her personality, Jingyan should have known better, but in his mind, everything was categorized and ranked.