C3 Chapter 3

Twenty seven minutes later, the elevator is shooting me upwards to the thirtieth floor. I'm out and running into the lobby, heading towards the lonely door. This time, I do not hesitate before pushing the door open and jumping into his office which is surprisingly empty.

That's strange. Where has he gone to? The receptionist gave me the security pass but didn't say anything about Mr Jay's absence.

I see a brown door to my right, which I'm sure is the bathroom. Could he be in there? I'm debating on what to do as I look at a smaller black door to my left, close to his tall, glassy and elegant bookshelf. Perhaps, that might be another secret office where he stays when no one is around. I don't know whether to knock on the brown or black door or to just sit and wait for him on one of those blue leathered couches?

But what if he doesn't come out? Up here is very lonely and silent. Anything can happen to a person without the security men knowing since they're not allowed to come up. I don't realize my feet it taking me to the black door until I knock my head on the shiny surface. Stupid me! Aishh. . .

I push the door open as I step inside, throwing my eyes around the darkness which is not so dark as a result of the large, intimidating screens fixed into the walls everywhere. They're CCTV monitors, showcasing bustling people; mostly employees, places, floors, corners, elevators, and even. . . a bathroom? Really?

"You're not only lazy, Miss Han. I see that you're a brazen and stubborn woman." There, he stands in a dark corner ahead of me, framed eyes boring into my soul. I didn't even notice his presence when I entered because my attention went directly to the screens.

"Mr Jay. . . I really didn't mean to. You weren't in the office so I just thought that this place is lonely and silent, and anything can happen to you without anybody knowing."

He takes a long stride closer, his bored expression quickly fading only to be replaced with a look of surprise and something I may call amusement in his sharp eyes. "So you were worried, about me, is that your conclusion?"

I nod at him to greet. "Good Morning, Sir. I'm sorry for coming late. I don't have any excuse, however I don't agree with your decision of firing me through a phone call. I don't think its professional of you to do that. Consider writing a letter of dismissal if you really want me gone." I don't answer to his question as to whether I was worried about him or not. My attitude can be defiant sometimes, depending on my mood.

Of course I can be normal, sweet, obedient, submissive and calm. However, most of the time, people tend to find me strange, brazen, rude, pompous, name it anything you want to. But at least, nobody knows that I am messed up in the head except for Mom and Dad. They don't talk about it. They don't tell me how I got into that place about twelve years ago. They only sent me to the States to receive psychological counseling after the deed had been done. The counseling didn't work. I'm still secretly messed up.

"How. . . Dare. You." Mr Jay is standing and towering over me because I'm not wearing a high heels. It's a flat snickers so I'm considerably shorter than him. "This is my company, you don't tell me how to run my own company, you follow and obey my rules. Are you brazen or are you just messed up in the head?" Okay, he's yelling into my face and I'm beginning to loose it. But he didn't just called me messed up in the head, did he?

"I'm not messed up. Maybe you are, but I'm not. . . Sir. If you don't have better things to discuss with me, I'll have to leave right away. And point of correction, Mr Jung Jae Young. You did not build this company from scratch, you inherited it from your Father who worked so hard for an arrogant brat like you. I guess you're not familiar with the rules of handling employees, thus, I consider you unfit to be a CEO. I'm only forced to obey you because I want to keep my job. However, you can fire me if you think you can't handle my criticism. Just make sure to do it professionally."

He scrunches his flushed face, brows knitting together in multiple folds, eyes shooting straight daggers, nose flaring up continuously and lips slightly parting in what I'm assuming to be shock.

For a while, we're both silently exchanging a heated gaze. The heat from his raging eyes seems to be having an impact on me because I'm all sweaty and I want to take off my top coat.

"When I say you're fired, it means you're fired, Miss. Get out of my office. And hand me the keys to the car and apartment before you leave. Now!" He shouts.

Anger finds its way to my throat. I can feel the rage and bitterness about to make me explode. His good looks are useless, in-fact, I can't seem to find anything admirable about this man. Maybe he thinks I'm going to sleep on the street if he take away my keys? How disgustingly stupid!

My hand plummets into my coat as I fish out the car remote and the key to my apartment and drop them to the floor. He can have my clothes and even under-wears if he so badly wish to have them. Useless piece of rotten garbage. I turn to the door and storm out.

*

Its been more than seven hours now and I'm still sitting on the long, deserted bench. I'm at the closest bus stop to our office, I don't know why I can't bring myself to conclusion on whether to go back to the company or not. Damn my ego and self esteem. Is it okay to go and beg?

No. Definitely no.

I had only realized the huge mistake I made when I was about to take a taxi earlier, and the harsh reality came to bash me in the face. My handbag, phone, atm cards and every essential thing I need are in the car, and I don't even want to imagine myself in front of that jerk, begging him for the car key. I honestly don't know what to do at this point. So I'm just sitting in the cold and zoning in and out. . . In and out. . . In and out. . .

"Hello," says a cute little girl who has just run over to me, her Mom is calling out her name Mi Kyung, but she's here smiling at me and holding up a. . . A teddy. A fat, smiling teddy bear? I hate it!

I feel something beginning to choke my insides as my eyes get stuck on the smiling teddy bear. I hate it. I hate it. My thoughts are spiraling. . . Yanking me back into the room with smiling teddies. Lots and lots of smiling teddy bears everywhere. I'm being pushed into a dark tunnel, where my head is spinning around in circles. I'm breathlessly floating in space and looking for a way out in the blinding darkness.

My way out. . . I have to find my way out. I'm screaming and trying to push away the person touching me. Hands. So many hands all over my body, I can't fight them. I can't. I should run away!

"She's having a panic attack! Call the ambulance!"

"Don't go closer. . . Let's go, sweetheart. . ."

"Hey, get away from her!"

"And who are you, Mr? Are you her boyfriend or her husband?"

"Miss Han! Miss Han! Miss Han, breathe. . . Get a hold of yourself and breathe. . . I'm here. You're okay. Just breathe, Miss Han."

And everything stops; the spinning and spiraling and breathlessness stops. The world stops for two to three seconds before it bounces back to life, and I open my eyes and find myself crumpled; a warm fur coat draped all over me. Looks like I'm still at the bus stop, but not on the bench anymore but the cold ground, rather. Together with someone cradling me protectively in their arms.

Tears are streaming down from my eyes but the long, perfectly straight fingers are working tirelessly to wipe them off gently. I just want to stay like this for the rest of my life. Its warm and comforting. But wait, those hands undoubtedly belongs to a man. . . Shoot. . . My eyes flutters up to the face of a handsome Mr Jay without glasses. There's tension, curiosity, shock and a look I can't decipher in his darkening brown eyes.

For a moment, I still want to stay, however, the shock overwhelms me and I try to get up. His hold tightens around me as if he doesn't want me to move at all.

"Stay. . ." His lips tremble. "It's my fault for sending you away like that. I did wrong. I didn't know you have anxiety and panic attacks, your medical records are clean. I'm sorry. Sarah. I'm so sorry and ashamed."

Now I'm speechless. Not because I don't know what to do or say, but because he just apologized to me and I'm afraid. I'm about to have my second panic attack because I'm very scared and shaken. Thoroughly shaken to the point that goosebumps are under my shirt at the moment, and I think something is definitely wrong with CEO Jay.

But what is his problem? And why is my heart suddenly fluttering this much?