C1057 The Only Thing I Regret Is

From 1919 to 1938, we agreed to meet once a year, only a few days in a short time, and a few months in a long time.

In fact, in the winter of 1919, Rongge had asked Qing Huan if she was willing to go to D Country with him.

Qing Huan understood what he meant. He just felt that she was alone and it was very difficult for her to leave her hometown. So he wanted Qing Huan to go to his country, and perhaps the two of them could become neighbors. He could more or less give her some convenience in life.

However, he did not think that she had left her hometown in N City, but the name of her country was still carved on the land under her feet. As long as she wanted, she could return to Tianjin at any time. And once she went to D Country, that would be life, there was nothing she could do.

In 1920, Rongge looked at her at the beginning of winter at the end of autumn. At that time, Qing Huan had already heard the news of Marshal Sun's assassination. If it were not for waiting for Rongge, she would have packed up her luggage early in the morning. Last time, in T City.

That year, Rongge had accompanied her for a very short period of time. In just two days, both of them had gone back to their respective cities.

At the beginning of 1921, Qing Huan returned to T City and found a class to sing a song to settle down. Occasionally, she would go and see the children. Occasionally, she would also look at the foreign buildings across the street. Three years had passed, and the children had not been able to recognize her during the chaotic years. The western-style building was as extravagant as ever, but there were also many new faces added to it. The newlyweds laughed and the old cried. This was an iron rule that had never changed in the history of the building.

She was changing. Everything in T City was changing. The river that she often went to was about to dry up. There were no more people leaving on the bridge. There was a noodle stall in the alley. Every night, the smell of stewed bones could be smelled from a few streets away.

She left the building and bought a small courtyard, and only went in once. However, it was very spacious for a person to live alone. There was a persimmon tree in the courtyard that was surrounded by rocks. It was already very tall. When Qing Huan bought the yard, she thought that when the persimmon matured in autumn, she could pick some dried fruits and make them into persimmon for Rongge to eat.

In the winter of 1921, it was the time when Rongge came to T City. Qing Huan went to the port to wait for him every day. There were scarves and persimmon in the small basket. She hoped that he would not be frozen. At the same time, she also wanted him to taste the sweetness of the persimmon she roasted.

He seemed to love gray. A gray hat, a gray suit, a gray coat, a gray suitcase in his hand, and a small gray gift box in his arms.

Qing Huan handed him a small basket and he handed her a small gift box. In the basket was a scarf, and in the box was also a scarf. One gray and one red, low-key and gorgeous, but in that instant, it reached a delicate balance.

In 1922, Qing Huan was 23 years old, and Rongge was 29 years old. This year, he only stayed one night in T City. When they parted, he told her that he was getting married.

Qing Huan was not surprised by this. She only felt relieved. This man had never belonged to her from beginning to end. Finally, it was time to truly part with him.

When they parted ways this year, both of them did not mention that they would meet again next year. They both knew that their feelings stopped here.

In 1923, Rongge did not come, but he sent a letter to her.

In the letter, it said that he had a cute child. The child was very intelligent, and he also had a pair of eyes that were as beautiful as her mother's.

Looking at these unfamiliar words, Qing Huan instantly thought of the child she had never met before. If the child was still around, perhaps she would not have left the Marshal Mansion. She wouldn't have to face a new nightmare, and she wouldn't have to face Rongge again.

However, there was no such thing as' if 'in this world. The child had turned into blood before he had even grown his little hands and feet, and it was destined that he had no fate with her.

It was also during this year that Qing Huan felt that her life was too dull. Hence, she learned from others that she had invested money to open a shop and only sold lute in the shop.

On the day of the ribbon cutting, many people came to the shop. Most of them were her friends and customers in her class. There were also some neighbors who chatted happily with her. They wished her a prosperous business and a booming source of income. It was also the liveliness at that time that allowed her to truly feel that she had once again established her roots in Tianjin.

In the winter of 1924, during this season where Qing Huan originally thought that Rongge would not come again, she saw him again.

He went to the store to find her. When he entered, he did not say anything. He even looked at the pipa in the store for a long time before taking off his extremely low hat.

Qing Huan could no longer describe the state of her heart when she saw Rongge at that time. Surprise, doubt, and anxiety were not enough to describe the complicated feelings at that time.

This time, Rongge stayed in T City for a long time until he accompanied her on the second New Year's Eve.

Qing Huan originally thought that he would say something to her, but until the time they parted, he did not say anything.

Qing Huan asked her, "How are your wife and child? You've been gone for so long, they must miss you"

Rongge said, "I'm divorced. The child belongs to her."

Qing Huan did not ask further. Rongge was a soldier and a colonel. Her wife was definitely not an ordinary person. There were many things that she did not understand about their class.

The two of them bid farewell in silence.

1925, 1926, Rongge came to see her. However, every time they talked, they had to avoid his family, because whenever they talked about it, he would always choose to remain silent.

In the past two years, the business in Qing Huan Shop had not been bad. They could make some money, but they did not make much. It was only easier and more free than when she went to work.

Until the summer of 1927, Rongge asked her if she was willing to marry him.

That year, Qing Huan was already 28 years old. When she was born, she had the charm of a mature woman. Rongge was 34 years old. He was a man in his prime and had a different charm.

If it wasn't for the fact that she had a failed experience and a dirty nightmare, Qing Huan would have agreed to marry him. No one could refuse such long-term company and the charm of this man.

However, Qing Huan's heart couldn't overcome that hurdle. She only said, "I'm not good enough for you."

Rongge understood what she meant. Summer came and summer left. Winter came, and after spending New Year's Eve with Qing, they hurried back to the country.

1928, 1929... Until 1938, Rongge would go to T City twice a year, one summer and one winter, and one birthday and a big year.

Facing Rongge's persistence for more than ten years, Qing Huan was not untouched. On the contrary, the longer she stayed, the more she fell in love with him. Falling in love, this was the first time Qing Huan realized that this word was used on her. Because she could always stare at him for a long time without realizing it. Then, she didn't want to quietly look at him for a long time. The candle flame swayed like the light of a bean. During this period of time, many times she could not avoid getting lost in love.

As she kissed, Qing Huan could not help but ask him, "Do you love me?"

Rongge did not answer. He only lightly kissed her forehead.

Qing Huan sometimes wanted to know the answer to this question, but sometimes she didn't want to. Fortunately, no matter how she asked, he wouldn't tell her.

This man was too wooden.

However, this wooden man couldn't help but say a few words in front of her -

When are you going to marry me?

When are you going to give birth to a child for me?

After so many years, Qing Huan could not remember how many words he had said. She only knew that she had never promised him anything.

In 1938, Qing Huan was 39 years old, and Rongge was 45 years old. However, time seemed to favor them very much. The wheels of the carriage rolled over, but there were no signs of aging on their faces.

At this time, Rongge no longer asked when Qing Huan would give birth to a child for him. He only asked when she would marry him. He asked again and again, from the dream to the joy. He asked from the kitchen to the bed, each time more urgent than the last. Stronger and tighter.

Sometimes, Qing Huan would get impatient with his questions and simply ignore him. Rongge grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest, "I'm not young anymore. I just want to have you in one piece before I die. I'll give you a wedding that you will never forget."

At this time, Qing Huan would cover his mouth and spit three times. She would then glare at him and scold him for being rude. Rongge would let her cover his mouth. His blue eyes were curved, and her figure was clearly reflected in them.

Time passed and came to 1939. This year, Rongge did not go to Tianjin to see her because a war that involved a lot of things had pulled him into a whirlpool.

It was not only the Kingdom of D where Rongge was, Qing Huan was also in China, Summer City. When the war was fierce, she did not dare to stay in the yard and only dared to avoid the storm in the dark cellar.

1940, 1941... Until 1945, Rongge had not seen her, not only did he not see her, he did not even send a letter.

"What happened after that?" Doso asked.

"After that..." Qing Huan looked at the dim yellow light and said tremblingly, "After that, I waited for him."

Dusso was the youngest son of the child she had helped. He was a good seedling for studying. This time, he found Qing Huan because of his father's request. He took her to B City to spend the rest of her life there.

"Until now? 1961." Dosso asked again.

Qing Huan nodded, "Until now."

"Why?"

"He always kept his promise. He said he would come, so he would come. I can't let him run away. "

Du Suo looked at the white-haired Cang Yan, but he could still see Fenghua's cheerful mood. He could not bear it. "Have you ever thought that he might have already..."

Qing Huan was 62 this year. Rongge had to be 68 no matter what. Even if he did not sacrifice himself in a war that lasted for six years, it was hard to guarantee that he would not die of old age. Or perhaps, he had a reason not to come and see her again.

"I have thought about it." Qing Huan nodded again. "I've thought about it many times."

"Then why are you still waiting?"

Qing Huan looked at the candle and was silent for a long time. It was so long that Doso thought that she would not say it again. Then she opened her mouth again: "I was just afraid that he would not be able to find me when he comes back. When I thought that he came all the way here but could not find me, my heart ached."

When Dosso heard her trembling voice, bitterness gradually arose in his heart. "Regret?"

Qing Huan slowly said, "No regret. The only regret I have is not going to his country to see him."

She thought about it day and night, wondering what kind of fertile and healthy land it was to give birth to such a heartbreaking and helpless man like Rongge.

The distance between them was close to half of the distance between Earth. There were mountains, seas, and continuous and turbulent waves between them. Separated by blood and time. However, it had always been him. He had crossed the mountain and crossed the sea to arrive in front of her. She had never been to his homeland, nor had she ever seen anything he had seen before. And she had never done anything that he had done before.

Doso felt bitter in his heart. He suddenly felt that his trip today was probably going to be empty. As expected, Qing Huan said to him the next sentence: "You are a good child, and your father is also a good person. Good people will be rewarded, and I received your goodwill. Go back. "

Doso knew that he could not persuade him, so he asked again, "Do you still want to wait? When will we not wait anymore? "

Qing Huan pursed her lips into a smile and nodded. "I will wait. I will not wait until he answers my question."

Dosso asked, "What question?"

Qing Huan's aged face revealed the shyness and sweetness of a young girl in love, "I asked if he loves me, but he still hasn't given me an answer."

Dusso's eyes became hot, and he suddenly had tears in his eyes, "I know, I love him."

Qing Huan shook her head, "What you said doesn't count."

Qing Huan just wanted that wooden man to tell her personally.

"I think..." Qing Huan suddenly straightened her back and looked behind Doso through the fire. "I saw him."

She smiled slowly. She stood up with her hands on the table and walked towards him. "Rongge, you are here."

Dosso looked back in surprise, but only saw the flickering door.

"Another gray hat." Qing Huan smiled and said, "So many years, once winter comes, I'll see you wearing this grey hat. Come, give it to me, I'll hang it for you..."

Qing Huan reached out to catch it, but only felt empty. Then, her body tilted, and her head hit the half-closed door.

With a dull sound, Doso hurriedly got up to check, only to see that she had a smile on her face and was no longer breathing.