C439 You're My Heaven

Shen Yi's eyes did not look like she was angry or angry at all. It was as if she really did not care about it.

Ni Chenjun looked at her eyes and felt panic in his heart, "Shen Yi, don't be like this. Don't look at me like that. If you want to hit me or scold me, I will have no regrets. Don't look at me like that."

Shen Yi did not know how to struggle. Who was going to be blamed for today's matter? But no matter what, she had to be included in it. If it was not for her stupidity and entanglement, today might not have developed to such an irreparable stage. It was such a pitiful responsibility. She only felt that she was wrong everywhere today.

"I don't know what kind of gaze I should use to look at you." Tears still fell, but Shen Yi not only did not feel comfortable in her heart. I just feel uncomfortable in my heart. I don't know how I should look at you. I also don't know how to look at myself."

This absurd kiss couldn't be blamed on Ni Chenjun. It was her who had a trap in her brain. She was the one who refused to accept defeat and had to fight with him. Now, after the kiss, she felt wronged and upset. Suffering my ass! Suffering my ass!

Ni Chenjun always had something to say in front of her. He was absolutely frank and honest. He would never reveal anything that he could not say. He was not like her. False and selfish. She didn't know what to say, and she only cared about her own dreams. She didn't care about anyone else. She had clearly agreed to reject, yet she still sent herself to the door to let others torment her.

What right did she have to cry?

But why couldn't she stop these damn tears? Why? Why did she have such an inexplicable feeling?

"Everything that happened today was my fault. You should have hit me, scolded me, and humiliated me. Shen Yi, nothing has anything to do with you. You don't have to feel uncomfortable in your heart. I forced you. " Ni Chenjun felt that there was something wrong with Shen Yi. The way she talked to him was also not right. However, he could not tell what was wrong or why. It was as if the two of them were not on the same channel. They stood on two parallel lines and said that they were going to be together.

"It's not your fault at all. It's me. It's all my fault. It has nothing to do with you at all. It's just that I'm being despicable!" Shen Yi gritted her teeth and said fiercely.

Ni Chenjun was scared by her last two words. He held her hands tightly. " There's nothing to be ashamed of. If you really want to be shameless, it's me. I knew you didn't like me, but I still pestered you. Shen Yi, you are the best Shen Yi in the world. Don't say that about yourself. No one can say that about you."

Shen Yi suddenly smiled when she heard him. Her eyes were red but her tears were as round as mermaids' pearls. When she rolled down her cheeks, she was even more beautiful than any diamond in the world. But in this sorrowful beauty, there was an inexplicable mix of confusion and inferiority. "What's good about it? Why don't I feel any good about me? Everyone tolerated me and let me go. I didn't do anything that made people feel comfortable at all. I only thought about myself. Everything was for my poor dream. Even the heavens didn't pity me. I was the only one who was foolish enough to think that it could be realized. "

She cried so hard that she couldn't catch her breath, "Why am I so stupid? What should I do...? Why? Why do you think I'm good? What do you think I'm good about? I'm not good at all, I don't have anything... "

Ni Chenjun's heart ached and he was frightened. He did not dare to imagine what Shen Yi was holding in her heart to make her lose control so much, make her deny herself so much, and deny all the hard work she had put in over the past few days and nights.

Ni Chenjun looked at Shen Yi, who was crying so hard that she could not catch her breath, and his heart throbbed with pain. Even his neck was red from crying. Just how big of a matter was holding in his heart?

"But I have already tried very hard. I have tried my best to talk to you guys. I have tried very hard. I've been trying my best to make friends with you guys... but I just can't do it. Why? I just want to have a lot of friends and friends. I don't want to be alone..."

Shen Yi cried intermittently again. Ni Chenjun could not even continue the conversation.

He did not know what Shen Yi was feeling inferior about. Friend? She had social connections? It was normal. Learning work? Very hardworking.

Ni Chenjun suddenly felt that his PhD in psychology had gotten the certificate for nothing. After thinking about it, he could not do anything about it. He could only watch as she cried her heart out.

"I'm not good at all. I'm not good at all. I'm not worth being liked by you guys at all. It's fine to black me. All the people on the Internet can black me. Anyway, I'm also a failure. There's no need for people to like me."

Before Ni Chenjun could react, Shen Yi pointed at him and scolded, "Are you stupid or blind? Which part of me is worthy of you liking? Why do you like me? There are thousands of people who are better looking than me and better looking than me. Why do you like me? "

Ni Chenjun felt as if his heart was going to be stabbed into a sieve. Shen Yi was like an abandoned child in the snow. She clearly desired to be brought home by her parents, but she always tried her best to tell them. I am not obedient, I am not cute, and I am not likable. Leave me alone, no one will like me.

Shen Yi, like this, felt inferior and thirsted for an arm, but she stubbornly forced herself to be strong. She lived a life more hardworking than anyone else, but her heart was more tired than anyone else.

He held her hand and rubbed it against his cheek. "I just like you. There is no reason. There are so many people who are more outstanding and beautiful than you in heaven and earth. But I like you. I only like the Shen Yi who stole my heart. "

"Who said you are not good? Who dares to say you are not good? So what if I like you? You are the best. In this world, you are the best. No matter how beautiful you are, no matter how excellent you are, you can't compare to a finger of yours. There's no reason. There's no need for a reason. If you insist on knowing the reason, you can only dig out my heart. Ask her why she jumps so quickly and anxiously only when she meets you."

"Shen Yi, Shen Yi, you are good in everything. The one who is bad is someone else. It is me. It is the heavens."

Shen Yi was still crying. The way she looked at Ni Chenjun changed a few times. Her lips were mumbling as if she wanted to say something, but she did not say anything for a long time.

Ni Chenjun stared at her unblinkingly, hoping that she could respond to him.

Shen Yi suddenly became silent when she heard him. Her tears did not stop, and the way she looked at him suddenly became dull. She was stunned, as if she was looking at something else through him.

Ni Chenjun was almost scared to death by Shen Yi's expression. What was with this appearance of his soul leaving his body?

He hugged her shoulder and called her, but she did not respond. He hugged her and pushed her onto the chair without saying anything. He did not even resist threatening to kiss her.

Ni Chenjun was very flustered. He was worried and blamed himself. He had no other choice but to keep talking to her. "Don't scare me, Shen Yi. Say something. If you have something to say, can you say it? Don't scare me like this."

"Is it because I like you? Is it because I forced you? Shen Yi, are you angry and want to punish me?" Ni Chenjun held Shen Yi's hand and pressed it against his cheek. For some reason, even his hand suddenly became cold.

Ni Chenjun was so scared that he almost cried. "Don't do this to Shen Yi. Don't torture yourself like this. Just treat it as if you were bitten by a dog and kissed by a pig. Hit me. Don't hold it in."

"Don't be like this. I feel uncomfortable. My heart aches." Ni Chenjun pressed Shen Yi's hand on his chest. "Didn't you just like it? It's fine if I don't like you. I'll hold it in. I won't say it even if you become an adult. You used to treat me like something, but now you treat me like something. You can treat me like a brother or a friend or an uncle. Just pretend that nothing has ever happened today. Pretend that I've never said such shameful things. "

Ni Chenjun's eyes turned red with anxiety, "Why do I have to fight for this? Why do I have to make you listen to me? Why do I have to be so stubborn? If I don't like it, then I don't like it. You don't have to like me, Shen Yi. All of this was caused by me. It's none of your business. It's all my fault that I can't accept it. It's all my fault that I forced you to kiss you. "

"How can there be so many things in the world 'I insist on being biased', it's my fault, I think of course, I didn't even think about it for you"

Ni Chenjun knelt on one knee and held Shen Yi's hands tightly. He did not even notice that he had formed a red mark. "I am not stubborn anymore. I admit defeat. I admit defeat. I don't like it, I don't like it. I'm leaving. I'm leaving now. Don't be like this. I'm begging you, Shen Yi. "

Ni Chenjun was really scared. He was afraid that it was because of a sudden impulse that caused irreparable harm to Shen Yi. It was because of his selfishness that made her suffer. It would be better to just cut him to pieces.

Ni Chenjun restrained the reluctance in his heart, put down Shen Yi's hand, and turned around to leave.

But just as he moved his feet away, the hand beside him was pulled. He turned his head and Shen Yi's face was full of tears again.

"I like it. What kind of feeling is it?"

Ni Chenjun and Shen Yi almost cried together. It was as if there was a fierce beast crashing into his chest, making him dizzy and have difficulty breathing.

He squatted down again and flipped her hand to press on his chest. " That was the feeling. My heart was beating so fast when you held my hand, your words could send me into the 18 layers of hell. One action could immediately bring me back to life.

Ni Chenjun tilted his head and rubbed Shen Yi's hand. "Shen Yi, you are my heaven."

Shen Yi felt the frequency and intensity of the violent beating of her hands. She cried and laughed. "I still don't understand. I don't have this feeling..."

"I... maybe a little..." She said intermittently, "I might like you a little, but I don't understand. I don't know how I feel when I fall in love with someone. I don't know if I'm lying to myself..."

Ni Chenjun felt his eyes heat up. "Can I hug you?"

Shen Yi was still crying, as if she could not stop herself from crying. Although she hesitated, she still nodded.

Ni Chenjun carefully hugged her. "Silly girl, you know when you have moved your heart. If you know how you feel when you are moved, then you won't be called your first love anymore."

"Let's give it a try, Shen Yi. I only need to like it a little. Leave the rest to me."