C8 An unfortunate accident

The campus grounds of Central Exeter were well manicured, featuring shaped trees and shrubs from a variety of worlds, and representing a diversity of style, yet managing to fuse them together into a pleasing whole. White and gray marble adorned the curved buildings and quad, accented with veins of silver and gold. Just standing there made one feel small. Everything about it screamed money and privilege.

As Gerald walked up to the campus entrance, the rising blue suns of Central hung over the main building like three sapphires. The tall, winding spire that ran for miles over the campus held a spinning gemstone in its grip. It all looked to him like one ginormous and beautiful crown.

“Well, it took a while, but I finally made it,” he said to himself. “I think my luck is about to change.”

There was a screech of metal and a crash of impact as a hover skiv slammed into him. The world flipped end over end, and everything went dark.

* * *

The next thing Gerald was aware of was a rubbery nose against his cheek, and quick sniffing sounds like a dog. Part of his brain wondered if Scraps had come back to him after all these years, but the rest of his brain reminded that part that he had never owned a dog named Scraps, or any dog at all. The part of his brain that thought about Scraps began to worry he had suffered brain damage, but the rest of his mind reminded that part that he had read somewhere that when you actually have brain damage you can’t recognize it. Or perhaps that was just an old episode of Fringe.

Gerald cracked his eyes open as the sniffing continued. His eyes met not a dog, but a wolf with the most beautiful emerald eyes he had ever seen. She began making a series of sounds, rather like whispered howls. A heartbeat later the translation came out in his ear.

“Oh, thank goodness, you’re awake,” she said, running her clawed hand gently over his forehead. “When you folded in half across that flagpole I was sure I had killed you. That would have just been awful.”

“Nope, still alive,” Gerald strained. He tried to lift his head, but the world spun when he did so he set it back down. It was then that he noticed his foot leaning up against his cheek. “Oh, that can’t be good.”

She leaned back and straightened her school uniform. “That was a close one. If you had died there would have been a mountain of paperwork for me to fill out. I could have been expelled.”

“Wha?”

She smoothed out the gray fur on her face and neck. “Look, this is pretty awkward for me. You see, I’m not actually allowed to drive on campus, so if you could just not tell them about my skiv, I’d really appreciate it.”

“Where am I?” he gurgled.

“Oh, I brought you here to the campus hospital. I’m just going to ring the bell and let them take it from here.”

“Who...”

“Welcome to Central Exeter.”

She blew him a kiss and then with a flick of her long fluffy tail she was gone. Everything started going dark again as medics streamed out the front door and gathered around him. Their voices grew more and more distant, until they were gone.

* * *

The next thing he knew, his eyes were forced open by smooth scaley fingers. The light that was shone into his retinas was painful, sending little daggers into his brain. There was a green-scaled man kneeling over him, holding something wet and lumpy in his gloved hands. “Excuse me, excuse me, I’m really sorry to wake you in the middle of surgery, but I really don’t know much about human anatomy. I just need to know, real quick, do humans need this?”

Gerald tried to look at the lump, but his body gave out and his world went dark again.

Gerald felt his senses coming back to him, one by one. Cool, sterile air on his skin. The steady beat of his heart. Silken sheets touching his skin. The beeping of medical machines.

He opened his eyes reluctantly, not entirely sure he wanted to know what he would find.

A lizard-skinned man was reclining back in his chair, a lit cigar hanging in his mouth, creating a trail of blue smoke that gave off a floral fragrance Gerald had never smelled before.

The man gave off a series of clicks and hisses as he sucked on the cigar. “Welcome back to the world of the living. My name is Dr. Klatta,” came the translation in his ear.

Gerald slowly sat up. Humming electrical casts covered his arms and legs, bandages covered his head and waist. As he tried to remember what was real and what had been a dream, he noticed the man leaning against a glowing jar filled with a floating brain.

“Is... is that my brain?” he asked groggily.

“Oh, this?” Klatta said, lifting up his elbow. “Why, yes. Yes, it is.”

“You removed my brain?”

Gerald placed his hands on his head, remembering the man asking him if it were something he needed. “How can I still be alive if you took out my brain?”

Klatta laughed, blue smoke spilling out of his mouth. “We thought it might be necessary. You were pretty banged up when we found you. So, we cloned your brain so we could replace it if we had to. Heads off any legal problems, so to speak.”

Klatta elbowed the nurse at his side. “Get it? Heads off.”

“Very humorous sir.”

Gerald lay back down, relieved. “Oh good. In my dream I remember you taking something out of me and asking if it was important.”

“That was no dream, but luckily it turns out you humans have some extra parts in there you don’t need. I believe that one was called an appendix.”

Gerald sat up again. “You believe? Are you sure that’s what it was?”

He shrugged. “I dunno. Pretty sure.”

There was a snap and a spark and the forcefields around Gerald’s limbs flickered out.

“Well, that’s done,” Klatta said, pulling off the cast generators and tossing them into a heap of the things in the corner.

“I’m healed already?” Gerald asked, moving his arms slowly.

“Not even close, but you’ve gone through our entire supply of acta molds, and every time we inject you with nanomeds they just die off, so we’re letting you go now to minimize our costs.”

“How long was I out for?” Gerald asked as he swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“Eight days. I tried calling the Soeck Temple in town but they had never heard of you.”

“I’m not surprised,” Gerald added, grabbing his folded robes from the tray table. “I didn’t get a chance to present myself to them yet. I wanted to register at the admissions office first.”

“Oh, so you are a student? Thank goodness. My boss would kill me if we had to eat the costs on this one. Nurse, send the bill to the Academy immediately, and add in a generous tip for myself.”

“Right away sir.”

Gerald slowly put his weight on his legs and felt the sharp pain where the bones had splintered. They were not fully mended yet, but they could at least support him. As he dressed himself, he looked over at the doctor nonchalantly blowing blue smoke rings up into the air.

“I know it’s none of my business, but should you really be smoking in here?”

“I have to, it’s the law.”